[intro music]
Em Schulz: Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha.
[vocalization]
Christine Schiefer: Flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter. I'm a bat flutter. Flutter. Flutter.
[vocalization]
Christine Schiefer: Welcome to our annual tradition of remembering last minute that this is our Halloween listener episode.
[vocalization]
Em Schulz: I don't know.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Listen, you had something going there.
[vocalization]
Em Schulz: There you go. [laughter] happy Almost Halloween. It is Halloween the 1st, if you will. Happy...
Christine Schiefer: That's right. It's the first...
Em Schulz: Happy Halloween. The first Christine.
Christine Schiefer: Advent Day. By the way, people are starting to do advent calendars for Halloween.
Em Schulz: Oh yes.
Christine Schiefer: And I'm so in support of this. I think this is genius behavior.
Em Schulz: I saw one last year that I... Is now being brought back by storm, which is like every day you get a different crystal, which I thought was fun.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, cute.
Em Schulz: Those other ones are candy I love. I mean, you know, I love any reason for an FLT? And if you're gonna give me 30 days of FLTs, I'm gonna just take it so.
Christine Schiefer: Abso-fucking-lutely. Speaking of FLTs, we're very excited. And by the way, if you don't know what the hell that is, don't Google it 'cause it's gonna tell you something that's not what we're talking about. Because in our world, FLT means fun little treat, which is a beautiful name Em invented, a concept Em invented. Speaking of fun little treats, we are very excited because we were meant to announce this sooner and we forgot, of course, that we are doing our annual Cryptids Unscripted very soon.
[vocalization]
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah. That's a what's a wolf, what's a werewolf? Is what that is, in the background.
Em Schulz: Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. Yes. We're doing Cryptids Unscripted. A lot of people thought we were gonna do it for Friday the 13th. Very sneaky. Sneaky. Sneaky.
Christine Schiefer: That would've been very smart. And yet...
Em Schulz: It Would've been very smart. Smart, smart. But you know what, instead we said, nah, we're gonna do it for Halloween. Is that what we're doing? We're, uh. We're doing a...
Christine Schiefer: I believe we're... Are we announcing when it Yes, and we're also doing, it's on Halloween. We're very excited because, it'll be like a little popup episode. The merch, we're doing merch, which I'm mostly excited for, uh, which comes out October 4th. And it's gonna have, oh my God, the design is so fun. It's like an actual slam poetry scene with like Mothman, and it's like kind of 1950s-esque. I'm just really amped for it and they did a really good job with it. But yeah, we, it's where we read our Cryptids slam poetry. And if you have a submission, you can send that in. I believe we have an email address that I'm just making Eva text me on the fly. Sorry, Eva. So Eva just sent it, atwwdfromourcouches. That is usually where we have submissions for things like this, like virtual shows and that kind of thing.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: And virtual, like live listener episodes, that kind of thing. So if you have a slam poetry submission, a Cryptids slam poetry submission, please send that in. I'm sure most of you do on hand that you've already written. I think we all do. So, you know, just send that on over and, uh, on Halloween we can all do a little listening party with some rain and some jazz.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It will be heavily produced with one jazz soundtrack that we put across...
Christine Schiefer: That I invented many years ago. And is royalty free [laughter] Yes, that's right. I've done it again.
Em Schulz: But We're very excited to share some stories with you. So in one way, October, since it's spooky season, it will be a two listeners episode month for you.
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: One at the beginning of the month and one at the end. So.
Christine Schiefer: Also Happy birthday Leona. Every year. I forgot...
Em Schulz: Happy birthday Leona.
Christine Schiefer: She's three.
Em Schulz: Every year for almost three years.
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: Uh, does that mean she officially wears 3T?
Christine Schiefer: Mm-Hmm.
Em Schulz: Shit.
Christine Schiefer: Well, she's getting growing into it. She's, she's like 17th percentile for height or something, so.
Em Schulz: Okay. Mm-Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: We got a little longer.
Em Schulz: Good 'cause I recently bought her a 2T something and I'm scared that she won't wear it for very long, but that's okay. We'll make it work. Ha ha ha. Okay. Happy third birthday, Leona, as a mom of three years and nine months. How do you feel, Christine?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that's nice. Great. We're doing a Dino party and it's outside, so I don't need to clean my house. I'm thrilled.
Em Schulz: Excellent.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Thank you so much.
Em Schulz: Excellent.
Christine Schiefer: It's called.
Em Schulz: Are you gonna have a dinosaur come to the party?
Christine Schiefer: Three Rex. No, I am gonna have a lot of activities and coloring and adopt a dinosaur and all sorts of fun stuff.
Em Schulz: Are you gonna get her those Little.
Christine Schiefer: Have you received your invitation?
Em Schulz: I don't know. I haven't checked the mail since I got home yesterday...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay. Well check the mail.
Em Schulz: Uh, are you gonna get her those little sponges that are dinosaur shaped and then they you put them in the water and they grow?
Christine Schiefer: Already Did. They're in the...
Em Schulz: Yes.
Christine Schiefer: The goody bags.
Em Schulz: What about the eggs that you can scratch and then...
Christine Schiefer: Of course. Excavation eggs?
Em Schulz: Yes.
Christine Schiefer: Yep. Got those...
Em Schulz: Uh, I think those are my two favorite dinosaur things.
Christine Schiefer: Is this your RSVP? Are you coming?
Em Schulz: What? When's the date? Her birthday?
Christine Schiefer: October 5th. Type type type [laughter]
Em Schulz: October 5th. Allison's family's in town.
Christine Schiefer: Damn it! Damn it Allison.
Em Schulz: I don't don't know what to tell you...
Christine Schiefer: I didn't know introducing you two would have such dire consequences on my life.
Em Schulz: Me too. I mean I ended up in a house that's like too fucking small, so I get it. Thanks Christine for introducing us. And now I'm in this little tight nook.
Christine Schiefer: I'll never...
Em Schulz: I'm only stressed about that because what I have to do today, other than record is I have to clean it and I just don't want to do it. So.
Christine Schiefer: That would sounds like my nightmare, which is why I am hosting a party outside, even though it's October. So, you know, wish me luck.
Em Schulz: You know, I am learning to... I am coming around to to this place, which, someone commented saying like, such a shame that Em clearly hates living there. Wouldn't you if you lived in tight quarters with everything and also now I have to pay 10 grand for a wire to get moved? Yes, I do hate it a little bit currently. But it's gonna be lovely.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, like, I guess I don't know, hate is a really strong word though, but yeah I suppose.
Em Schulz: And in moments like that. Yeah. I do fucking hate it. You would hate it too. But when things are clean and we can actually walk around and we're not just like sitting in boxes, I won't hate it anymore. It's just and I have to do that today, which makes me absolutely just wanna throw up.
Christine Schiefer: Em Just kind of swings between very extreme emotions. So sometimes they're just extremely bad. That's just how it is.
Em Schulz: I just live in hyperbole and that's fine.
Christine Schiefer: That's exactly, that's beautiful. So poetic.
Em Schulz: Thank you. So you can think I hate it. And half the time you're probably right. That's fine. Anyway, I will hate it less when this place is clean. It's just never been clean since we moved in. And We're just still living in boxes. It's crazy. Okay, blah, blah, blah. Where are we? It is spooky season. Do you know what you're dressing up as for Halloween, Christine?
Christine Schiefer: Not even a little bit. My brain has not extended past this today.
Em Schulz: Allison and I are we're gonna dress up as something from a reality show and I don't remember what it was name was. She might...
Christine Schiefer: That must be very timely since you've forgotten it already.
Em Schulz: Probably. And it's also, we watched reality shows far after they've come out. So.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, exactly.
Em Schulz: So.
Christine Schiefer: I was like, wait a minute. Was it Below Deck?
Em Schulz: I think it was. I think we're gonna, I'm gonna be, she's gonna be Captain Sandy. I'm gonna be Captain Lee. I think that's how it's gonna be, but I'm not sure yet.
Christine Schiefer: That's nice.
Em Schulz: Captain Sandy is one of Allison's only celebrity crushes in the entire world.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I have heard about that.
Em Schulz: And I have a crush on everybody else, so it works out.
Christine Schiefer: That's beautiful.
Em Schulz: Okay. Spooky season Cryptids Unscripted at, on Halloween day. Expect an episode from us where we read your spooky stuff and now we got some general Halloween stories for you. Eva has picked some spooky stuff to kickoff October the right way. And I'm gonna go first Christine.
Christine Schiefer: Great. While I find the link. Awesome.
Em Schulz: Poifect.
Christine Schiefer: Poifect.
Em Schulz: Are you drinking your bathroom grog that you found on the floor?
Christine Schiefer: Okay, so Em thought it was so weird. I guess it's weird. Maybe, I guess I didn't think it was weird until I said it out loud and then you reacted. But I did find a box... So I was we were on our yappy hour on Patreon talking about how like, deeply unhinged we were during the week of our first show when we've really just made the most poor decisions as we like to call the tour. And we didn't know how perfect that name would be, and how little we slept and how just our brains were scrambled. And I, as an example, at the end I was like, yeah, like last night I went to my bathroom to brush my teeth for the first time probably all week. And I found a box of wine on the bath, like just sitting on the... Sitting next to my towels. And I was like, how did that even get here? And the thing is, I have one downstairs, so I'm like, I don't even know how this appeared. Like I'm not mad about it. But because it's a box, it's not like affected by the bathroom.
Em Schulz: I think I'm worried about the spout touching the floor.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, I'm not like peeing on the floor of the bathroom.
Em Schulz: Okay, then sure. Then it's gonna be fine.
Christine Schiefer: Are you?
Em Schulz: The wine on the inside is probably delicious.
Christine Schiefer: The way that you just said? Yeah, that's okay. In that case.
Em Schulz: I mean 'cause it's a floor and it's a bathroom floor. I wouldn't wanna like eat food off of it.
Christine Schiefer: Well, it's not on the bathroom floor.
Em Schulz: Oh, I thought you said you found it on the floor.
Christine Schiefer: No, I just found it in the bathroom on...
Em Schulz: Oh, that's fine.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. No, on the counter next to all my towels. And I thought, this is weird. I don't know how this got here, but I'm really excited. And I was gonna go get it, but then I was worried 'cause Em made such a disgusted face, but then looked concerned and I was like, if Em was disgusted, that's one thing. If Em's concerned, then maybe I should listen. So I...
Em Schulz: No, I encourage it now that it wasn't on the floor. I thought it was on the floor or something.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, no it was not on the floor, but it has been on the floor and whatever. I don't care. You know that about me and...
Em Schulz: I sure do.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Nothing fazes me, but, I am instead of drinking a beer because I found it in my little mini fridge up here.
Em Schulz: On the floor.
Christine Schiefer: On the floor of my mini fridge in the bathroom. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Okay. Well our first story comes from Graci who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is my family's experience with a gateway to hell.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh.
Em Schulz: I love that it's was like a family memory.
Christine Schiefer: I know. It sounds like actually kind of like fun. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Graci says, hi everyone, my name is Graci and I have been listening since 2017. Wow. That's...
Christine Schiefer: Shut up.
Em Schulz: OG listener. And I have a unique story that I would like your opinions on.
Christine Schiefer: Oh God.
Em Schulz: I love giving my opinion.
Christine Schiefer: By the way. I love being invited to give my opinion 'cause then it's like no holds barred.
Em Schulz: I live near Stull Cemetery, supposedly one of the seven gates of hell located a few miles outside of Lawrence, Kansas, which is where...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, we're going there.
Em Schulz: Where I will be seeing you front row this month.
Christine Schiefer: Oh [laughter] I was about to start yelling at her. And then I was like, wait.
Em Schulz: I mean.
Christine Schiefer: Just give it a minute.
Em Schulz: Stull is a very small, unincorporated community in the county. And I live with a cemetery that is the subject of a ton of local legend. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is said that the devil visits Stull twice a year using a staircase that is hidden on Halloween and on the spring Equinox and has been doing this since the 1850s. So I like that...
Christine Schiefer: I feel like he's like 1850s, I guess I'll step on down. I like what I see.
Em Schulz: 1849 came around and he was like, I really got to start zhuzhing it up.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: What's, what do I do on the spring Equinox. Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Well because why don't I go to Kansas? That seems like the right thing to do. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Of all the places on earth, Kansas is the ticket. [laughter] Less known stories say he began visiting because he's visiting the grave of a local witch he had a child with. Oh, so he's a present father. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my. Well he's present two days a year.
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter] Well, so is my dad, so whatever.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, I was gonna say it's more than a lot of dads. So good job.
Em Schulz: A limestone church that used to stand in the center of the cemetery is another main subject of many of the legends. A story about the church I remember being told on many occasions was that even years after it had been abandoned and began crumbling, rain never fell within the area of the foundation despite fallen walls and damaged or missing roofs.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh.
Em Schulz: The church was mysteriously torn down in March of 2002 without the knowledge of the owner. Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: What? How do you do that? You just bring a big wrecking ball.
Em Schulz: Can you imagine just finding out that your building's gone.
Christine Schiefer: And your church of all things? .
Em Schulz: Yeah. You're just like, wait a uh.
Christine Schiefer: That's got to feel ominous.
Em Schulz: You're like, hang, wait, hang on. Whoa. Where? Hang on.
Christine Schiefer: It's like somebody just like took the inside of your house. It's like, it must be so jarring that you're like, wasn't there a building here? [laughter] Like wasn't my building here.
Em Schulz: So It's like also there's a lot of like decrepit buildings. Am I forgetting where I left mine.
Christine Schiefer: Did I miss something? Yeah.
Em Schulz: Only Christine Schiefer could lose a building though. So.
Christine Schiefer: I, and I probably will. And I probably have. Yeah.
Em Schulz: And I've always said that.
Christine Schiefer: And I've always said that [laughter]
Em Schulz: Many people that visit Stull report losing time as they explore the remains of the church and look for the hidden staircase. Over the years, there has unfortunately been a lot of vandalism and destruction because of how popular the legend is. And visitors are no longer encouraged as large, no trespassing signs are everywhere and there is significant police presence in the area.
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: Damn. So I was gonna say, you and I could have a little picnic in a cemetery.
Christine Schiefer: A private outing.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Not gonna happen.
Christine Schiefer: Not gonna happen.
Em Schulz: Some of the stories admittedly sometimes sound a bit out there, and I think that unfortunately takes away any credibility for... Sorry. Credibility of...
Christine Schiefer: Credibility [laughter]
Em Schulz: Of stories from Stull with the locals here. I would also be a skeptical local if it wasn't for my family's personal stories in Stull. When I was about 15 or 16, my cousin and I were really into anything spooky, and my paternal aunt decided to tell us about some of the... Her times there with her friends when they would go to the cemetery to look for the staircase in the early '90s.
Christine Schiefer: You gotta have a kooky aunt to like egg you on.
Em Schulz: Especially on your dad's side. If you want a relationship with anyone on your dad's side, it's gotta be the kooky aunt.
Christine Schiefer: It's gotta be the sister. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. There's a lot of videos where people realize that like when their brother has a kid, they're gonna be on their dad's side of the family and they just cannot recoup from that information.
Christine Schiefer: Oh no. [laughter]
Em Schulz: So you just gotta be the...
Christine Schiefer: Paternal [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah like the paternal aunt. Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: Yikes.
Em Schulz: So kooky aunt said that the church, which was not completely demolished at the time, always had some strange items in it, or looked like some spooky activities or rituals had taken place there. Her main story though, was about her success in finding the staircase. Leave it to the kooky paternal aunt.
Christine Schiefer: She would, she'd probably just stumbled across it by accident too.
Em Schulz: Oh yeah. Oh, of course.
Em Schulz: What's this?
Christine Schiefer: She was looking for her floor wine and she just found it.
Christine Schiefer: I was gonna say she was looking for her wine. See, I'm made for this job and of course probably none of my siblings will have kids. And I'll just be the fucking cuckoo aunt for nobody.
Em Schulz: It's gonna...
Christine Schiefer: Oh that's it's so annoying.
Em Schulz: It's gonna be just Leona being like, that's my mom. Please don't talk to her.
Christine Schiefer: I need someone else to have a kid I can just be kooky toward besides my own.
Em Schulz: It's like in the most recent, in the new Beetlejuice movie where like, Jenna Ortega's, like...
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: Yeah, that's my mom. She grew up in the Beetlejuice manor. That's gonna be Leona.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking over her.
Em Schulz: Please don't talk to her too long. She'll like.
Christine Schiefer: Please.
Em Schulz: Get the wrong idea that you want this.
Christine Schiefer: Don't make eye contact. Yeah. It's not good. She drank floor wine again last night. It's been a rough day.
Em Schulz: The day that Leona goes to her kindergarten teacher and says mommy and her floor wine had a great time last night.
Christine Schiefer: Oh God.
Em Schulz: You'll know you're in trouble.
Christine Schiefer: Well, you know what's so funny? It's not funny. Well, it's a little funny.
Em Schulz: I can't wait.
Christine Schiefer: And I did not do this on purpose.
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: Whenever I drink wine, she just calls everything that's a grownup beverage that she's not allowed to have coffee. So she's like, mommy drinks a lot of coffee. And I'm like, yes, mommy does drink a lot of coffee. [laughter]
Em Schulz: There's a... I know one kid who...
Christine Schiefer: I just don't correct her.
Em Schulz: I know one kid who calls it mommy's fun juice.
Christine Schiefer: Oh well.
Em Schulz: Mommy has fun when she has her juice.
Christine Schiefer: Oh Well, if Leona went to school and said, mommy's fun juice. I think CPS might be called or something might be called. I mean, [laughter], but mommy drinks coffee. It's like, seems mundane enough. You know.
Em Schulz: It's almost as if you taught her in advance to hide it from the public.
Christine Schiefer: I Didn't and I... It almost felt like, well she did it on her own. So I feel like I can't correct her. I'm just gonna let her call it coffee.
Em Schulz: It's mommy's coffee, but it's her spicy coffee that I won't like.
Christine Schiefer: Thank you. I call it hot sometimes.
Em Schulz: Yep.
Christine Schiefer: So I'm like, it's hot. Don't touch it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Okay, so kooky Aunt.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, am I the world... Happy birthday Leona. Am I the world's worst mother? Probably. I'm sorry.
Em Schulz: Uh, kooky aunt found the staircase. My aunt told us. Her and her friends had found it after a while of searching and said it was more difficult than they thought, but also were surprised to find it even existed. And then they decided to go down the stairs. Of course.
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: The group stopped after 15 minutes and already insane amount of time to be on any set of stairs, by the way. And checked their watches to find it had actually been about two hours since...
Christine Schiefer: Absolutely not.
Em Schulz: They had had started the stairs.
Christine Schiefer: Absolutely not.
Em Schulz: I, when I tell... You know what I would've fucking done.
Christine Schiefer: What?
Em Schulz: I would've just sat there and prepared to die. 'cause I would've been like, there's no way I'm taking two hours of uphill stairs. There's no way. I'm just done for.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God.
Em Schulz: I'm just done for.
Christine Schiefer: I'm just convinced that's aliens or something. I don't like it.
Em Schulz: You know what's so funny though? Imagine if the staircase is actually super shallow and for two hours they were just stomping in place. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Did they like... Oh yeah. They were just going up like incrementally millimeter at a time.
Em Schulz: No, they were just like putting, they were just doing like high knees on the stairs. They [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Two hours later. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. Did their... I'm most curious about like what their thigh muscles felt like the next day.
Christine Schiefer: Well, she they said they were going down the stairs. I thought.
Em Schulz: I know, but don't you have to go back up the stairs to tell your niece about the story?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I'm assuming that they were just like, you could go down them and it would still be like on you walk around. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: I didn't think you'd have to walk up them, but maybe.
Em Schulz: I assume if you're going downstairs, eventually you have to go upstairs. But I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, but if they're just like abandoned and they don't go to anything, I don't know.
Em Schulz: Graci, we'll ask you at the show. Now at 24, I wanna believe my aunt was feeding my cousin and I stories. I was like feeding my cousin. I was feeding my cousin and I stories that would get us riled up. But the way that my dad reacts to it all makes me believe that what my aunt told us as kids was actually true. My dad has worked for our county sheriff's office for 27 years and in that time he has patrolled and worked countless calls at Stull Cemetery. One thing about my dad is, that's important to know, is that he is a very much no bullshit guy and would not entertain or encourage anything that may have the potential to get us in trouble with the law. When I asked him about his sister's stories and if they were true, I expected him to tell us, don't believe in that silly stuff and don't trespass. However, for years, anytime I asked about it, the only thing he would say is, don't ever go there.
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: I would push.
Christine Schiefer: Well, that's not what you tell a teenager. Sorry.
Em Schulz: That's Right, exactly.
Christine Schiefer: Lesson number one, [laughter]
Em Schulz: Like I would be there tonight.
Christine Schiefer: Immediately.
Em Schulz: I would push and ask about what he has seen in his time there and he still would say, just don't ever go there. What would you believe? Thanks. Oh, what would you believe? I think they're asking us? Thanks for taking the time to read my little local story. If you've been interested in more spooky places in Lawrence, I highly suggest the Eldridge Hotel.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh.
Em Schulz: Which I'm sure Christine will be...
Christine Schiefer: Booking. Yeah [laughter]
Em Schulz: Putting us us in. Now that that's there. All my love, Graci.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Wow. Okay. Gracie, I love that you were like, anyway, so I listened to my dad and did not go to the stairs, and I'm like, like, wait, what?
Em Schulz: Yeah, well done. If my dad said to do anything, it would be exactly the opposite of what I'd be doing.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Oh my God. Yeah. That's creepy. I don't know.
Em Schulz: I would believe it.
Christine Schiefer: I believe it.
Em Schulz: I do have a lot of questions about what happened when they realized you were two hours downstairs.
Christine Schiefer: I know. I wish there was more. Is your aunt still with us? 'cause I would love for you to ask her more questions, [laughter] because I was so curious.
Em Schulz: Yeah, imagine the hike. It had to be just like a quick thing of stairs and like, just in that ten-second period of getting downstairs, like that's, they just lost memory of whatever happened on the stairs.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. But it said they spent 15 minutes on the stairs. I'm like, doing what?
Em Schulz: Yeah. Didn't they think these are a lot of fucking stairs?
Christine Schiefer: 15 minutes, were they just standing on the stairs?
Em Schulz: 15 minutes is half an episode of a TV show. That's a third of a Law and Order.
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: I would literally just ab, then, first of all, did you not look down and see how far it goes? Absolute... My first thought.
Christine Schiefer: No, I think they were just standing there. I don't think they were walking for 15. I mean, maybe they were, I okay. Maybe I misunderstood. I thought it was just like they hung out on the stairs, like sitting around or like.
Em Schulz: Maybe you're right. 'cause your version sounds a lot less miserable than mine. I'm really...
Christine Schiefer: I mean, it does. That's what I'm telling myself.
Em Schulz: I'm really hooked on. Like, maybe they were just truly going up and down these fucking stairs.
Christine Schiefer: Top for 15... For two hours. Kill me.
Em Schulz: Okay. So that was Graci's story.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Thank you for your story. Uh, the most terrifying part was in fact [laughter] the stairs. So.
Christine Schiefer: Honestly, put a trigger warning for Em next time. Please. Thank you.
Em Schulz: Yes Please.
Christine Schiefer: Okay, let's see. I have a story here. Number two. This one's called My Childhood Imaginary Friend, The Demon. Uh-oh.
Em Schulz: Okay.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: This is from Cat, she/her, and it says, hi all. I'm currently working through old episodes of yours. I started at episode one in 2020. That feels fitting to start at episode one in 2020.
Em Schulz: Truly, yes.
Christine Schiefer: So I'm still about three years behind. Oof. So, pardon me if this isn't still a thing you do in 2024. Oh, it is. Nothing really much changes.
Em Schulz: Show is.
Christine Schiefer: And now that I've gotten my anxiety rambles out of the way, let's crack into it. I've got several stories, but this one deserves its own write-in. When I was young, around three or so, I had three imaginary friends for now.
Em Schulz: Three.
Christine Schiefer: Three, yeah. How many did you have? Did you have imaginary friends?
Em Schulz: I think I had one for like a second, but then I think I got shamed very quickly out of having an imaginary friend. But three is a party. Like.
Christine Schiefer: Three Sounds like, a riot. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Don't you get tired of them? Tell 'em to go home.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, seriously.
Em Schulz: Maybe you needed one for every like event. Like what if there was like a fancy.
Christine Schiefer: Like one for school.
Em Schulz: Casual. Yeah, a kickback.
Christine Schiefer: I had a school imaginary friend.
Em Schulz: What was that like?
Christine Schiefer: 'Cause I had no friends at school? [laughter]
Em Schulz: What was that like?
Christine Schiefer: Well, one girl, this, I was thinking about this yesterday. One girl told me to try to burn the school down and I was like, okay. And then my imaginary friend was like, don't do that. And I was like, okay.
Em Schulz: Oh, usually it's the opposite. It's the reverse. I know where your imaginary friend tells you and then a real person says stop.
Christine Schiefer: No, I think, I think, no, it was, anyway, it's [laughter] We don't know. We were three. I didn't know how to burn a school down, but I was like, okay. She said, you know what she said? She said, rub these sticks together until a fire starts. And I was like, okay.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: What was she like brother in the scouts or something? And she wanted to like... I feel like somebody was feeding her something.
Christine Schiefer: She wanted to get out of class. Yeah. I don't know. I still think about that. I'm like, what a weird, and like, she was my only friend, so I was like.
Em Schulz: Have you looked her up to see if she has committed arson?
Christine Schiefer: No, because now she's all like, then she became like a popular girl and never spoke to me again. So I was like, oh I know secrets about you that you wanna burn the school down. Okay [laughter]
Em Schulz: I'm gonna keep this in my back pocket in case you ever wrong me.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she did and I was too scared. So [laughter] It's fine. Anyway this is not about me. This is about Cat. It says, that when I was young around three, I had three imaginary friends. For now, the main character besides me, of course, is Herne.
Em Schulz: Of all the names.
Christine Schiefer: Why is that? It's worse than I could have envisioned.
Em Schulz: That tells me immediately it's really a demon because no child is just picking that.
Em Schulz: Herne.
Em Schulz: If you're, if Leona said, oh, I have an, an imaginary friend and her name is Ashley, I'd be like, oh, okay. But if she said his name is...
Christine Schiefer: Or even like a chair or something where it's just like an object. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. But if it's like an old 1800s name that no one's touching anymore. Like if she said Sylvester, I'd go, or like...
Christine Schiefer: Wolfgang and you're like, where did you come up with that? Yeah.
Em Schulz: I'd be like, okay. It's definitely more demonic than I'm prepared for.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. This is not, this is unsettling already. Herne had dark hair and was black. Okay. I'm literally getting full-body chills from this. Already had dark hair and black eyes, though not entirely black. I more than two decades later, can picture exactly what he looked like. He would show up in my room, the kitchen, our sunroom, the backyard, and his favorite, the laundry room between our family room and the garage. I was the only one who could see him as far as I know. Herne had a habit of being an absolute asshole. [laughter] And I don't mean I was the asshole and blamed it on him. I mean, he would cause chaos and break things all the time. Dinner was knocked to the floor, a vase shattered and pieces went skittering all over the kitchen. My toys would go missing and later turn up, stuffed up our closed fireplace flume.
Em Schulz: No. Herne.
Christine Schiefer: We found... Herne, don't burn the toys again.
Em Schulz: Herne the burner.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that actually does kind of work.
Em Schulz: That's fun.
Em Schulz: We found that one out because... Oh my gosh. Okay.
Em Schulz: What? Tell me now.
Christine Schiefer: We found that one out because I bumped it at age three while pretending to be an officiant at my friend's wedding. And that was the pulpit. So in the fireplace, like bumped it by mistake, and literally toys and animal droppings and dirt came falling out of the flume of the fireplace onto carpet.
Em Schulz: Like what was his plan? Like? I like it, it's scary.
Em Schulz: He's not very, yeah, [laughter] it's scary. It is scary.
Em Schulz: It's scary for sure, but also like kind of scary, stupid. Like what [laughter] what was the point of that besides just hiding things?
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God. And she even says sadly, that the princess dress had to get thrown away. Maybe he just really wanted to ruin your wardrobe. I don't know.
Em Schulz: But maybe he just thought you were noisy and wanted to shut you up and it was all the noisy toys. You know?
Christine Schiefer: It feels like the thing where you're getting blamed for something you didn't do and your family doesn't believe you. And it's like.
Em Schulz: Mm-Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Creating a division, you know?
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: And while I was in the room, I was never the culprit though my family had a tough time believing me. Don't blame them. I mean, I don't, I feel like if my daughter was like, I don't know Herne did it, I'd be like, mm, okay. You know, I mean, I'd be like, tell me more. But also I'm skeptical.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah. I as much as I think I would believe my kid saying anything, if they, if a toy just went missing, I'd go, what the fuck?
Christine Schiefer: If they were the type to also hide a toy and go, I didn't do that.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like I don't believe you. But if all of them flew out of a flume and I know you didn't know how to do that. I'd go, oh, okay. So Herne's actually very fucking real.
Christine Schiefer: Oh Herne's here. Got it. Okay.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Anyway, she says, but it didn't stop there. Missing toys while three-year-old me's biggest tragedy was small potatoes. As I got a few months older, I vividly remember watching Herne hit my younger brother on multiple occasions creating welts.
Em Schulz: Oh shit.
Christine Schiefer: All over his arms and legs. Oh my God. And he couldn't even see it. What's happening? Ugh.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: I always got in massive trouble for doing it despite my protests that I had not done it. My brother was about a year old at the time.
Em Schulz: So he couldn't even say anything.
Christine Schiefer: Baby couldn't defend me either. A baby.
Em Schulz: So this this thing hated kids then, because it was trying to hurt the baby. He was trying to take your toys away.
Christine Schiefer: It's like ruining your life. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It was just trying to make you miserable also like, was this a child-sized imaginary friend or an adult?
Christine Schiefer: That's a great question. Maybe we'll get answers. I don't know though. And as far as I know, even he had no idea why he would end up with these bruises and welts on him. It all came to a head when I started sleepwalking and waking up screaming and covered in bruises.
Em Schulz: I beg your finest pardon?
Christine Schiefer: On multiple occasions, according to my dad, I walked into the living room where my parents were watching TV and started to scream [laughter] Oh my God. I would lose my ever-loving shit if my child did this. Wow. Okay. I would start taking my clothes off in the middle of the living room too, and every time I would have new bruises all over my legs and arms. The best part, I don't remember any of that. My dad has had to tell the story to me multiple times. Well, all those eventually built up for my dad. By the time I was five, my imaginary friend, the demon, was causing entirely too much trouble for our conservative Christian household and had been for about two full years. And my dad, who non coincidentally about eight years later, would quit his job to become a pastor. Thanks... Pastors.
Christine Schiefer: Decided he had had enough. He asked me if Herne was in the living room. I told him yes, and he threw open our front door. By this point, pretty much my entire family had told me to quit using Herne as an excuse for everything. And I'd begun to believe he was just imaginary. My dad made this huge show of yelling at Herne, telling him that he was hurting his family and he wouldn't tolerate it. He told him to get out and never come back. Even when I was five, I thought he was doing it just to make my imagination go rampant and play along with the story. I watched Herne walk out the door as my dad stared at me waiting for me to give him some sort of sign that Herne had left.
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: I remember giggling watching my dad as he shut the door and then boom, nothing else. I blacked out or something, passed out. Either way, I don't remember anything else of that. I never saw Herne again, though. Even my other two imaginary friends faded. I stopped sleepwalking. I still bruise like a peach and wake up with unexplained bruises. But we'll blame that on the lack of spatial awareness and the fact that somehow, me too, I walk into every piece of furniture in a five-foot radius. To this day, my dad tells that story. He didn't believe me for a very long time about Herne's existence, but his final straw was watching powerless as his kids kept getting hurt, and when Herne vanished as he was commanded. Well, my dad now swears up and down that he believed I did have a demon attached to me. Sorry for the long story. I figured y'all would get a kick out of it. Love from Kentucky. Hi, Christine and fam, at least at episode 282. Oh, so you're far enough that I've moved here. That's pretty far.
Em Schulz: I think so. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I guess I've been here for several years, but anyway. Wow. Thank you for the story that is, outta control.
Em Schulz: I mean honestly, I don't blame your dad for becoming a pastor after that. It's like, okay.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Um hmm. Wow. Well, if he's... If Herne's still walking around Kentucky and needs a new place [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Get out of here, Herne.
Em Schulz: That's wild. Also, I feel like I would love to know the levels of demons or dark energies out there, because sometimes you hear like, don't challenge it and tell it to leave for, like, if you do, it's gonna get worse. But then others, it's like, tell them like, this is your space and they have to respect your boundaries.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: And they just walk away. That's crazy.
Christine Schiefer: So there's like minor demons that are like less powerful that you're supposed to be able to tell to just get out. Then there's like the stronger ones that, Yeah. Like you said, can stay if they want to. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Wild. Well, and also it sounds like you're blacking out was like him, like detaching, like unplugging you from him. You know.
Christine Schiefer: Hey, I don't like this.
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: Herne. H-E-R-N-E. The hunter is a Celtic and German demon or phantom hunter from folklore mythology. [laughter] I just Googled it.
Em Schulz: I would love to know if that listener has ever looked up Herne to see if the pictures match the memory.
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah. Hey, hey, hey. Hey Cat, go look. I'm curious because there is a whole Wikipedia page on this motherfucker.
Em Schulz: Well, thank you Cat and Herne and also Cat's dad for saving you from Herne. And this next one is from someone who uses double pronouns.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: This is Kelli she/they and the subject line is Ouija Board Demon and Dismembered Neighbor! Great.
Christine Schiefer: Oh no. Oh no.
Em Schulz: My name is Kelli. I've been listening since 2019 and y'all helped me keep my sanity through cosmetology school. I was at the New Orleans show for here for the booze.
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: Wow. That's very sweet. I listened to the podcast religiously and even got my husband to listen with me when we run errands on Sundays.
Christine Schiefer: That's the goal. We're trying to be a Sabbath activity for the whole family to enjoy.
Em Schulz: I just want to just make all the men listen to us, whether or not they want to at first...
Christine Schiefer: Just do it.
Em Schulz: I have both paranormal and true crime stories so w get two for one in this.
Christine Schiefer: Man double pronouns. Double stories.
Em Schulz: Ah. Okay. I wonder if you're a Gemini Kelli. Okay, so here's the paranormal story. I have a lot of paranormal stories. I could honestly write my own book about them and to my mom, seeing orbs above my head when I was asleep as a small child to have an intelligent interaction at Myrtle's Plantation.
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: But the one I want to share with you today is about the Ouija Board demon. To start off, my mom had always been against Ouija boards. So naturally when I got my first apartment, that was my first Purchase.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] See.
Em Schulz: My sister came over to visit me one night and after dinner, we decided it was a good idea to use it. We started asking vague questions like, is anyone here with us? And can you tell us how many there are? And we eventually asked, what's your name? And the planchette started going super fast over the same two letters, which spelled Zuzu.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Em Schulz: Which is interesting 'cause I think there's Zo Zo and there's Pazuzu.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, there's multiple. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Em Schulz: We got freaked out. So we forced it closed, but not for long because we apparently weren't thinking. What was wrong with us? I have no idea. When we opened the board again, the planchette started to move in an infinity sign and wouldn't stop.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-mm.
Em Schulz: No, no, no, no, no.
Christine Schiefer: Been there.
Em Schulz: Even when we asked it a question, it just kept going. We forced it closed again and watched The Office to help us calm down and kind of forget what just happened. Later that night, my sister left to go home and I went to go lay down in bed. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard a loud bang come from the wall.
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: Where the only room on the other side was my living room.
Christine Schiefer: No. That's probably scary.
Em Schulz: For context, I live alone, and had one cat at the time I thought it was my cat until I looked over and she was laying in bed with me. Yikes.
Christine Schiefer: And probably like hackles up.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah. So I got up and peeked my head around the corner into the living room. I lived in a small one-bedroom apartment. So just around the corner of my bedroom door, you could see my whole apartment. I quickly locked eyes with a face that was hovering on my front door.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Wow. Okay. So this tells me not to go looking if I hear a strange noise.
Em Schulz: It was pitch black, darker than the room around it, and had red eyes.
Christine Schiefer: Ew.
Em Schulz: The eyes weren't glowing, but you could tell they were a deep red. I slammed my door closed and ran back to my bed.
Christine Schiefer: Herne, is that you?
Em Schulz: I know also, like I like that you're gonna run back to the bed of your apartment where you're alone. I would've flown outta that room.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, but how do you even go anywhere if it's facing the... If it's like...
Em Schulz: Oh that's true.
Christine Schiefer: Blocking you 'cause that's the only exit.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I don't know what the reason is.
Christine Schiefer: I don't know what I would do. I would probably call 911 and be like, "I'm sorry."
Em Schulz: I think in a panic I would kick out a window and like just keep it chugging, keep it moving. I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: I'd, yeah, I'd love to see that.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I called my best friend to come over and stay the night with me because I was so freaked out.
Christine Schiefer: No that's what I would do. That sounds right actually.
Em Schulz: I couldn't have walked out my bedroom without someone else there. So I have so many other stories about that apartment. I should have done an energy cleanse when I first moved in. Even to this day, I still have some weird paranormal encounters. So that's the paranormal story.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, weird. That's so scary. That like maybe it unlocked something that now you're still having experiences.
Em Schulz: To deal with.
Christine Schiefer: Because of that one Ouija board session, that's actually also really alarming.
Em Schulz: And also like the first time you use an Ouija board for it to do that is crazy.
Christine Schiefer: It's like we've been waiting for you to open this bad boy.
Em Schulz: It's like you unleash something on day one. That's insane.
Christine Schiefer: It's like ever since your mom told you not to, we knew you'd come to find us.
Em Schulz: Okay. Here's their true crime story.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, right. I forgot. It's a double whammy.
Em Schulz: To preface, this doesn't involve me or my family, but this happened with our neighbor and it shocked us all. This happened in the midst of COVID. I just had surgery for endometriosis, so I was in bed recovering. All of a sudden I noticed a lot of cop cars and a coroner van had passed the house.
Christine Schiefer: Oh Coroner?
Em Schulz: Coroner. Oh, coroner. Yes coroner van had passed the house. My mom and stepdad saw them too. So in true Christine fashion, they grabbed the dog and took him for a walk just to...
Christine Schiefer: Just to passively pretend like I...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Just to see what happened while they led him in the same direction as all the commotion.
Christine Schiefer: That sounds right.
Em Schulz: When they came back, they had the wildest story to tell. Apparently, one of our neighbors had a fight with his girlfriend that went south. They had gotten into an altercation of DV where he stabbed her to death.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God.
Em Schulz: He had called the cops on himself around 4 in the morning, and he had also sustained stabbing injuries that he admitted were self-inflicted during the altercation.
Christine Schiefer: Oh no.
Em Schulz: He was charged with second degree murder and promptly sent to jail. Rumors spread like wildfire in the town that he had dismembered her as well, but I haven't been able to find any articles to confirm that. But it was still scary to realize that that was right down the street from our house. Please don't read this out loud so my location isn't triangulated. Oh, okay. His name is blah, blah blah and his girlfriend is blah, blah, blah. I love the podcast. Hopefully, there's a New Orleans show for poor decisions. I would love to see you all again, love to the humans and fur babies.
Christine Schiefer: I also hope... That'd be the only like not poor decision we made all year.
Em Schulz: I know.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Wow. What a tale. I gotta say like, it is something shocking when in your neighborhood something happens. Even if you don't really know your neighbors. It's so jarring to feel like, oh, I know this. I'm safe in this community. Everything's fine. And then have something so alarming happen.
Em Schulz: Well then it also makes me feel really bad too because I'm then I'm like, oh man. Like what if I like, it's all the what ifs of like I could have heard or I could have called for help or... While I was just sitting here fucking around on TikTok. Someone literally got murdered right next to me and I didn't even notice. Then I just like to feel like a bad human even though like there's no reason for it. I would just get in my own head about like how you really are not that far from danger all the time. It's very, very eerie.
Christine Schiefer: It's not cool.
Em Schulz: Ugh. But thank you for the double story. The double feature. I appreciate that.
Christine Schiefer: I do too. All right. This is from, let's see, Casey, it says hello all. I'm Casey. She/her longtime listener team both.
Em Schulz: I love that.
Christine Schiefer: Though if I had a gun to my head, I would have to say milkshake.
Em Schulz: Oh, well.
Christine Schiefer: It sure doesn't sound like both to me.
Em Schulz: Let me get a gun.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Let me go get a gun. Yeah. I am so stoked for the Tarrytown show in September. Hey, it was Friday the 13th. We had the fucking greatest time. I have...
Em Schulz: Hang on a second. I'm really not trying to freak you out. Hello [laughter] I swear to God, I'm not kidding. I swear to God like three times now. I've heard a sound.
Christine Schiefer: What sound?
Em Schulz: Like a sound like I don't know. I'm like I am for sure home alone.
Christine Schiefer: I remember I manifested. I said I wanna see you bust out a window.
Em Schulz: I swear I keep ignoring it. And that was like, that was...
Christine Schiefer: Do this, I do this. I put one headphone on and then you can like really hear.
Em Schulz: Okay, you're right.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Now I'm just gonna watch you while I read and it's just in case something goes awry.
Em Schulz: Let me just lock the door. Hang on. I'm like freaking out. Let me just lock the door.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, go lock the door. Wow, what a journey.
Em Schulz: Happy October everybody.
Christine Schiefer: What a journey.
Em Schulz: Also, Jack, please don't put my address in the show.
Christine Schiefer: Don't worry. I handled it.
Em Schulz: Okay. Okay, keep going. Sorry.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Sorry Casey. That your whole story is gonna be punctuated by like jump scares. Okay.
Em Schulz: No, you could start over if you want. That's fine.
Christine Schiefer: No, I wanted you to have the experience of if I had a gun to my head.
Em Schulz: Oh. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: I would just say milkshake. I have many a paranormal story, but this one in particular sticks out. I've been on a good handful of ghost hunts with friends and am in the mortuary business. So when a friend of mine invited me to a ghost hunt at a former funeral home, I jumped at the chance. She claimed to have always had experienced good vibes there. So I went in not expecting anything crazy. The owner had filled a storage closet with all sorts of paraphernalia, demonic idols, books, dolls, et cetera. And at some point I volunteered to go in. Not long afterwards, I started to experience sharp stomach pains and felt as though I'd entered a trance-like state almost as though I were lucid dreaming, but with.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: Limited control over my own body. Ew. I only have a vague recollection of everything afterward. I do remember overhearing one of my friends saying that my eyes looked mean and feeling as though my response was not entirely my own, as if something else was controlling what I said and how I reacted.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: That was all they needed to get me out of dodge like yesterday. Mind you, I'd gone into the closet laughing and joking with my friends having a great time. When my friends pulled me out, I felt utterly sapped as though all my energy had been drained from me, depressed and confused. It took about 20 minutes for me to start feeling back to normal, and I even felt off the next day. Attached is a photo taken shortly before this happened? Maybe it can be debunked, but the blur over my face feels much more sinister given my experience.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: If it was indeed a possession, zero out of 10 recommended. Take care. Protect your energy until I see you in September. Bottoms up Casey. Holy shit. I'm opening this picture. Oh, no. Unavailable.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Tell me We saved it.
Em Schulz: Maybe It's for the best.
Christine Schiefer: Maybe.
Em Schulz: Maybe It's for the best.
Christine Schiefer: Wait, I'm zooming in.
Em Schulz: Of Course.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. But the whole thing is blurry, so it's hard to see. But.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: I don't like this. It's scaring me a little bit. It's scaring me 'cause she looks so happy and happy go lucky. And the fact that this happened right beforehand, it's like somebody like targeted you, I guess. Ugh, I don't like it.
Em Schulz: No thanks.
Christine Schiefer: No, Thanks.
Em Schulz: Thank you for that.
Christine Schiefer: But also, but also, thanks. No, thanks. But also thanks [laughter]
Em Schulz: No thank you for, for writing in, but also, yeah, the idea of someone's like behavior or demeanor changing, but then also their eyes like, are you fucking kidding me? Like the.
Christine Schiefer: Like to be, like, that's not your face. You don't talk that way. You don't look that way. Oof.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It really... It's like someone is really like doing the plankton inside SpongeBob's brain thing.
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: Forget it.
Christine Schiefer: Very uncanny valley. I don't enjoy it.
Em Schulz: Well, we've got one more story for October, unless we have a surprise seventh and someone walks into my room.
Christine Schiefer: I don't think that could be right 'cause you started, so that means you're doing odd numbers.
Em Schulz: Oh yes. Okay. So I have one left then and then you've got one left. And then maybe we've got a surprise if someone breaks into this house. [laughter] So there's one from me. This is from Hilary who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is My dad's cousin caught her dead son on Polaroid. So I guess he's already passed and got a ghost.
Christine Schiefer: Whoa. Okay.
Em Schulz: Hello. All involved with the [laughter] Sorry, this really startled me. Hello, All involved with the creation and daily runnings of And that's why we drink.
Christine Schiefer: Whoa. These intros. You think you've seen them all.
Em Schulz: It's like, so I'm not a a CEO. I'm a CDROATWWD.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I am still a bit behind the times. I just found your podcast not too long ago in June, 2024. Wow.
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: You've got a while until you hear this one, I guess. Uh, and have been listening to it nonstop. I even listened to the... I listened to you guys the entire drive from Illinois to Denver there and back. Thanks for keeping me awake and.
Christine Schiefer: You're so welcome.
Em Schulz: Onto My story. My story is short, but still kind of creepy. This story has been told to my brother and I by my dad several times. This happened in the mid '60s. A little backstory. My dad's cousin had a son named Timmy who had Hydrocephaly.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, Yeah.
Em Schulz: Did I say that right?
Christine Schiefer: I Think so.
Em Schulz: He was delayed cognitively and physically, and unfortunately didn't live much through childhood. My dad never specified his age, but said he was young and I would guess less than 10 when Timmy died. Timmy, despite his age, was cognitively much younger. And my dad said that Timmy was known to always have his favorite toy hammer. He never went anywhere without his toy hammer. And it was always with him when he would play. When Timmy passed away, they buried him with his hammer. A few years after his death on Halloween, my dad and his sister went over to their cousin's house. Back in the day, you could only take a certain number of photos per cartridge of film. Yes, I recall.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: We're not that, I mean, may Oh wait, but if they're listening to 2070, we probably sound like fucking babies. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Oh. Right, right, right. Yes. I remember.
Christine Schiefer: We're old like, you don't worry. [laughter]
Em Schulz: It hurts. But it also is also complimentary that you thought you had to tell us. So.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it is. It's like I'm offended, but also very pleased.
Em Schulz: Like, but keep going. You know.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Anyway, so she had a new Polaroid camera hoping everyone knows what that is. Oh my God. What is that going on? Yes. Okay. She had a new Polaroid.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, now they're back, like now they're hip again. You know.
Em Schulz: See that's what you have to do. You have to just, Hilary, you just have to wait like.
Christine Schiefer: Like cling on.
Em Schulz: About 10 years.
Christine Schiefer: To all your old stuff.
Em Schulz: And then, and then write to us and it'll be trendy again. So you don't have to.
Christine Schiefer: It'll be cool again.
Em Schulz: Explain it all. She had a new Polaroid camera and she wanted to finish out her Polaroid cartridge and she had one shot left. She asked my dad to stand in front of the garage and she would take a picture of him.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Like, Just fucking get in front of the garage. I need to use up this last picture.
Em Schulz: Exactly. Look good. Don't waste this for me.
Christine Schiefer: That's such sibling energy. Just like, stand there for a minute.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: He smiled. She snapped the picture and they shook the image to get it to develop. They were stunned to find that instead of my dad, instead of my dad in front of the garage, it was an image of her son Timmy, wearing the outfit they buried him in that they had bought specifically for his burial. His arms crossed over his chest holding his hammer. So like An exact.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God.
Em Schulz: An exact shot of him buried.
Christine Schiefer: From The grave. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Em Schulz: They have no explanation for this. As his cousin had not photographed Timmy at the funeral.
Em Schulz: It was still a photo of the garage, but it wasn't my dad. It was Timmy as he looked when he was buried.
Christine Schiefer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa.
Em Schulz: To this day, I have not seen the photo, but I have been told it's still around. I hope that this spooked you as much as it's always spooked me as a kid. Hopefully I will be all caught up soon, still in the 200s best wishes and happy haunts. Hilary.
Christine Schiefer: Whoa. I have Like goosebumps about that. I, wow. I can't believe Hilary, I would've torn my family's stuff apart to find that. I'm glad that you're.
Em Schulz: There's literally no way that I more wouldn't have snooped through everything.
Christine Schiefer: You have more, yeah. You have a lot more like control and discipline than I do.
Em Schulz: Anytime I'm at a family member's house and they're like, I'm like so obsessed with like ancestry asking about my great-grandparents I never got to meet. Anytime one of them says like, oh, I have, so I have that.
Christine Schiefer: I'm like, give me.
Em Schulz: Kind of floating around.
Christine Schiefer: Give me.
Em Schulz: I'm like, I'll find it tonight. Don't fucking worry. Like I'll climb through the rafters of your attic.
Christine Schiefer: You relax. I'll find the box.
Em Schulz: Like I won't do many things, but if you tell me there's a hint of what my family was like that I never got to meet, I'll do pretty much anything.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. You and I are very similar in that way Em. I don't know why, but you and I have that in common and it seems like a lot of people aren't as psychotically obsessed as we are.
Em Schulz: I don't know why. I love, like, I'm like so attached to like, the sentiment of it or like the stories I got.
Christine Schiefer: And I like, talk to my parents and they're like, eh, and I'm like, what's wrong with you people?
Em Schulz: The worst is when you have a family member who doesn't care as much as you, but also won't relinquish.
Christine Schiefer: That they have the information.
Em Schulz: They have the things.
Christine Schiefer: And they don't care to share it. Oh. I'm Like, who do you think you are.
Em Schulz: I'm like, if you don't give a shit. It's Like you clearly give a shit or you just like asserting dominance in weird ways. It's, it's gotta be one of the two. Because if you don't care and you know I do, either tell me the information or give me the thing and I'll hold onto it and cherish it. Or just don't fucking say anything. Like you're just, what a weird tease. Like one of my aunts has a bunch of recipes from the family and was like.
Christine Schiefer: And that's not even like information you have to keep private. Like it's, that's a...
Em Schulz: Well no, 'cause I was like, oh, well can I, can I take pictures of it so I can have them too? And then like, and it just like has yet to happen for some reason.
Christine Schiefer: And that's what I'm saying. It's like recipes. It's not like, oh, they're like private materials or like something that she doesn't want, like leaked. You know, it's like recipes.
Em Schulz: It just takes a... I do a lot of asking forgiveness and not permission when it comes to finding out that there's an an heirloom of sorts because if there's a copy of it or if I can take a picture on my phone, I'm gonna do it. Like, I'm not gonna disturb your collection of it, but like, let me fucking have, let me know it exists.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-Hmm. I feel the same.
Em Schulz: And I feel like even last year, my mom's Christmas present was I scanned every picture she's ever had.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, We heard [laughter]
Em Schulz: It was forever. But like, the way that that would've not fucking happened if I asked to do it. I just had to do it and then just.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, She wouldn't have handed over the photos, yeah.
Em Schulz: She would've never handed over half of the images I now have like, at the press of a button on my phone and like, they're all scanned. They're all... They all look pretty. They're all like organized. I know exactly where all of the, every single picture from our family since the 1880s, I now have on my phone in perfect condition. Why wouldn't you give that up? Why would you make that such a fuss? So I have family members all across the board who are like that and.
Christine Schiefer: I think that's a very extended family thing like 'cause I.
Em Schulz: Eventually.
Christine Schiefer: I see that in a lot of.
Em Schulz: Especially 'cause they're getting older. I don't think they understand the ability to digitally share things. And so when they hear, I want the recipes, for example, they think that means you no longer have the recipes, you know, and sort of like.
Christine Schiefer: Well, but also, I think part of it is more of a fear of like, don't just go posting this on the internet. You know?
Em Schulz: Oh. I didn't even I think about that.
Christine Schiefer: 'Cause I think a lot of people, at least in my family, a lot of it is like a fear that you would share it like outside of the family or post about it or like.
Em Schulz: No, I don't think that's it for my family. I think it's like people, like they don't, they're afraid of never seeing it again. 'cause they don't know if they'll see it. It's very, I think they're just, a lot of my family is not like in tune with like tech, so.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, Interesting.
Em Schulz: But yeah, so, and there's, there's a few family members where I have to just kind of do what I gotta do and then, and then leave everything as if it was untouched and they never know. And then like I, and that's just how it has to go sometimes.
Christine Schiefer: Wow. You heard it here first folks.
Em Schulz: You heard it here first. I have stolen information digitally. But you still have it, so don't complain. There it is.
Christine Schiefer: I have stolen information digitally sounds a lot scarier than what you're actually saying, but Okay.
Em Schulz: I Think that's what they hear when I say, can I have grandma's recipes and they're like, you're gonna steal my information digitally. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: But that's what I mean. There's this fear of the internet, like, where are you gonna put it? Where, why is it being leaked? You know? And it's like, that's not, no. Okay. Hello, this is from Jacky. This is called, Hello And that's why we drink crew and everyone in between. My name is Jacky G and I have a wild... Isn't that your grandma's name?
Em Schulz: Jacky G is, and that's a grandma by the way who gives me shit when I ask for it.
Christine Schiefer: I know, I know. That's why I even mentioned it. 'cause I was like, I know that's, yeah.
Em Schulz: You Know what Jacky G just gave me? She just gave me the oldest heirloom that the family has.
Christine Schiefer: What is it?
Em Schulz: Which is a... It's in my closet right now. It's a vase that my great great grandma brought over from Russia.
Christine Schiefer: Whoa.
Em Schulz: Yep. And she hid it under.
Christine Schiefer: Brought here.
Em Schulz: Brought right here. Brought to the states. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Whoa.
Em Schulz: It's like one of the only things that she brought with her. And she was pregnant with my great grandma at the time. And so she hid it under her pregnant belly so nobody knew that she had it.
Christine Schiefer: I was gonna say, how did she keep ahold of it? That's amazing.
Em Schulz: Yep. And I got it now.
Christine Schiefer: See, It's like why not share these stories? I don't understand. I think it's, you're right. There's like a holding onto it that people feel power in.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I think my grandma was like, I would rather, while I'm still here and like, and in control of this thing, I would rather be in control of who it goes to and you care the most. So.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. And tell you the story of it. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Anyway. Jacky G what a great way to end this episode for Spooky season.
Christine Schiefer: I know this is perfect. Okay. Hello. And that's why we drink crew and everyone in between. Love it. My name is Jacky G and I have a wild story for you. Starting off, I love y'all. That's all. And yes, you can say my name. Well, good thing 'cause I already did multiple times.
Em Schulz: Thanks Jacky G.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: So when I was listening to the April Fool's Listener Tales and I got to Eva's fake story, I could have sworn that would be one of the real stories because listen, when I was living in a small town in central Florida, I was living in a neighborhood just like the one Eva described. All the houses were pretty much small. One story homes with screened in porches. All the streets of this neighborhood dead ended at a lake. Like each street was off a main road, but all the streets dead end at this one lake. So the house I'm about to describe or that Eva described already wasn't on my street, but on the neighboring street. The only way you knew about this house was if you went down the street and literally saw it with your own eyes.
Christine Schiefer: Like you could not see this house from the main road that everyone passed. A lot of the neighbors were retired old people who had lived there for many, many years and probably inherited their homes. So not a lot of activity around this neighborhood. But in between all these houses and a lot of the palm trees and trees sat a super old Victorian house. Like this house was straight out of a Tim Burton movie. It was a light blue two story home with massive peaks on the roof. This house stood on at least an acre lot at the end of the street and had one of those U-shaped driveways. It had this super tall tower that overlooked the lake, and the house had also had at least 50 windows or more. So the inside was pretty much visible. The front door had a big window as well, and the porch was huge. I only experienced this house one time on a Halloween night, and it was completely covered with Halloween decorations, like completely covered. Every window had a lantern of some sort, and the front porch was covered with animatronic Halloween characters. I could see the inside of the house. And the inside of the home was also covered with Halloween decor. That night, It was me and my husband and my daughter, and we were the only ones going around trick or treating. Like there was literally a few other, because everyone's like senior citizens.
Em Schulz: I know. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Like there was literally a few other trick or treating, which was weird, but whatever. So when we approached this house, we were alone. And as we were walking up to this Victorian house completely covered with Halloween decorations, my daughter out of nowhere was too scared to go up to ring the doorbell. Like she was terrified all of a sudden. Maybe it was a big animatronic character who went off, or all the other hundred of Halloween decorations. I'm not sure. I thought the house fit the theme of the night, but my daughter was not having it. I was pretty much dragging her onto the porch because I wanted to see inside LOL, but I was trying to tell her like, you're not going to get candy, just come ring the doorbell. But she was so scared. The owner of the home heard us outside trying to ring the bell. So he came out and greeted us and gave my daughter some candy. Nothing weird happened and we went on with our night. I snapped a picture as we were walking back up the street. It's not the best picture, but I will attach it. We were making our way back to our house when we decided to stop at one more house, which was one of our neighbor's houses, they invited us in for a chat and the topic of the Victorian house got brought up.
Em Schulz: Mm-Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: And they told us an almost familiar story. They said that there's been a lot of talk about this house, like weird stuff happening inside the home, and a woman in white who is seen near the lake and in the windows of the home. Supposedly there was once a family who lived here and they had a young daughter who was sad or heartbroken of some sort that she walked into the lake and drowned. There's different stories about her. Some say she was sad and did this intentionally or that they were swimming out there and she drowned. I'm not sure, but it is certain that people have seen her around the lake and in the house. Well, the story they told us was that one time this FedEx guy, a mailman, showed up to the house to deliver a package. Do you remember Eva's like fake story?
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, so this is not all ringing a bell. Remember April Fools? We had to determine which of.
Em Schulz: Yes.
Christine Schiefer: The stories was fake.
Em Schulz: Yes. I just don't remember this, the story specifically.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay. It's very, it's, well, I guess I'm.
Em Schulz: Very similar.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Very quite similar.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. He rang the doorbell and no one was coming to the door. So he said it seemed like no one was home. He decided to leave the package near the door. As he turned to grab the box, and it was a big box, The door opened. He said there was a girl with a white nightgown, and he said to him that he could just place the box inside so no one would take it. Him seeing that it was just a girl, he obliged and carried the box inside, just placing it near the front door. He said his goodbyes and have a nice day and carried on, not thinking anything strange. Later on that day, he got called into his manager's office because there was a complaint on him. The complaint stated that the FedEx guy let himself into their home and placed the box inside of the home when there was nobody home.
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: That's upsetting.
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: He took The time to explain the situation and the manager not really believing him, Let him call the homeowner and to explain what happened and to apologize for the misunderstanding. As he is talking to the homeowner, explaining how the door just opened and how the girl he clearly saw let him in to place the box inside the homeowner stops him and apologizes for the complaint and explains that this ghost girl likes to accept parcels and mess with visitors that come to the house.
Em Schulz: I like How so are they still complaining even though like, this has happened to multiple posts masters.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I gonna say, wouldn't you know, by now what's going on? Like.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It sounds like.
Christine Schiefer: The FedEx Guy's fault.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Why are you apologizing when clearly this is not your first.
Christine Schiefer: That is crazy. That is crazy.
Em Schulz: That's trippy. Super trippy.
Christine Schiefer: I wonder if this is the first packet, like maybe.
Em Schulz: Maybe the first in a while or maybe the first time it's escalated and it's like, through the door.
Christine Schiefer: It's like gotten to that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'cause like if it's locked, you'd be like, how would you have gotten inside that's such an invasion of privacy? You know?
Em Schulz: I feel like as soon as he said, oh, the little girl, and they went, I'm so sorry. Nevermind.
Christine Schiefer: Stop, stop, stop, stop. Right There. No, no need to apologize. [laughter]
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: Wow. What a big misunderstanding. Yikes. Da da da da da. So when I say that Eva's story was almost spot on, I could have bet money on Eva's fake story. I'm like, probably thinking someone else in the neighborhood submitted it, you know?
Em Schulz: Yeah, yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my gosh. I moved away and now living in Oklahoma, but that house still lives rent free in my mind. I love y'all and I've been listening since 2018. Keep up the good work. Hope to see you one day. Much love Jacky G. Wow.
Em Schulz: Wow. Well done. Jacky G that sounds.
Christine Schiefer: Well Done, Eva. And then Jacky G [laughter]
Em Schulz: I wonder if, if that little girl Ghost has like...
Christine Schiefer: A shopping addiction, oh.
Em Schulz: One or like, I wonder if she judges your shopping addiction.
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: And also I wonder if let's say she doesn't like somebody, do you think she makes sure that that mail doesn't get sent?
Christine Schiefer: Well, it said, She likes to take parcels and I'm like, like when she likes or when she's like, that's ugly, you know. Is it like she hides them if they, if they're not a good fit? Or does she like take them if she's like, this would look, this nightgown would look great on me.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I wonder if she, like, if there's one guy who like, who like one mailman in the area that she thinks is like, kind of cute and.
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah. Maybe it's a compliment.
Em Schulz: 'cause maybe she's like only taking parcels from ones that she wants to interact with.
Christine Schiefer: She's like up in her tower watching she sees the FedEx. She's like let me see who it is.
Em Schulz: Is that a cutie pie.
Christine Schiefer: Is it Ben?
Em Schulz: No, it's not.
Christine Schiefer: Damn it.
Em Schulz: And I wonder why.
Christine Schiefer: I gotta buy another nightgown.
Em Schulz: I wonder if it's just parcels, like, if she's like looking for like, like a gift for herself or like now with the advent of like, DoorDash, like is it all delivery people?
Christine Schiefer: Like Pat tie [laughter],
Em Schulz: You know what I mean? Like, or like Instacart. What if someone goes to Target and brings something from Target?
Christine Schiefer: All the Apples are gone. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Or I mean, target even has toys. Like what if it's like, how do we know? Like where.
Christine Schiefer: Now that's.
Em Schulz: Where does the buck stop?
Christine Schiefer: Talk About a racket. She could be just.
Em Schulz: What If there's a racket that she, she wants to. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Maybe she wants to play paddle tennis. I don't know. [laughter],
Em Schulz: Well, thank you Jacky G. Thank you everyone for your submissions and I hope everyone has a spooky Halloween, spooky October in general.
Christine Schiefer: It sounds Like you already are Em, and I'm a little worried for you, but.
Em Schulz: Something's going on. I don't know what it is. I'm really hoping it was a squeak of my chair or something. And.
Christine Schiefer: Me too.
Em Schulz: I don't need to start. I know I talked a little trash about this house earlier, but like, no need to like get about it ghosts.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Em didn't mean it. I swear.
Em Schulz: You know, I haven't had anything haunted happen until, this is my first day here, my first full day here where Eva brought over polaroids from all of our investigations. Now, this.
Christine Schiefer: Polaroids, you say?
Em Schulz: Mm-Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: What's that?
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Well, maybe that had something to do with it. I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: Ew, maybe it did.
Em Schulz: Anyway, thank you everyone for your spooky stories. I hope everyone has a great October and a Happy Halloween. A happy Salen.
Christine Schiefer: Happy Leona's Birthday.
Em Schulz: Happy Leona's birthday.
Christine Schiefer: Happy Allison's birthday.
Em Schulz: And happy Allison's birthday. Anyone else? Everyone whose birthday... If you're a Libra, happy birthday. If you're a Scorpio, I don't wanna talk to you.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: If you're Herne, please stay far away from me.
Em Schulz: Please evacuate the premises. And yeah, we'll see you, we'll see you with more stories for...
Christine Schiefer: We'll see you the day after Halloween. I'll, we'll see you on.
Em Schulz: When we sing our Thanksgiving song.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, All Hallows' Eve, or day after All Hallows' Eve, wait.
Em Schulz: And.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: That's.
Em Schulz: Why.
Christine Schiefer: We.
Christine Schiefer: Drink.