[intro music]
[vocalization]
Em Schulz: It is your birthday. And that means it's my birthday.
Christine Schiefer: Happy birthday.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: It's your birthday. Happy, happy birthday to you. Go, Em!
Em Schulz: Oh, oh. How about happy...
Christine Schiefer: Gilmore?
Em Schulz: No, birthday. To...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, no. I... No, we already have a... A call and response, we can't add another laggy online call and response. I refuse. It's hard enough... It's...
Em Schulz: It's wild you just don't wanna have fun. That's kinda crazy. You sound like a 33-year-old.
Christine Schiefer: I... I don't know how many times I have to tell you that.
Em Schulz: Alright. Well, that's fine.
Christine Schiefer: That I'm... That I'm...
Em Schulz: I'll in... I'll celebrate myself over here. That's fine.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Uh. How does it feel to be so close to 33?
Christine Schiefer: [chuckle] You know, I just have to remind myself, Taylor Swift is a year older than me and it makes me feel better. So how does it feel to be you?
Em Schulz: That's true.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Uh, yeah. For me, I'm, umm, struggling because I don't even think I ever once said this year, oh, I'm 31. And so to say 32, I feel like, oh, I haven't even...
Christine Schiefer: You just skipped.
Em Schulz: Done the 31 thing yet.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Also, 32 feels like an actual adult. Like I'm... And I'm sitting here, like, in my like, troll hole, so.
Christine Schiefer: I feel like you're gonna say that every year though.
Em Schulz: I know, like but the further away I get from uh, from teen and college kids' approval, the, the more it hurts, I'm just like, oh...
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah, that part, I think that ship has sailed. Uh, yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Anyway that's, that's how I feel. I think it's just, like, the realization of like, oh, I am not invincible and I'm...
Christine Schiefer: Everybody dies.
Em Schulz: Not as cool as I thought it was. But whatever. Ha! And because of that, I'm gonna eat a lot of cake.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: And not only that, I'm gonna eat... Not just a lot of cake, I'm gonna eat, umm specifically, Fudgie the Whale cake.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, yummy.
Em Schulz: And what else am I gonna do?
Christine Schiefer: Good choice.
Em Schulz: Hmmm. Hmmm...
Christine Schiefer: Hmmm...
Em Schulz: I'm going to eat strawberries with whipped cream.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: I'm going to eat s'mores...
Christine Schiefer: Mm.
Em Schulz: And I'm going to have at least one cup of dirt, with the little gummy worms. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Where are you going to make the s'mores?
Em Schulz: Probably over my... My stove.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. I'm just wondering, I'm not judging. I'm just curious, 'cause I think I would also like to have a s'more.
Em Schulz: It's... I love a good s'more. A birthday s'more?
Christine Schiefer: Me too.
Em Schulz: Forget about it!
Christine Schiefer: Oh!
Em Schulz: So and then umm, I'm gonna buy myself presents...
Christine Schiefer: Pfft! [laughter]
Em Schulz: And I'm going to make people take me out to dinner. And so far, that's all I've got. Oh and I'm gonna sleep a lot. What are you gonna do?
Christine Schiefer: It doesn't sound like you're old or whatever, old and boring, like you suggested earlier. It sounds like you're still an adolescent, so don't worry, you, you're, you're young at heart.
Em Schulz: I mean, the dream is that I would have a house party, but I don't think anyone wants to do that anymore, so...
Christine Schiefer: I do. [laughter] Maybe we're the only ones.
Em Schulz: Maybe. What are you gonna do?
Christine Schiefer: I would love to do a house party. Umm. I don't know. We talked about this a little on Patreon, but I feel like I'm just kind of vibing this year, like, I feel like I've... This is so lame and cliche, whatever, I don't even know, not cliche, just very like dorky, but I feel like I've done a lot of growth this year already, like, I've been really working on myself, and I, I sort of think I'm kind of just happy with whatever happens. I'm just like, very content right now, so I'm... I'm kind of excited to just see what happens. And usually, I'm like very, you know, into planning it, but I think this year, I'm just gonna be like, yeah, just like as long as we go eat some good food, I'm gonna be happy.
Em Schulz: That's nice.
Christine Schiefer: And I'll probably buy myself lots of presents. Don't get me wrong, and, and I will expect presents from other people, but as far as the event...
Em Schulz: I do.
Christine Schiefer: I think I just kinda wanna eat and like, chill.
Em Schulz: What do you think you... Leona's gonna get you for your birthday?
Christine Schiefer: Umm probably something that's actually for her, which is fine, 'cause I feel like that's how it goes. Umm, although Blaise is very good at gift giving, and he's very good at picking out things that are like, very specific to you, like he and Leona found like a crocodile card for me at, from the Cincinnati Zoo and like, wrote a cute note on it.
Em Schulz: Mm.
Christine Schiefer: Like they're very umm, intentional. So I save all the little trinkets, and she's at that age where she loves to like make cards and draw pictures for people. Umm...
Em Schulz: Precious.
Christine Schiefer: Even though they just look like scribbles 'cause they are, but it still uh, you know, it still touches the heart.
Em Schulz: Mm, mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: But I don't know. I feel like Blaise gets so frustrated, 'cause I'm like that person who buys things that I want. Like...
Em Schulz: Oh Allison ha... Has that too...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. It's like, I already bought it. My dad's that way...
Em Schulz: 'Cause if I... If I see something for, like, 20 bucks, I'm gonna be like, well that's mine now.
Christine Schiefer: That's mine.
Em Schulz: So umm, yeah. And then Allison's like, what do you want? And I'm like, I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: I'm actually the opposite...
Em Schulz: I feel like...
Christine Schiefer: If it's a big thing, I'll like buy it, I'll like convince myself to buy it. The littler things are the ones I hold off on, weirdly.
Em Schulz: Maybe that's the thing I should do because there's no way...
Christine Schiefer: I don't think so. I wouldn't recommend it... [laughter]
Em Schulz: There's no way Allison would buy anything expensive for me because...
Christine Schiefer: Oh!
Em Schulz: Like, between the two... Between the two of us, I would definitely be the one who makes a big purchase but Allison will always justify not making a big purchase, so...
Christine Schiefer: Right. So, you're not...
Em Schulz: The fact that that's all that I leave her with is pretty cool. Umm.
Christine Schiefer: You've got to do that yourself. Right. Right. Right. And I would buy... I would step in and buy you something big, but I'm already doing that for myself and everyone, I feel like.
Em Schulz: Yeah, you're... You're busy with you...
Christine Schiefer: And my husband.
Em Schulz: I understand...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, so...
Em Schulz: That's okay.
Christine Schiefer: And Leona, I just... You know, I just love a big purchase. That's not good, it's not healthy. I'm sorry. But it's who I am. Okay?
Em Schulz: Understood. Yeah. I get it. I... Let's be unhealthy together. That's our birthday present to each other.
Christine Schiefer: It's my birthday. We can do whatever we want. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Let's be chaotic. I do miss doing like birthday episodes with you though. Remember in the beginning when we would like open the presents with, with everybody...
Christine Schiefer: We'd have like, a big to-do. Yeah. And I think umm... Yeah, we would do present openings for Patreon, it was a whole thing. I don't know if anyone ever watched those, but we had a lot of fun. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I remember having so much fun. I wanna do that again, so. I, I...
Christine Schiefer: I'd love to do that again. Maybe this year, we do... We plan a birthday, uh... A birthday meet-up for whenever we see each other. We'll see each other in June, right? So maybe we do a June meet-up.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I also wanted to take you into that crawl space in my attic. So I feel like we...
Em Schulz: Let's open it in the crawl space.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Now we're talking. Let's do it.
Em Schulz: Perfect. Excellent. Great.
Christine Schiefer: Excellent. Now, we have plans. See, this is what happens when you just vibe, the plans come to you.
Em Schulz: Well, uh, speaking of vibing, the... Welcome everybody who chose to sit down...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, you're still here. Welcome.
Em Schulz: And listen to this episode... [laughter] I did forget we were reco-recording for a second.
Christine Schiefer: Me too! [laughter]
Em Schulz: But if this is your first time listening to one of our Listeners episodes, welcome. This is where we read your encounters to the masses.
Christine Schiefer: Mm.
Em Schulz: And if you would like to send in your own personal true crime and/or true... And/or paranormal story, you can do that at our website, andthatswhywedrink.com, and uh Eva has collected some of the, some of your stories to tell us, or for us to read out loud, but I think there was supposed to be birthday theme this time around, it, it didn't...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: Work out, so maybe next month will be the birthday theme. I, I don't know how it's gonna...
Christine Schiefer: No. She said next year.
Em Schulz: Oh, thanks, Eva.
Christine Schiefer: Don't get your... Don't get your hopes up.
Em Schulz: [laughter] Umm, but apparently, these will... These are still a smattering of good ones. They just maybe don't have a theme.
Christine Schiefer: She said they're still a present. She said, it's not a good present, but it is a present. And to that I say, I'll take it.
Em Schulz: I think she told, uh she told me to do the first email, to do the, or the first story...
Christine Schiefer: Okay. I can't open it.
Em Schulz: Oh, really?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it just keeps saying, "no preview available."
Em Schulz: Yuck, hang on, let me send it, just... Me a little texty...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah...
Em Schulz: A little texty poo...
Christine Schiefer: It like just is a blank screen, which is so weird, it's like I've never seen that before.
Em Schulz: Well, I guess that means I'm destined to do the first story, yeah?
Christine Schiefer: Oh phew! That one worked. Okay.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Thank you.
Em Schulz: I'll go. You sit back and relax, birthday girl. Here we go.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Aw! Oh I love that we get to like, just trade off the crown.
Em Schulz: Aaah! I love sharing a birthday with you.
Christine Schiefer: Your attitude is the best.
Em Schulz: Most people are like, isn't that awful? And I'm like, that's literally... We just...
Christine Schiefer: Especially for us...
Em Schulz: Encourage the worst at...
Christine Schiefer: Like two very self-involved people... Like you'd think that would be really hard, but it's like, no. We just feed on it. Like we feed each other like...
Em Schulz: Yeah, 'cause...
Christine Schiefer: It would just like enable it.
Em Schulz: If I start feeling guilty, I'm like, maybe I shouldn't make this purchase. Christine's like, do it or we can't be friends anymore. And I'm like okay.
Christine Schiefer: I feel like... Don't you dare. It's my birthday too, Em. You buy that expensive thing.
Em Schulz: Yeah. For my birthday... You buy it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: It's very toxic. I love it.
Em Schulz: This is uh... This is from someone named Breah Blue, and that is her real name. Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Cute.
Em Schulz: Uh it says, "Hello, my name is Breah Blue, she/her." Thank you for normalizing pronouns. "And I have been listening to you guys for years now. I am born... I'm born, raised and still live in Springfield, Illinois. Abe Lincoln represent... " I never even read the subject line... [gasp] Wow. Shh.
Christine Schiefer: What? You never even read it to yourself yet?
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: What is it?
Em Schulz: I, I, I... It was...
Christine Schiefer: That's the biggest part of the page, isn't it?
Em Schulz: It was hidden away. No. It was scrolled up, so I didn't even notice...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: And I was like, isn't there something else I say beforehand? It was the subject line, and I see why Eva wanted me to do this one first. Okay. My Mom and Sister Met the Duggars.
Christine Schiefer: Aah! [laughter] So this is... This is... Okay. Eva was underselling it. This is a birthday present for you, for sure.
Em Schulz: Is it... Is it spooky or a true crime? I don't understand, but...
Christine Schiefer: Well, I mean, I think just the Duggars being involved is probably the true crime part. No offense, but...
Em Schulz: I am very excited. Do you see me blushing? Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yes. I literally... I wish Eva could see this. She's not here today. Man, she knows you so well.
Em Schulz: Bre... Breah Blue says, "Thank you for sharing your fabulous voices, humor and personality, uh you guys have helped me through a lot, and I will always be grateful." It's very sweet of you. Now, I'm, I'm here for the Duggars story. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Em's like, I like you now, Breah. You've passed the test.
Em Schulz: [chuckle] I just got done... "I just got done listening to the episode where Christine talks about the Duggars," which by the way, I think was the birthday episode last year.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that was. Yes, because... Yes. You're so right, I was like, I was like, Saoirse, you and I need a plan, and this has to happen. And then like poor Saoirse sent the notes to me in like the first week of May like, okay, here's the first draft. I was like, oh, this is fine, don't... Like, don't worry. I'm not gonna make you do a whole research project. This is enough, but yes, so I took that very seriously, your birthday gift.
Em Schulz: Uh, "I just got done listening to the episode where Christine talks about the Duggars. I grew up watching the show as my mom is a devout Christian and used to idolize Michelle Duggar." Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Mm.
Em Schulz: "I think it's important to mention how deeply my mom regrets this now." Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Aw.
Em Schulz: "And has done a lot of growing and has adopted different views since then on account of my very secular Gen Z sister and I." That's what's up. Okay, cool.
Christine Schiefer: Love that.
Em Schulz: "Anyway, I remembered my mom and sister uh met Jim Bob, uh who's... " And then Breah Blue says, "Truly, what the fuck kind of name is that?" umm...
Christine Schiefer: It's just not. It's not a name. But anyway.
Em Schulz: "They met Jim Bob, Anna, and Anna's youngest son." Okay. So Anna is Josh, the one we hate's wife.
Christine Schiefer: Josh, the pedophile or the, whatever he is, the convicted... Yeah.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. Child porn guy. Yup.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: His wife is Anna. And his, their youngest son, Mason, is who they met.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Gotcha.
Em Schulz: "Umm, my mom and sister got a picture with Anna and Mason, and my mom got a picture with Jim Bob. I found it important to share these photos with you... "
Christine Schiefer: Whoo.
Em Schulz: "Side note... " I know... "Side note my mom reminded me that Josh was there too, and they saw him in close proximity, but did not care to talk to him."
Christine Schiefer: Good.
Em Schulz: "This is particularly unsettling, considering my sister was underage at the time of the interaction, and this happened in 2018. And I can't exactly remember what Josh trauma drama was occurring at the time, but I'm sure it was absolutely vile." He wasn't, his like actual crimes hadn't been found out yet, but he was still, I think his unfaithfulness had come out. Something like that.
Christine Schiefer: Well, so, I'm actually watching, fun fact, the Ashley Madison documentary on uh Netflix right now. I think it's Netflix...
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: And uh that leak happened in 2015, so that that is...
Em Schulz: Okay. So that must have been that then.
Christine Schiefer: When he must have been outed for the infidelity. Why do I know that? I, see, I'm, I'm now on the periphery...
Em Schulz: Together...
Christine Schiefer: Of your interest. It's really fun. We're like a fucking power house. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Together, we're Law and Order. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: It's amazing!
Em Schulz: And then the pictures, they don't... Uh, I, you just have to zoom in on them, they...
Christine Schiefer: Should I open it?
Em Schulz: Don't open on their own. If you want to. It's just them standing next to each other. But it's...
Christine Schiefer: I mean, I'm intrigued. Oh God. Ugh!
Em Schulz: It's Jim Bob and then at the bottom is... In between them is Anna and the son. Umm, which like...
Christine Schiefer: He just looks so young.
Em Schulz: Which like, that alone is so weird to me, that like why was... Well, I guess Josh was there too. I was gonna say, why is Josh's wife and his dad hanging out when like that would be like... Well, I guess 'cause in...
Christine Schiefer: Illegal.
Em Schulz: No. But in that faith, it's like women aren't allowed to even leave the property without a man...
Christine Schiefer: Right. It sounds like he was chaperoning.
Em Schulz: Taking them. Yeah, right? Even they already have a son. Anyway, that was uh, uh...
Christine Schiefer: Oh no. I mean, that Josh was chaperoning his wife and dad hanging out.
Em Schulz: Oh. [chuckle] uh, yeah. Anyway, that... Thank you, Breah Blue. That's very nice. Uh that's a great way to start this birthday episode.
Christine Schiefer: What a good gift, Em.
Em Schulz: What a great start.
Christine Schiefer: Wow. Happy birthday to you. Birthday boy, sit back and relax. Let me read you a story. This one's called "Glitch in the matrix? A Time travel Meet C"ute?" Wow!
Em Schulz: Yes, please. Yes, please.
Christine Schiefer: This is also from someone named Em, they/them.
Em Schulz: Aaah!
Christine Schiefer: Someone's coming for your crown, man.
Em Schulz: They can't have it.
Christine Schiefer: "Hi... " What?
Em Schulz: They cannot have it. [chuckle] It's my birthday crown.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, it's mine. It's my birthday. "Hi guys, it's me again." [laughter]
Em Schulz: Girl, what... Are you okay? [laughter] Girl said, by the way, gender neutrally...
Christine Schiefer: I, of course...
Em Schulz: But still...
Christine Schiefer: Always. Just like bitch, you know?
Em Schulz: Yeah. It's like...
Christine Schiefer: Sometimes you've gotta say it.
Em Schulz: It's like, hoe, what's going on? [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "Hi guys, it's me again, I wrote in last year about the crazy ghost in the bathroom of a Kohl's in my local abandoned mall."
Em Schulz: Oh!
Christine Schiefer: I do recall that story 'cause I also read it on Beach Too Sandy. "I'm back again because I just listened to the recent Listener's story where Em got super excited about the glitch in the matrix story about a girl who honked at herself in her old white Toyota on a bridge in Australia."
Em Schulz: Uh.
Christine Schiefer: "Em said they didn't think they had had other glitch in the matrix stories, and I had sent this in a couple of years ago, so Em was wrong, but I decided to re-send it, you know, like a crazy person, not crazy, where we literally, never would have found it. Sorry, it was probably buried years ago.
Em Schulz: That's... Yeah. That's okay.
Christine Schiefer: That's okay. "I grew up in the middle of the woods, wandering the creek side, catching toads and crayfish, climbing trees, talking to deer and ducks, and only heading home for the dinner bell. Yes, we literally had a dinner bell, my grandma had a triangle that she would ring when dinner was ready. I know this is all making it sound like I grew up in the 1950s, but I assure you, it was the '90s. I knew every inch of that forest, still do. And one day, I was wandering out there by the cliffs late at night, I was seven or eight at the time. It was a school night, so I left my flashlight at home so I wouldn't get caught sneaking out when I was supposed to be... " Okay.
Em Schulz: Whoa.
Christine Schiefer: I would... I... I've never thought I would say this. I think I would rather my child sneak out and go to a friend's house than sneak out and wander into the woods alone without a flashlight.
Em Schulz: Yeah, truly.
Christine Schiefer: Like I never thought...
Em Schulz: Like, if you're going to leave at all...
Christine Schiefer: I would say, go to a party...
Em Schulz: Just be safe.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. But like, at least don't go into the woods without a flashlight.
Em Schulz: Ugh, yuck!
Christine Schiefer: And no one knows where you are, you snuck out? Oh my gosh. Usually, I'm like, oh, sneaking out is a cute fun story. Not into the woods, in the dark. What are you doing?
Em Schulz: Yeah. And Christine's a mom now, you can't even... Now, I, I...
Christine Schiefer: My anxiety.
Em Schulz: 'Cause in mine, I can, I can think of it in a way of like, I have no attachment to like someone wandering out in the woods, but i-if I had a baby, I'd be like, that would be quadruple.
Christine Schiefer: Especially if you like, check the camera or like... And I mean, obviously, back then, there wasn't one, but like, like peek in and the child is not in their bed...
Em Schulz: Uh!
Christine Schiefer: And they're eight, so they're not like out smoking weed yet, presumably, like they're just gone? Forget it.
Em Schulz: But Leona, future Leona, if you are missing by 16, just know that your mom thinks you're just out smoking weed, and that's it. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Honestly. And I'm like, just go to a house party. Okay? Em's throwing one, I heard, uh.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Live a little. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Live a little. No, no, I'd... Listen, I'm the... I was the most straight edge kid ever, but... And so I would see myself, like I used to sneak out into the cemetery at night... But like the woods, man. Okay.
Em Schulz: Yeah, so scary.
Christine Schiefer: All right. Let's see... Yeah, I mean, listen, "I was wandering out there by the cliffs late at night, [chuckle] I was seven or eight at the time, it was a school night, so I left my flashlight at a home so I wouldn't get caught sneaking out when I was supposed to be in bed. It was the first day of the full moon, so the sky was bright and clear, and it was a nice and chilly October night. I was sitting on a fallen tree, skipping rocks when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. When I looked to see what it was, it was a guy sitting on a rock by the edge of the creek, smoking a cigarette and smiling, looking to his left and talking to something that wasn't there."
Em Schulz: Bitch, no. There's, no...
Christine Schiefer: See...
Em Schulz: Also gender neutrally, like...
Christine Schiefer: Was I right or... Was I right or was I right?
Em Schulz: Get... Oh.
Christine Schiefer: About leave... Escaping, running away into the woods. Don't do that.
Em Schulz: Maybe one thing, if it was a guy with a cigarette, like, pondering like umm deeply or something...
Christine Schiefer: Like also skipping rocks...
Em Schulz: But smiling, and there's... This is not an era of TikTok.
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: It's not like he's like, looking at his phone and smiling and talking to someone who is not there.
Christine Schiefer: Who is not there.
Em Schulz: Like what else do you need? Leave.
Christine Schiefer: "He wasn't too tall, wearing a red hoodie, had black hair, a short beard, dark eyes, and a kind smile that wrinkled his cheeks. I knew he wasn't there a second before and I didn't trust strangers, especially ones that were trespassing in the dark, so I got up and ran." Okay...
Em Schulz: Good.
Christine Schiefer: So you're right. "My shuffling on the rocks made him look up and he made eye contact with me looking confused, and then he was gone, like he vanished into thin air."
Em Schulz: What the fuck?
Christine Schiefer: Years went by...
Em Schulz: Like a ghost? Like a ghost?
Christine Schiefer: Yes!
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Well, I don't know if you remember the subject, anyway. "Years went by and I forgot all about this weird encounter, especially since those woods were full of weird encounters. I moved out, got a car, started working, and my life moved out of the forest and into an apartment across town. I had just gotten out of a 10-year abusive relationship, which did not end well. It actually took me a while to admit just how abusive it was with some friend... Was... I thought I was in love and not good enough for him, but really, it was just a bad situation all around. I was living with some friends in a small apartment and I was fighting so hard to feel valid. I was in a really bad place and looked for validation in all the wrong places, one of them being Tinder. I know, I know. Don't judge me." Well, I don't judge you for that...
Em Schulz: No. What...
Christine Schiefer: I've been on Tinder and I've also been married five years, so, you know what? I mean, to be clear, it was before I was married, but still, we've all been there. "I know, I know. Don't judge me. I went through literal hell on that app. After going through a bunch of assholes, including... " Oh no. Oh my God... Okay. I said we've been there too soon, "including one who drugged me and locked me in his basement, a story for another day, I decided to try one more time because apparently I hadn't learned my lesson. I matched with a guy in July who was cute. He had kind eyes. His first picture was him in a suit sitting in front of a piano, with an upright bass leaning on his knee. And his other picture was him in the woods sitting on a dirt bike that was entirely too big for him, covered in mud with a huge smile on his face. That smile made me feel safe, and we started talking. We formed a bond over our interests in forests, birds, dogs, music, and a mutual love of '90s Japanese station wagons."
Em Schulz: [chuckle] I smell ADHD. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Let's talk about forests, music, dogs, '90s Japanese station wagons. I mean, it's like the most niche, the least niche and the most niche things you could possibly say.
Em Schulz: I know a hyper interest when I see one. That's crazy.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: That... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "And then, he ghosted me. As quickly as he showed up in my life, he disappeared for three months. He didn't answer any of my texts. And I moved on to another half-assed conversation on the internet. When he showed back up out of nowhere, it was October and he just sent me a, hey, sorry I fell off the face of the earth. You wanna hang out tonight? I decided I would half-ass this, too. Obviously, he wasn't super interested or he wouldn't have disappeared on me. So I told him, sure. I had er-errands to run in town, in the town where he lived. So I would pick him up when I was done and we could go get dinner. I put no effort into my outfit. Halloween leggings and a T-shirt from a local pizzeria with the top cut off. And I met him... "
Em Schulz: Great.
Christine Schiefer: "In the parking lot of a Target, where we got into my car and went out for dinner. We got cheese steaks and talked about life, and he explained he had ghosted me because he had been in and out of the hospital because he... Of a chronic illness he had been living with all his life. He didn't tell me at the time what it was, but Christine would understand his plight. He never meant to keep me hanging, but he was in good health for now and wanted to take the opportunity to meet and hang out. After dinner, I took him into the woods behind my grandmother's house. We didn't bring any flashlights. We didn't need them. It was the first night of the full moon and the sky was bright and clear. We talked all night sitting on the edge of the creek, skipping rocks, learning about each other, though it felt like we had known each other for years. And this was just a refresher. It was almost 1:00 AM when something caught his eye and he looked away from me mid-sentence towards a fallen tree on the other side of the creek. He looked confused and said, 'Did you see that?' I was also confused, thinking he had just seen the trees rustling from the wind. And I said, 'No.' I didn't see anything. He said, 'There was a little girl over there on the rocks. She ran that way, but I don't see her anymore.'"
Em Schulz: Shut the fuck up! So she... He wasn't talking to no one, he was talking to future her?
Christine Schiefer: Uh-huh. And she couldn't even see her future self.
Em Schulz: Shut the fuck up. Oh my God!
Christine Schiefer: Did, uh... I... Wow. Oh my Lord. Okay.
Em Schulz: Whoa.
Christine Schiefer: "I looked at the fallen tree and an image flashed into my mind of being that little girl, singing... Seeing a man sitting on the rocks across the creek and running back toward my house and his vanishing into the night. I took a second to really look at him now; not too tall, red hoodie, black hair, short black beard, dark eyes, and that kind wrinkled smile with a cigarette dangling from his hand. I told him I didn't see anything, and it was probably just a neighbor kid wandering the woods where she isn't supposed to be and told him not to worry about it. It all started to make sense why his smile made me feel safe, and why I was drawn to those dark eyes when I saw him on Tinder. I knew I had seen him before. We have now been together for six years and we're planning our life together. We got married this past December in 2023. It was a beautiful woodland wedding surrounded by people we love, and maybe someday I'll tell him that we met once before that day in October, a long time ago in the '90s. He just didn't know it yet."
Em Schulz: He... You haven't told him?
Christine Schiefer: That would be the first motherfucking thing out of my mouth.
Em Schulz: Within second... I, by the way, the first thing I would've done is marry him on sight. And the second thing...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: I would've done is told him... What do you mean you haven't told him? You've been with him for six years and he doesn't know that you saw him when you were nine? That, how... What, it...
Christine Schiefer: Why haven't you told him? That... That, that he time travels? He doesn't... You haven't even told him he time travels sometimes?
Em Schulz: Like in that moment, when he was nine, did he like run into you or like did he, like what was his body do... Did he feel something? Because in my mind, if this were like a Nicholas Sparks movie...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: Nine-year-old her sees him.
Christine Schiefer: Which it is and it will be. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Nine-year-old her sees him; in that moment where he was like smiling and talking to someone, that might've been the moment that he like fell in love.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] You sho... Got to witness it.
Em Schulz: And you got to watch him fall in love...
Christine Schiefer: Him falling in love with you.
Em Schulz: Like, why haven't you mentioned this? Because for all you know, he hasn't said...
Christine Schiefer: For your wedding vow.
Em Schulz: For all you know, he's been wondering this whole time if he should tell you, like, I actually fell in love with you on our first date when we were sitting by that rock, but I didn't know how to tell you.
Christine Schiefer: I mean...
Em Schulz: Because you could have seen it happen. Come on!
Christine Schiefer: Wow. You have a, you, Em, this other Em, not you, Em. Em and I could never. This Em and I could never. It would be...
Em Schulz: It would, it would literally be my entire personality, there's no way...
Christine Schiefer: I was gonna say, it would be our entire fucking personality. If we met this way, this is all we would talk about. Like we would have nothing else to talk about.
Em Schulz: I know, it would, it would come up in every conversation. Maybe that's why you haven't told him, 'cause you just know that you'll look like a crazy person.
Christine Schiefer: Maybe you're like...
Em Schulz: Permanently.
Christine Schiefer: Maybe... Oh God. Yeah. Wow. I'm just so taken by this story. This is incredible. This is incredible.
Em Schulz: That's amazing.
Christine Schiefer: It's amazing.
Em Schulz: And also now I'm panicked 'cause I'm like, anytime I see like someone who I've thought like maybe was going through something, 'cause they were talking to someone who wasn't there, what if that's just future me they're talking to and I don't even know it?
Christine Schiefer: Oh my Lord! You're right, Em.
Em Schulz: Oh, God.
Christine Schiefer: What if that invisible person was just you all along?
Em Schulz: It could, now I found a new way to like, have an ego. I'm like, oh, it's obviously me they're talking to.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, anybody...
Em Schulz: I'll just, let me wave to the air. Hello...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah.
Em Schulz: Future me. I'm onto you.
Christine Schiefer: If someone's on the phone and you're like, oh, hi...
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: And they're like, I'm on the phone. And you're like, I know, it's future me. I know. It happens all the time.
Em Schulz: We'll, we'll meet again. I'll tell you about it later.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. We...
Em Schulz: Don't worry.
Christine Schiefer: Then you'll be that weirdo talking to people on the street. Yeah. [laughter] Umm, Em says, "Thanks for everything you do. I sincerely love you guys and your banter. I've been listening since episode three." Holy shit.
Em Schulz: Whew.
Christine Schiefer: "And you guys have really helped me through a lot of tough times, like living in my car and trying and succeeding." Thank you very much. Love that. "To survive the worst year of my life. Never stop being you, Em."
Em Schulz: Ooh!
Christine Schiefer: Whoa! That's one of the wildest fucking stories ever!
Em Schulz: That's so cool.
Christine Schiefer: That's like...
Em Schulz: That's so cool... I'm so jealous.
Christine Schiefer: That's just incredible. It's incredible.
Em Schulz: I'm jealous. Okay, next one.
Christine Schiefer: You've... Em, you've gotta like, no, other Em, sorry. You've gotta like write this into a book or like, tell your partner at the least. I wanna know their reaction.
Em Schulz: Tell Nicholas Sparks.
Christine Schiefer: Tell Nicholas Sparks. But, but, but have your lawyer present 'cause I don't want that guy to steal this from you.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Uh, just after every word say like trademark, TM, TM, TM, TM.
Christine Schiefer: TM, TM, TM, TM.
Em Schulz: Okay. Umm, let's see. Number one was... Okay. Oh my god. The subject line again.
Christine Schiefer: What?
Em Schulz: Do you wanna read it?
Christine Schiefer: Oh. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Just so people, so people know I'm not crazy.
Christine Schiefer: Should I go to the next one?
Em Schulz: Yeah. Read number three.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay.
Em Schulz: What's the subject line?
Christine Schiefer: Number three is called, hold on. The time I... [laughter] "The time I flipped off the Duggars." [laughter] Eva, you sneaky, sneaky girl!
Em Schulz: This... This is definitely a birthday surprise if the next one's also the Duggars. I mean that, that's a great theme. You really picked out a...
Christine Schiefer: That's called a triple decker.
Em Schulz: I know.
Christine Schiefer: That's called a hat trick.
Em Schulz: Uh, okay. Well, umm, here we go. This is from Jean who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the story says, "Hi, Eva. Not a terribly exciting story, but since Em is about as obsessed with the Duggars as I am, I was raised... [chuckle] I was raised in an uber conservative Catholic household with 10 kids and was homeschooled, so the Duggar situation feels very similar to mine." Whoa. Umm, "I thought I would send in this anecdote. Last September in 2023, my husband and I planned to take our 2-year-old to visit friends in Northwest Arkansas." Which is where the Duggars are. "Two of my friends... "
Christine Schiefer: I did not know that.
Em Schulz: Yep. Uh, "two of my friends from high school live there and one of them also has a 2-year-old son. So we were all excited to see each other and have the boys meet. The first full day we were there, we planned to go to my friend AC's mom's house because she has a pool and we thought it would be fun for the boys to swim together. While we were still in the planning phase, I was texting with AC to get suggestions of what else to do, and somehow, the Duggars came up. She casually drops, 'Oh, I didn't tell you. I drive past their house every day and my mom lives like five minutes from them.'"
Christine Schiefer: Maybe that's just like normal in that area. You're like...
Em Schulz: It's gotta be.
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah, the Duggars are everywhere.
Em Schulz: I mean, if you think about it, like the mathematically...
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: The, if it was like, if each of the 19 kids had 19 kids, there'd be like 500 Duggars in one town.
Christine Schiefer: That's...
Em Schulz: So it's like...
Christine Schiefer: Out of control.
Em Schulz: So it's like, eventually...
Christine Schiefer: Like statistically speaking... Right, right, right.
Em Schulz: Of... I guess you... Everyone has... Probably has...
Christine Schiefer: You're one degree away from the Duggar, [chuckle] from a Duggar at any given point.
Em Schulz: Everyone in Northwest Arkansas has a, a story about a Duggar, probably.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I wonder you... Uh, not I wonder, I know, if I lived in Northwest... Northwest Arkansas, my goal would be to try to like collect all... Like all the sightings. Like get one of each, you know?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah. No doubt.
Em Schulz: Umm, which is so not to, I'm not trying to objectify people, but I also know my brain. I would secretly just keep a list of like, who I've seen.
Christine Schiefer: But it would be like a log. Like you would log...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Which ones you've been able to capture in the wild, like a Pokemon.
Em Schulz: Like a Pokemon.
Christine Schiefer: Like sighted, sighted in the wild. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah. Umm, then...
Christine Schiefer: I'm like, it's not objectifying, it's just like they're Pokemon. [laughter] Of course, you're wrong.
Em Schulz: I know. It's like they're not, I'm not calling them objects. I'm calling them things.
Christine Schiefer: They're just trading cards.
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I know. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I hope people know what I meant by that. Okay. Umm, so Jean says, uh, oh, friend says, I, I, "I drive past their house every day. Jean says, girl, what? Turns out when AC drops her son off at her mom's house every day for babysitting, she passes the Duggar compound and flips them off every time."
Christine Schiefer: Oh my god!
Em Schulz: Oh. Yeah. It's, it's called the, well, the snarkers call it the Duggar compound.
Christine Schiefer: Yikes.
Em Schulz: Umm, "And she sent me a video of herself flipping off the house one time."
Christine Schiefer: She's like, this is my routine. My daily, daily drive.
Em Schulz: "So fast forward to us actually getting to AC's mom's house, having the boys play together and just all around having a wonderful morning, but when it was time to leave, AC told us to follow her and we would pass the Duggar house on the way to our Airbnb."
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: "Sure enough, five minutes later, we're passing the Duggar house and I'm throwing the bird right out the window. JB, or, not JB, sorry, Just-Justin Bieber... Jim Bob, uh, is the other JB...
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] The... There are only two.
Em Schulz: There's only two, ju... Just-Justice Beaver as Dwight Schrute would say. And Jim Bob.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Justice Beaver. Uh-huh.
Em Schulz: "Jim Bob and Michelle are such awful people preaching horrible dangerous ideas. I am, I'm so glad Jill, uh, has gotten away from them and I hope their kids follow her lead. And, uh, I'm always so sad for those kids. Anyway, that's the time I flipped off the Duggars. We're heading back to Arkansas again a few weeks, so maybe I'll flip them off again."
Christine Schiefer: Yes!
Em Schulz: "Sending hugs from Texas, Jean."
Christine Schiefer: Oh, give them an extra one for me, please.
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Wow. That's crazy.
Em Schulz: Umm, thank you, Jean, for fulfilling all my birthday desires.
Christine Schiefer: For being you. For being you. Yeah. I mean, Em's really getting like, uh, quite a, just a, a Duggar-themed celebration, celebration.
Em Schulz: Duggar Deluxe.
Christine Schiefer: A Duggar Deluxe combo number five.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, this one. Oh! Okay. Eva, it's like she reads my mind.
Em Schulz: [gasp] Is it cowboys? What is it?
Christine Schiefer: No. No. But it's the astral plane. I mean, look...
Em Schulz: Okay, well here we go.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Eva's like, Oh, Christine. I know this is very Duggar-heavy. Here's one specifically for you. [laughter] This is called... This is from Rocky, she/her, what a great name. It's called, "My Body Almost Got Snatched in the Astral Plane!" Okay. Well now this is my worst nightmare. Okay.
Em Schulz: I'm excited. Let's go.
Christine Schiefer: "Dear Christine, Em, Eva, and the amazing crew of And That's Why We Drink, today I wanna talk to you about my first time astral projecting and the very creepy message I got from someone in the astral plane."
Em Schulz: [gasp] Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Em, literally before we recorded today, I was trying to astral project. Now I'm like, should I... Okay.
Em Schulz: Yes, you should. And we should list... We should... You should do whatever this person did.
Christine Schiefer: I keep trying to visit you... Oh, okay. "But first, I wanna thank you for everything you do." That's very kind. Umm, "I've told," oh wait. Okay. "I love your banter and going down the rabbit hole with you. I've told just about everyone I know about the history of celery. Uh, your podcast... "
Em Schulz: Thank you.
Christine Schiefer: Thank you, you're doing the Lord's work. "Your podcast has helped me through my commute to work, folding laundry, the bane of... Amen... Any ADHDer's existence and all the mundane chores, which would..." I do have actually Em, laundry, a laundry show and laundry podcasts that are like my special treat for when I like fold laundry. 'Cause I'm like, otherwise, I just...
Em Schulz: That's so nice.
Christine Schiefer: Will never do it.
Em Schulz: That's so nice.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, so I get it. Uh, anyway, I, so it's an honor to be that for someone else, you know, like that I'm the laundry podcast for someone, makes me really happy. Okay. Now let's crack into it. "A few months ago, I astral projected for the first time out of nowhere." Oh my God. Lucky. [laughter] "I have never tried to astral project before. I've never kept a dream diary or even had a lucid dream." Okay. Here's me.
Em Schulz: Okay. So you're just one of God's favorites. Okay. Don't brag.
Christine Schiefer: I'm trying too hard, is what I'm getting from this. Umm, wow. "I came home from school in the," this is a few months ago. Just keep in mind, "I came home from school in the late afternoon, went to bed early, absolutely bone tired from my day. I don't remember falling asleep, just getting in bed, and suddenly waking up again. I jolted up in bed as if I had just woken up from a bad dream. And I got out of bed quickly in a little bit of panic. When I turned around, I saw myself in bed, sound asleep."
Em Schulz: Bye. What?
Christine Schiefer: She just like pulled herself out of her body.
Em Schulz: To be so special.
Christine Schiefer: This...
Em Schulz: I just don't know that...
Christine Schiefer: This is...
Em Schulz: I just don't know that experience.
Christine Schiefer: So interesting because that is what they say, it's so hard to understand as someone who's never astral projected, but the... The, the strategy is that you're supposed to literally sit up without sitting up. Like you're, you're supposed to... Your astral self is supposed to sit up, but you're not.
Em Schulz: I only astral projected once when I was a kid and it, and I've, but I was like, I wasn't obviously trying to do it.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: And it's, and...
Christine Schiefer: What happened again, you like flew around your house or something?
Em Schulz: I flew around my kitchen.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Yeah.
Em Schulz: And then I just flew right back up to bed and I just sat right back into my body.
Christine Schiefer: Popped, popped back on in.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It was so weird.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So I feel like it happens by accident sometimes. And then... But so the method is the same way, which is really interesting that you really are supposed to like almost rip yourself out of your body. Like, and so rip is a bad word, but like, you're supposed to kind of like quickly, like just pull out. So it sounds like you did that by accident, Rocky.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, well, very much so by accident. So it says, uh, "I got out of bed a little quickly in a bit of a panic when I turned around and I saw myself in bed, sound asleep. I didn't know what was going on and I started freaking out. I tried to wake myself up, but when I tried to touch my bo... " Oh, this is so crazy!
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: "When I tried to touch my body, my hands went right through my torso, not... "
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: This is freaking me the F out because like, this is hearing from someone who had not been even practicing or planning this, it's not like, oh, I'd been envisioning what I would do if I ever, ever astral projected. This is like someone who doesn't even realize what they're doing.
Em Schulz: Mm.
Christine Schiefer: So it's so amazing to hear your experience. Umm. This is so cute. I'm sorry. "Not knowing what to do. I went to look for my mom. I live with my mom and we have a really close relationship, and I thought if anyone could help me... " Can you imagine Leona's soul shows up, she goes, I can't get back into my body, Mom. [laughter] Like, I'd be like, what the fuck?!
Em Schulz: And you'd be like... You'd be like, don't look at me. I clearly don't know how to do it, so.
Christine Schiefer: I'd be like, I'm trying to get out... Out of my body. I can't even do it, you lucky duck. Umm, "I thought if anyone could help me, it would be my mom. I was honestly so panicked and freaked out. It hadn't even occurred to me yet that I could be dreaming, or astral projecting. I walked out to the living room to find my mom eating popcorn and watching television in her pajamas. I remember she was wearing a blue nighty I had never seen her in before and watching one of her stories. I tried to talk to her, but she didn't acknowledge me at all." Oh, so this is interesting too, Em. Oh, that made my stomach flip. So I guess sometimes you're not visible to people 'cause I've heard...
Em Schulz: I mean, hello. Some... Someone with a glitch in the matrix was invisible. It's weird how, like...
Christine Schiefer: Fair point. Yeah. I guess you never know. Umm, okay. Buh, buh, buh... "She looked... I stood in front of the TV and waved my hands, but she looked right through me. At this point, my panic had started to subside and I came to the conclusion I must be in a dream. I remember making the decision to explore the house and walking to the kitchen. The kitchen in our house has a door that slides open and closed. And when I approached the door, it was shut. When I slid the door open on the other side, I was shocked." Oh, see, this is what happens. Em, if you're ever in a lucid dream, uh, if you envision a door and open it, it's like your key to your mind to create a whole new setting.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: So like, even if you're opening just like a closet door it, in your dream or whatever, it probably won't be a closet. It'll be like a...
Em Schulz: A whole new world.
Christine Schiefer: Factory, a new, a field... Like something completely different. Umm, yes. "I was shocked to find there was a very large green filled field with people... Filled with people picnicking. When I opened the door, all of the people," this is from fucking Inception, "turned around and looked at me all at the same time and just continued to stare." I'm telling you, like my heart's...
Em Schulz: When I tell you...
Christine Schiefer: In my butt right now, I'm so freaked out.
Em Schulz: Even my soul needs a Xanax. If I ever went, like, [laughter] if I ever went astral projecting and everyone did that, like the fact that my performance anxiety would exist on all planes is insane. Like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah. You're like your soul has fucking performance anxiety, that's not fair.
Em Schulz: That, I, uh, I would, I mean, I would just try to slowly close that door as quick as I could.
Christine Schiefer: Can you pee your astral pants? Because I think I would just pee my pants. Like, I don't know... I don't know. I don't know what I would do.
Em Schulz: What happens when your soul passes out? Does it die because I think I'd die.
Christine Schiefer: Mmm.
Em Schulz: If everyone turned around like a fucking Blumhouse Productions movie, I'd be like...
Christine Schiefer: You would really die of embarrassment and horror all at the same time.
Em Schulz: And horror. The dread would be out of control.
Christine Schiefer: It's the dread. It's the dread.
Em Schulz: And also, and also the fears of like, well, now that I've opened a spiritual door, does that mean they can follow me back in if I try to leave, like are they mad at me...
Christine Schiefer: Right. What do they see? Why are they all looking... Am I not supposed to be here? Did I see something I'm not supposed to see?
Em Schulz: Am I not... Am I getting punished? Like, are they gonna come back and hurt me later? Oh my god.
Christine Schiefer: Do they know how to find me through my pantry or whatever this wardrobe to Narnia is?
Em Schulz: Ugh!
Christine Schiefer: Umm and also to not even know what's going on, like you don't even realize you're dreaming, you're just like... And by the way, I've done a lot of astral projection research recently, mostly just reading people's anecdotal stories, but still... And the way it's often described is it feels like real life, it's not like a dream where the memory kind of gets hazy afterward. Like even in a lucid dream, if I don't write it down right away, I'll forget it. But like apparently astral projection feels like you're literally 'cause you're conscious... You're fully conscious, so you're just like... Apparently, it's supposed to be as vivid and real as waking life.
Em Schulz: Oof!
Christine Schiefer: So this isn't like you could brush it off as a dream afterward, I imagine. "At this point, I freaked out again, ran back to my bedroom and laid down over my own body, waiting and hoping to fall asleep in the dream and return to reality. Eventually... "
Em Schulz: It's giving like Peter Pan trying to press his shadow into him.
Christine Schiefer: Literally, like force... Yes, 100% is what I thought of, too. "Eventually, after some time, I woke up in real life and was happy to find there was only one of me." I mean, it does sound like a Freaky Friday, like Disney Channel original movie...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: That you would clone yourself, you know. "I ran out to the living room to tell my mom about my dream and stopped dead in my tracks. Not only was she watching the same episode of her show on the television, she was also wearing the same blue nightie from my dream that I had never seen before and munching on popcorn."
Em Schulz: Oof.
Christine Schiefer: I asked when she had gotten her... Where she'd gotten her pajamas from, and she said she had just bought them from Walmart, and that's when I realized what had happened hadn't been a dream at all, there was absolutely no way I could dream what my mom was watching, wearing, and eating. Thinking about it still gives me chills. The next night and every night for the next few days, I was really afraid of astral projecting again, but night after night, I went to sleep without incident. It got to the point where I thought it would never happen again, and I was safe. I even began to dismiss my own experience as a coincidence and just a very vivid dream, though I couldn't explain how I had known what she was watching, eating, and wearing. Then one night, a few months later, it happened again... "
Em Schulz: Oh shit.
Christine Schiefer: "I woke up and was sitting inside my own sleeping body, like literally something straight out of a movie."
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: So like you're basically just sitting up out of your body is what's happening here, Rocky.
Em Schulz: Mm.
Christine Schiefer: Like you're somehow subconsciously, just like sitting up and leaving your body behind. "Umm, this time, I went into the living room, there was no one home, and for some reason, I felt much braver than I had the first time I had astral projected. I was determined to figure out what was going on. I opened up my kitchen door expecting to find the field full of people, but inside was just my kitchen again. Well, I thought, if there's no one home, I'll just have to go outside and ask someone else what is going on."
Em Schulz: Sure.
Christine Schiefer: This sounds like me in a... Me in a lucid dream.
Em Schulz: Makes sense.
Christine Schiefer: I left... Makes sense. "I left my house and began to walk down the street, determined to find someone to pay attention to me and tell me what was happening." That's what Em and I do. We leave our house determined to find someone to pay attention to us and tell us what's happening. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. Yes.
Christine Schiefer: Tell me what's happening and call me pretty. How much more could I possibly ask?
Em Schulz: Blaise and Allison.
Christine Schiefer: Blaise... "There were people I didn't recognize on the streets, but they all just gave me weird suspicious sideways glances and wouldn't talk to me if I approached them. I tried talking... " I wonder what they saw, Em.
Em Schulz: Honestly, I- I don't know. I have no idea.
Christine Schiefer: I'd be like, what do I look like right now?
Em Schulz: Am I pretty?
Christine Schiefer: Am I pretty? What's happening? "I tried talking to a few people, but every time I said anything, they would walk right past me. Aways from my house, there's a bus stop, and I noticed there was a red bus pulled up to it with people getting on. I don't know what gave me the gall or the bravery, but I remember thinking I could get answers if I could get on the bus." Oh my God, what the fuck? Oh, and then... She wrote, "try walking away from me if you're stuck on a bus next to me," love that, "but before I could board the bus, I felt someone grabbed my arm and pull me out of the bus door... "
Em Schulz: I honestly thank God someone was looking out for you.
Christine Schiefer: I'm so afraid. Yeah, me too.
Em Schulz: Geez.
Christine Schiefer: "I turned around to see a man I had never met before, looking super worried at me, he looked at me like he knew me and said very gravely, 'What are you doing here?'"
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: I uh, I'm so scared right now, Em! [chuckle]
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: It's like really scaring me. "What are you doing here? I asked him if I knew him, but he ignored my question and kept talking, 'You shouldn't be here. You need to go back to your body or they will take it.'"
Em Schulz: [gasp] Motherfucker. What the hell?
Christine Schiefer: I am so scared right now.
Em Schulz: Oh my God. Also, like the fact that he's ignoring... Like he clearly... Clearly, to me, whatever. But like, he knew... He knew you and knew you should...
Christine Schiefer: He knows who you are. Yeah.
Em Schulz: He... You're not supposed to know who he is, I'm assuming, because in a past life, you knew each other and he's supposed to look out for you now...
Christine Schiefer: He's like not relevant right now. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It's like, don't worry about that. I know you. What the fuck is going on?
Christine Schiefer: This is not... Yeah. This is...
Em Schulz: I checked the calendar, you're not supposed to be here for a much longer time.
Christine Schiefer: You're supposed to be in bed now, uh or else they will take your body. Oh my God.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: "I was shocked and super freaked out and asked him again, but he shoved me in the direction of my house and said you need to go back to your body now."
Em Schulz: Ugh!
Christine Schiefer: "After that, he got on the bus and suddenly, I lost all my determination," thank God, "I decided to run back to my house into my bedroom. My body was still there sound asleep, and I laid in myself... Laid down in myself, just like I had the time before. This time when I woke up, however, I had sleep paralysis."
Em Schulz: Oh shit.
Christine Schiefer: "I was awake in my body, but I couldn't get myself to move. Around my room, I could see shadowy figures floating above my bed staring down at me. I wanted to scream and run or do anything to make it stop, but I couldn't move. I stayed like that for what felt like hours in full-blown panic mode until finally, I felt like I was released from what felt like a living nightmare.
Em Schulz: Mm.
Christine Schiefer: "I know sleep paralysis is just your mind hallucinating and muscle paralysis, but I am still convinced today that the shadowy figures I saw floating around in my room staring down at me were the things the man in the astral plane was trying to warn me about."
Em Schulz: Whew!
Christine Schiefer: "Ever since then, when I've astral projected, I've never left my room afraid that something is going to try and snatch my body. I still don't know if I completely believe in astral projection... " Are you kidding me, Rocky?
Em Schulz: Yeah, I...
Christine Schiefer: Are you kidding me? Here I am...
Em Schulz: I beg to differ.
Christine Schiefer: Desperately trying night after night to just get a glimpse of this and Rocky is like...
Em Schulz: Privilege.
Christine Schiefer: This is probably not real.
Em Schulz: Canceled. No.
Christine Schiefer: Cancel Rocky! No. Just kidding. Uh, buh, buh, buh. "I'm not sure if I completely believe in astral projection or if what happened to me was more a dream and reality, but I can tell you one thing, I'm never gonna leave my room again when I'm in the astral plane. Stay safe out there folks in the real world, and the astral one, and beware of the body snatchers. Cheers, Rocky." This was my favorite story we've ever done on this show, I think. I'm like...
Em Schulz: That... That's crazy.
Christine Schiefer: That was good. That was good. I just love that.
Em Schulz: That was a good one.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: That had, it had, it had character, adventure, whimsy, fear, all of it.
Christine Schiefer: It had a big red bus.
Em Schulz: Big red bus.
Christine Schiefer: What more could I ask for?
Em Schulz: Well done. I'm, I'm...
Christine Schiefer: Tell me what's happening, and tell me I'm pretty.
Em Schulz: I'm wondering if uh round three for me is also gonna be...
Christine Schiefer: Oh can I add one thing?
Em Schulz: Oh. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I just wanna say to Rocky too, like I know that it sounds really scary that that person said to you, oh, they're gonna take your body. My... And listen, I'm no expert, okay. I promise, but my gut instinct or, or reaction to that is maybe that your consciousness conjured that to be like, quit messing around. Like almost like a, just like a, like not a real literal threat, like the demons will take your body away, but like just your own mind manifesting like, come on, get back in your body, you're not supposed to be wandering around. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Also I feel like all the spirits that are, you know, much more informed than we are about this stuff...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: They must hate the fucking kids who are like, I'm gonna learn to astral project. They're like no!
Christine Schiefer: I'm just going to wander around and see what's going on. Yeah.
Em Schulz: They're like, your fucking soul is supposed to be in your body, on Earth, what... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: That's the point. You're only here for like 60 fucking years. Just stay in there. You have eternity to be out of your body. Stay put.
Em Schulz: Yeah, yeah. One day you'll wish you had a, a vessel or something. Umm okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yes, yes! Anyway, so I don't know. I, I've heard that... That things in the astral plane can be a little scary, but a lot of times, it's just like your own ego getting in the way and talking, and that it's supposed to be all, all loving and light, but what do I know? That's just what I tell myself.
Em Schulz: It makes me wonder like what happens to the people we never hear about...
Christine Schiefer: That's... Exactly... That's terrifying!
Em Schulz: Who never actually did go back to their body or listened to any of the signs. What happened?
Christine Schiefer: Like what if you got on the bus?
Em Schulz: Yeah. And then, and then what? In the real world, we just thought you like died in your sleep? Like what happened? Okay. My next one is called, it's not a Duggar one, but it's called "Glitch in the matrix or... "
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] Okay.
Em Schulz: This is a Christine one, "Glitch in the matrix or possible alien abduction?"
Christine Schiefer: Oh! Okay.
Em Schulz: I, I like to call this, ¿Por qué no los dos? because...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, some deedy and deedy and deedy.
Em Schulz: This is from Vic who uses he/him pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And Vic says, "I've been listening to your podcast from the very beginning and always wanted to turn a story in. I'm from Los Angeles, but moved to Michigan in 2004 when I was eight. I have a couple of friends out there I'm still in contact with, and I've known them since we were in diapers. Well, one of them, we'll call him E. E told me the story about the time he went missing for four days and didn't even know he was missing."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "E is a truck driver that drives all around the West Coast, and he took a route like any other regular day from Salt Lake City that was headed to Vegas. The route was uh, scheduled to leave Tuesday afternoon. Keep that in mind." Okay, Tuesday afternoon. "So he did his usual thing, calling his friends and family that he was... And telling them he was heading to Vegas and everything was normal. He was driving at night, and thought it was... "
Christine Schiefer: Can you imagine if I called you and said, everything... Or I'm going to Vegas and everything is normal. Bye.
Em Schulz: If you said anything...
Christine Schiefer: You'd be like, I'm calling the police. [laughter]
Em Schulz: If you said anything and at the end put, "everything is normal," I'd go... [laughter] I know you're not telling the truth.
Christine Schiefer: I beg to differ! Yeah.
Em Schulz: Umm if you just said like, oh, I'm just... You know, I'm eating cereal, everything's normal, I'd be like...
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Oh, red alert. Red flag!
Em Schulz: I'd be like, that was the dumbest thing you could have ever said.
Christine Schiefer: Something... Something has gone terribly wrong.
Em Schulz: Umm, "he was driving at night and thought it was weird, he hadn't seen a car for hours, he was on his phone trying to text and call his family, but nothing was going through."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] He like entered a liminal space or something. Ewww.
Em Schulz: "He figured it was just the signal, so he left it alone, so he's driving and driving and still no car."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "His friends and family haven't called him or anything so he thought that was weird. Finally, he sees a car in the distance, and then he sees another later on. He sees the city and starts seeing more and more cars, uh but he's on his way to his destination and he gets pulled over. But the strange thing about this is that the cop only asked for his ID and asked if he had been on any drugs or alcohol, and my friend said no, he'd been driving all night from Salt Lake. The cop told him to follow him to the station and he asked if he was being detained."
Christine Schiefer: What?
Em Schulz: "The cop said no, but they had questions they wanted to ask him."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] Time police? I'm so scared.
Em Schulz: So there... If there was such a thing as time police...
Christine Schiefer: I think there is.
Em Schulz: We would be them; partner in time.
Christine Schiefer: Well, we've already discussed that we are uh partners in time...
Em Schulz: Crime travel.
Christine Schiefer: And crime travel, but I don't think that we're actually sanctioned, if that makes sense.
Em Schulz: But if there was a time police, you know they would call it "time crime."
Christine Schiefer: Right. Well, too bad, we already took that, so they can't have it.
Em Schulz: Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: No, they wouldn't call it that because they're... They're not fun enough... No, Em, not a...
Em Schulz: Mariska and Stabler, they, they get sex crimes. We get time crimes.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, but also like the police wouldn't come up with time crime, they're not gonna rhyme. That's too fun and jovial for them. They'd be just like...
Em Schulz: They might, to try to placate people that usually wouldn't bat an eye towards them.
Christine Schiefer: I don't... I don't know. I...
Em Schulz: 'Cause if I heard that the police came out with a new department called "time crime," I would have to say, man, I gotta finally for once hand it to them, I don't know. I gotta, gotta give it to them. Time crime's pretty cool.
Christine Schiefer: I think they're gonna have some really generic name that no one would ever guess because it's so boring that you would never suspect. You know.
Em Schulz: Maybe... And then people would protest and say, time to rename yourself, you know?
Christine Schiefer: Uh, you would probably... You might do that actually.
Em Schulz: It'd be a one-man protest. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Em Schulz: "So, okay, they ask him to come with him. They have a couple of questions." And uh, so "they're at the station and they're taking his vitals and basically doing a whole evaluation."
Christine Schiefer: What?
Em Schulz: "They ask him again if he was doing drugs or drinking, and at this point, he's very frustrated and asked if he's being arrested because if not, he wants to leave."
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, he's out working.
Em Schulz: "So the head honcho comes in and says, do you know what day it is today?"
Christine Schiefer: What?
Em Schulz: "And he says, Wednesday. And the cop says, are you sure? And my friends pull out... My, my friend pulls out his phone and says, see, Wednesday. And the cop pulled out his phone and said, no, it's Saturday."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "He was like, how is it Saturday when I just drove all night to get here? My phone says it's Wednesday."
Christine Schiefer: What?
Em Schulz: "No, this is a trick. You guys are playing with me. And the cop said no, your family reported you missing on Wednesday."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] Oh shit. So that's why they're wondering like, why he's... If he's on drugs, like if he's been on a bender or something. [gasp]
Em Schulz: "They haven't heard from you since Tuesday," so he's been missing for four days and thought he just drove overnight to Vegas.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God!
Em Schulz: "So they say, so they say he's free to go and he leaves confused as fuck. He turns off his phone and turns it back on, and the date changed to Saturday. All of the sudden, he gets a flood of calls, texts, voicemails, everything."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: His family had been trying to reach him for days, and this is... He... His phone wasn't getting any signal, but people were trying to reach him the whole time.
Christine Schiefer: He was like calling... Yes. Oh God!
Em Schulz: He calls his... Probably because he fucking said, everything's normal, and they went, let me call him back.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Yeah. They were like, something terrible is about to happen.
Em Schulz: "All of a sudden, he gets a flood of phone calls, blah, blah, blah. His family has been trying to reach him for days. He calls his dad and everyone is freaking the fuck out."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "He tried explaining how he had only been driving at night, but I swear something at night that is unexplainable happened, a glitch or abduction, something. He had... He had driven that route many times before and had seen UFOs at night and sent me videos of them... "
Christine Schiefer: Oh God.
Em Schulz: "I don't know, the whole thing is just creepy as fuck. He's told me many more stories of his truck driving adventures, but that's a story for another day. Let's just say it's spooky on the West Coast. Have a good day."
Christine Schiefer: Wow!
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Wowza. To miss... To suddenly just miss... Be missing days, that's incredible.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I... And it's not like, oh, maybe I... Maybe I had like, what's it, highway hypnosis or something...
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Where you just kinda get... Like, maybe I just ignored the hours...
Christine Schiefer: Like, fell asleep, yeah, like zoned out.
Em Schulz: The sun rising or some... Maybe I pulled over, I thought I took a shorter nap than I... Or a longer...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: Shorter nap than I did and I woke up and it was still dark and... But like, this is like four fucking days, like, you haven't eaten, you haven't gone to the bathroom...
Christine Schiefer: That's the thing. And guess what else? You haven't gotten gas.
Em Schulz: And you haven't taken your foot off the fucking pedal...
Christine Schiefer: Yes...
Em Schulz: So like what happened.
Christine Schiefer: What the fuck is going on?
Em Schulz: Hmm. I don't know. Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Aliens. The fact that he didn't see any cars for a while...
Em Schulz: Yeah, I don't like that.
Christine Schiefer: Feels like an... You know what if feels like, an implanted memory.
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: Like when they implant a memory and then they forget a certain detail, so like the aliens will implant like a memory of driving, but then they'll forget to add all the other cars. So, he's like, this is weird, this doesn't...
Em Schulz: It's like, like it's like the uncanny valley thing of like...
Christine Schiefer: Uncanny, yeah. It's like...
Em Schulz: This is what you saw, yeah? And it's like, ooh.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it's like this is close enough. It's like the stories that they tell are... Sometimes Astonishing Legends tells where people who have been abducted will wake up and like their shoes will be on the wrong feet, as if somebody was like...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, this is, this is where this goes.
Em Schulz: You want some ketchup for your apple? Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Right. Like this goes here and it's like, why, like... Or like one guy, his socks, I think it was Terry Lovelace, like, his socks were inside out and he's like, I would never have like put my socks on inside...
Em Schulz: Ugh.
Christine Schiefer: Just like weird shit where you're like, what have they been doing? And then they dressed me wrong. Oh my God.
Em Schulz: Mm.
Christine Schiefer: This is so scary, Vic. What the F?
Em Schulz: Ugh... Well we got...
Christine Schiefer: This is a great birthday episode, Em.
Em Schulz: I know. Well, done, Eva. We've got one more and I...
Christine Schiefer: Eva, can you do this every month, 'cause this is great, uh like...
Em Schulz: I...
Christine Schiefer: Always great, but I like when they're just pandering just to... When these emails are just for us. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I crept on the uh subject line of the last one, it's...
Christine Schiefer: You did?
Em Schulz: Uh, you're gonna like it.
Christine Schiefer: I haven't seen it yet. Okay. "The Vanishing Onion and a Glitch in the Matrix."
Em Schulz: Dun dun!
Christine Schiefer: Okay, I'm so ready... This is... Dun dun... This is uh from Matilda, she/her, and it says, "Hi, Em, Christine, Eva and anyone else who may read this email. I absolutely love the podcast, it took me a while to start listening because I don't drink and thought you'd have a lot of content about drinking... "
Em Schulz: Fair enough.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, little do we know... Little do we know. Uh, Em's just the milkshake connoisseur that draws everyone in, draws all the nondrinkers in. Umm let's see... "I thought you'd have a lot of content about drinking. Imagine my surprise when I finally caved in the dark days of 2020," I love that we had to break you to get you to listen to our show...
Em Schulz: Yeah. We just had a... We had... We set up the pandemic actually, just for you.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we set the perfect context for you to fall in love with us. [laughter] Isn't that romantic? Uh, "finally caved in the dark days of 2020, only to discover that Em was drinking milkshakes. "I have loved the podcast ever since... " See, Em? "And I even subscribe to the Patreon." Oh, that's nice. "So I listen to the After Chats, Dark, Hours, whatever Christine has named them this week." [laughter] Man, I feel like Matilda knows more about me than I know about myself.
Em Schulz: [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "I could continue singing you praises, but let's get on with my story. When I was a kid, my dad had a job where he worked 7:00 AM to 3:00 PM while my mom worked a more traditional 9 to 5 plus traffic. Therefore, every weekday, my dad cooked dinner. I loved being in the kitchen with my dad. He would always explain what he was doing and we'd taste along the way. It was one of my true happy places. One night when we were cooking dinner, my dad grabbed an onion out of the fridge. As he went to put it on the counter, he dropped it. I saw this out of the corner of my eye as I was setting the table, and I heard the thud as the onion hit the ground, except when he went to pick up the onion, he couldn't find it. We started looking everywhere, just glancing around at first, then down on our hands and knees, looking under things between the fridge and the wall; even looking in the hallway in case it rolled out of the kitchen. Eventually he just grabbed another onion from the fridge and said, I guess we'll find it when it starts to smell. We never did. That onion vanished from our kitchen floor into another dimension."
Em Schulz: Oh my God!
Christine Schiefer: "More than once, my dad told me that he was glad I had witnessed it too or else he would have thought he was losing his mind."
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: "That alone is strange enough. However, there's more to the story. Twelve years later, I moved states for grad school. My parents and I drove in two separate cars over the course of two days to my new apartment I had rented, sight unseen. Side note: It thankfully ended up being a great apartment with my only complaint being a neighbor who loudly sang 'Circle of Life' from the Lion King every single morning in the shower for the two years that I lived there." [laughter]
Em Schulz: I would get them evicted.
Christine Schiefer: I feel like I would... The morning that it's quiet, I would wake up and be like, I needed it until this moment...
Em Schulz: I'd be like, someone's dead. There is a story here...
Christine Schiefer: Now... Now sing, sing, please. Yes. I don't want to get involved. "Before we began unloading, we explored the apartment. It was left empty and super clean, except when my dad opened the coat closet and called me over. There, in the middle of the empty closet, was an onion."
Em Schulz: Ugh!
Christine Schiefer: Are you kidding with me right now?
Em Schulz: But wait, did you watch it maybe fall in love by the rocks, like I'm kind of...
Christine Schiefer: Was it smoking a cigarette and looking with eyes that just spoke of warmth...
Em Schulz: With a smile that makes you feel safe, in a red sweatshirt?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. No, just like shitting all over... [laughter]
Em Schulz: And did the onion kind of turn around because he saw a little girl walk by?
Christine Schiefer: And then you got married, but you still haven't told him about it?
Em Schulz: When will you tell the onion the story?
Christine Schiefer: Em?
Em Schulz: The story of you.
Christine Schiefer: Em, other Em? Oh. The story of us is so beautiful. Come on. Okay, let's see. Can you believe though, your dad's into your... You into your apartment years later, which by the way, it sounds like such a... It sounds like such a pivotal moment, like you're a kid, you're cooking together in the kitchen, as your like your, your daddy-daughter days, you know, you get these memories.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: And then like something weird happens and you're like, oh, that's odd, and then like decade later, he's moving you out into your own home in your own kitchen, and there's the fucking onion. Oh my God, what a beautiful story.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Umm. Let's see, "It was an onion, the same type we had lost all those years before. My dad and I exchanged a look and could not believe what we were seeing; just like we didn't know where the onion went, we did not know where this onion came from, but I like to believe it was some crazy glitch in the matrix and that onion came back to us, and because I know you are the type to like closure, no, we..." Thank you. I was wondering this. "We did not eat or cook with that onion, we kept it on the counter for a couple of days, and then eventually threw it out." Are you serious? I would have put that thing in a safe, with ice on it.
Em Schulz: Really? What... Really? You wouldn't glue it to a golf... A golf ball case and show it around the country and name it Lemon?
Christine Schiefer: I would give it a kiss and I would say, you're the symbolism of my family love... Yeah, I would adopt it into my own home...
Em Schulz: What's that fucking Linda Belcher song? If you are not real...
Christine Schiefer: Real... Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: How come I feel this way? Like that...
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Little babies.
Em Schulz: This sounds like just the beginning of Christine and Lemon, but in another alternate realm.
Christine Schiefer: Just like so much mental illness. But I do wonder if umm, if maybe... Okay, wait, there's another paragraph that I wanna read real quick before I say this next part. This is the end of it. It says, "My dad passed in 2021." First of all, I'm so sorry, "and I miss him every single day. We had so many kitchen adventures, but this one was the strangest. Now, I cook with my kids and I hope that we are making great memories too. Thanks for everything, Matilda, she/her, Capricorn, Team Milkshake."
Em Schulz: Aw.
Christine Schiefer: Matilda, this is my thought. Like maybe this was your dad, like after...
Em Schulz: I was going to say...
Christine Schiefer: Hear me... Hear me out. That did not land... Okay... Hey, is this thing on? [laughter] Okay.
Em Schulz: Wait. Like, did he die... Did he die after they found the onion though?
Christine Schiefer: Yes, sorry, that's... Sorry, yes. To clarify, like maybe in, in the afterlife, your dad was like, oh, when we had that weird onion thing, like, that was such a memorable thing, like, hey, I know, I'll put the onion for them... No. But no...
Em Schulz: I don't... I mean, oh, oh. [laughter] I see where your... I see, I see, I see...
Christine Schiefer: Like he did it later like from the future...
Em Schulz: Like future ghost him...
Christine Schiefer: Yes. Like put the...
Em Schulz: Created this ruse, so while they were together, they could have this bond.
Christine Schiefer: Well, not even created the first thing, maybe, maybe just the second...
Em Schulz: Oh like future... Future him like put, plopped the little onion there...
Christine Schiefer: It's like, here's an onion as like a symbol, like maybe now, Matilda, after you listen to this, maybe you'll walk outside and there'll just like be an onion on the sidewalk, you know?
Em Schulz: That would be lovely. Like like how people...
Christine Schiefer: That would be a fun little like symbol...
Em Schulz: Like how people umm in the afterlife are like, like pennies or butterflies or something...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, nickels, dimes. Right.
Em Schulz: Your dad's an onion, but if he's a big stinky onion. No...
Christine Schiefer: He's like, he's just like Shrek, that big ogre. Umm.
Em Schulz: He's got a lot of layers. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yes, and no, I think that's such a cool sign, especially like if it is an onion, I would be curious, Matilda, if you, first of all, believe in, you know, signs and things like that, which if you listen this podcast probably, but umm... Yeah, if you, if you could let me know. I'm curious if you ever see onion... Maybe you see onions or maybe that's like your little inside joke with your dad. Umm...
Em Schulz: Yeah. My question is if you're a tattoo girly, I have a hunch, you have an onion somewhere on you.
Christine Schiefer: Oh! At least, at least one.
Em Schulz: And if not, this is us requesting that, so.
Christine Schiefer: Please! I wish I had something so beautiful and symbolic, I could tattoo on myself, you know? That's a beautiful... A beautiful story, Matilda. And like such...
Em Schulz: Yeah. I mean, Christine's gonna one day have a tattoo of a lemon, so you two will bond in that way.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Ah. I can't wait.
Em Schulz: Well, thank you everyone. This was like just like such a good set of stories...
Christine Schiefer: God, these are beautiful!
Em Schulz: And thank you, Eva, for finding them, thank you for curating them and picked them out for us.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Umm, this was... We haven't even actually celebrated our real birthday yet, but I already know... Like, I... This kick started it. I feel like I'm in the zone. I'm ready to party. I'm ready to celebrate.
Christine Schiefer: I, I... You remember I said I wasn't in the zone, now, I'm like, hell yeah. This is a great time of year.
Em Schulz: I've been in the zone and now we're both there, and now our energy is matched.
Christine Schiefer: Thank you. Thank you for waiting for me. I'm so happy to be here.
Em Schulz: We are gonna go umm celebrate our birthdays now and umm, you know what, I give all of you permission to celebrate right along with us, wherever you are, so if you wanna send us a present and cake, you go for it, if you wanna eat a... Not eat a present, buy some cake... Wait, if you wanna... Hang on.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: In honor of other people having a birthday that wishes to be celebrated everywhere, if you would like to buy yourself a present and you needed a reason, today is the day, and if you'd like to eat some cake and you needed a reason, today's the day. So uh, happy birthday to all of us, but especially you, Christine...
Christine Schiefer: Oh especially you, Em.
Em Schulz: And...
Christine Schiefer: That's...
Em Schulz: Why...
Christine Schiefer: We...
Em Schulz: Drink.