Listener Stories: Vol. 82
Stories:
1: A Cowboy Ghost for Christine - Lauren (she/her/hers)
2: A Haunted Doll Outed My Boyfriend - Alex G. (He/Him/His)
3: Peggy the doll - Leigh (She/her)
4: Harold the Doll - I almost died - Madison (she/her)
5: Laurel Canyon Haunting - Olivia
6: Listeners episode - Amanda (They/Them)
7: Creepy doll on my property! - April (she/her)
Does anyone else think August is just the Twilight Zone of months, marking imminent doom? We're riding out our month-long scaries by reading your very creepy stories... of haunted dolls! It's hot haunted doll summer, if you will, and we're creating a Tinder to connect haunted doll aficionados with the perfect spooky vessels. Be forewarned we mention all the scary staples so if you skipped those original episodes you may want to listen with caution. We may be idiots but we're no idiots... and that's why we drink!
Transcript
[intro music]
Christine Schiefer: All right, we're rolling Em.
Em Schulz: It's August.
Christine Schiefer: August.
Em Schulz: Umm, how do you feel about August?
Christine Schiefer: Back to school!
Em Schulz: Do you have a, a good feeling, a bad feeling, a neutral feeling?
Christine Schiefer: I have a bad feeling about August because it always made me think I was going back to school.
Em Schulz: Thank you! That's what I think.
Christine Schiefer: Seriously. Like, I don't understand this month. I feel like people act like, oh, it's summertime. And in my head it's like, no, it's depressing 'cause school is starting again.
Em Schulz: Yeah. It's the twilight zone of like, oh, I'm supposed to be happy, but all I can feel is...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Eminent doom. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: It's like the Sunday scaries, but for August.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: For a month. And I feel bad 'cause I, I have a lot of friends and family whose birthdays are in August, so I'm not trying to discount your excitement and happiness. It's just like, it's rough times 'cause it's also...
Em Schulz: Also...
Christine Schiefer: So hot and it feels like summer and then you have to go to school.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I feel like in August, if you're doing anything for fun, it's because you have to cram it in now 'cause you only have a few weeks left.
Christine Schiefer: Right. And like, I shouldn't even be saying this 'cause I'm, I'm spending like two and a half weeks in Europe in August. I'm like having the best time. But in my head I just revert to that like huuuh...
Em Schulz: I do too. When you spend up until 18 years old...
Christine Schiefer: That's true.
Em Schulz: Hating August.
Christine Schiefer: Every year. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, yeah. [laughter] It's, and I, I also have friends whose birthdays are in August, but ever... But it was like, even in my mind, secretly, I was like, oh, when it's your, because they were also late August. They were like the 20s. And so I was like, ugh, the second it's your birthday. Like what are we even celebrating? Like... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Like we're probably studying for a test.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Screw you.
Em Schulz: Uh, because my birth, our birthdays, you know, that was the beginning a summer.
Christine Schiefer: Like fucking prime time. It's like summer is starting and we can have a pool party to kick off the year.
Em Schulz: Everyone is, everyone is excited. They're celebrating their birthday, but they're also celebrating their unal... Unadulterated joy for the next three months.
Christine Schiefer: That's exactly right. We're free. There's freedom.
Em Schulz: And then at like my friend Brandy's birthday, we'd be like argh, congratulations. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Are you okay? Like, do normal people feel this way?
Em Schulz: I think only the mentally unwell, but...
Christine Schiefer: Oh. So most of us. Okay. Got it. [laughter] Well, Em, I will say, umm, I am not in great spirits today, so that might be a part of it 'cause I'm, umm, not able to eat food for...
Em Schulz: Why? Oh, here we go.
Christine Schiefer: 36 hours, something like that.
Em Schulz: If anyone, uh, just listened to our episode 338, we were discussing this, but poor Christine's tummy and tushy have a doctor's appointment and she can't eat because of that. Stinks.
Christine Schiefer: And I can't even eat the good flavors of like, popsicles and like, you know, I can't drink anything that's not like clear.
Em Schulz: Mmm.
Christine Schiefer: So I got myself a Sprite. Pfft.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: The way that you scoffed at Sprite is the way I scoffed at my friend Brandy's birthday in August.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: You just did this...
Christine Schiefer: August.
Em Schulz: Like I have never seen like one body make an entire eye roll. But you just did it.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: You were like, I got a Sprite. Pfft. It's supposed to be fun, I guess.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. What a treat. God, I'm a demon.
Em Schulz: Well what about, I think San Pellegrinos are all clear, even the flavored ones.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, that's true. Well, the ones I have are like the blood orange and they're like kind of reddish.
Em Schulz: Oh shit.
Christine Schiefer: And I'm not supposed to have anything red. 'cause it...
Em Schulz: I was literally gonna suggest the blood orange ones. Me too.
Christine Schiefer: Because those are my favorite. And I literally have one in the fridge. I'm like so annoyed.
Em Schulz: Oh my gosh.
Christine Schiefer: Anyway, it's fine. It's first world problems. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm fine. I'm good.
Em Schulz: Well, no one wants anything up their butt, you know? So like...
Christine Schiefer: No it's not, well some people do.
Em Schulz: Some people do. But not...
Christine Schiefer: A lot of, I would argue a lot of people do.
Em Schulz: I would argue medically? No one does.
Christine Schiefer: Medically. Maybe not medically, probably not. Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: So I think even though it's a first world problem, it is a universal fear.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Yeah. And I, I, I feel, I hope, I'm hopeful they will sedate me some places, like don't really, I don't know. I mean, I think...
Em Schulz: [gasp] Oh, Christine...
Christine Schiefer: I think they'll...
Em Schulz: I would've, I would call every place...
Christine Schiefer: But after your story...
Em Schulz: Oh yeah. After my story, look after my story, I can't even get into my fucking vein situation currently 'cause it's ongoing. But...
Christine Schiefer: God, God, God.
Em Schulz: I, do you know what I found out, which like wow just pisses me off and like, maybe it was based on location, but I'm reading it as the patriarchy is, uh, my friend Tiana was in town and we were talking about, Umm, I have really bad heartburn as pretty much everyone on Earth knows. And I have to get one of those like things where they like put it through your nose and down your throat, the camera.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, an endoscopy.
Em Schulz: Yeah. And so I don't have to, anytime soon I, look after the veins in my heart, I'm like taking a God damn break.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, forget it.
Em Schulz: But eventually I have to do that and I will actively avoid getting that done because it sounds miserable. And Tiana said, oh, my husband had to get that and he got sedated for it. But anyone else I know who have all been women, never once even had sedation as an option. And so it just feels...
Christine Schiefer: They definitely sedate, sedated me for mine in Cincinnati.
Em Schulz: Really? Okay. Allison's gotten one. My mom's gotten one. My neighbor got one, one of my childhood friends got one none...
Christine Schiefer: I was like pretty much out...
Em Schulz: None of them were even sedated. It wasn't even an option. It was like, okay, we'll sit here and we're just gonna shove it down your throat and tolerate it. And then that's...
Christine Schiefer: No. No. I definitely was sedated for that. So if that's any consolation, I mean...
Em Schulz: Okay, good. 'Cause for a second I was like, are they only giving poor, weak little men? Like, I was like, I just like really got so feminist all of a sudden. I was like, are you telling me...
Christine Schiefer: Wow. [laughter] So that's what it took. Huh? [laughter]
Em Schulz: I was just like, I was just like, why on earth also is he getting sedation and nobody else is?
Christine Schiefer: Em, a lot of times like you can just like, I've done this 'cause I was so scared for my colonoscopy in Los Angeles that I said like, I'd really like to be put under. And they were like, okay, we can add that to your chart. Like that you'd like extra sedative.
Em Schulz: Oh, anytime I can be sedated. I, I am...
Christine Schiefer: But like, you should definitely say it before the appointment. 'Cause they, my doctor put it in the chart and then they were like, don't worry.
Em Schulz: With my, trust me, the second I walked into maybe getting my veins ripped out of my leg, the first thing I said was, I would like to be put under.
Christine Schiefer: But they didn't, did they?
Em Schulz: No, they don't do that for the procedure.
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: Not just at that location apparently.
Christine Schiefer: Well, I think they should. Uh...
Em Schulz: Me too.
Christine Schiefer: No. Well, obviously that too, but I think they should for an, for an endoscopy. If you, if you, uh, ask for it.
Em Schulz: That, now that I know. Well that was what I was gonna say next is now that I know that someone has been put under for that, there's no way, I'm not being put under for that, no way.
Christine Schiefer: Absolutely. I would never, I would not do it again. I would never have done it if I hadn't thought it was not...
Em Schulz: Yeah, right?
Christine Schiefer: Unconscious experience.
Em Schulz: Oh well then let me, uh, re-advise you on your, on your, uh, on what you've already said about yourself anyway. But please definitely make sure you're getting sedated if you can.
Christine Schiefer: Absolutely. Always. Yes, please put me, I always put me underneath.
Em Schulz: O-U-T.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, out cold. Umm, so anyway, this is the August listeners episode. Clearly we're bringing some really special energy to this one.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: We have a lot of personal fiery grievances.
Christine Schiefer: Fiery.
Em Schulz: First of all it's August.
Christine Schiefer: Indeed. And, uh, isn't it almost Leo sea... Oh, it is Leo season, right?
Em Schulz: Early August is Leo season.
Christine Schiefer: Speaking of fiery is what I was trying to go for.
Em Schulz: And your baby, is a Leo.
Christine Schiefer: No...
Em Schulz: Libra.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Dude, October 1st.
Em Schulz: Okay, well I know, but you hear Leo-na, and I'm like, well, that would've been... You know.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that, well, I remember being pregnant and being like, oh, it's Leo season. Okay. I guess it's acceptable if she's born now. And then Blaise was like, "No, because she'd be two months early." And I was like, "Oh, right."
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: That part's not good. I don't want that part. So never mind.
Em Schulz: Uh, Well...
Christine Schiefer: Let me grab my Sprite. I'm so sorry. I left it in my little mini fridge. Is that okay?
Em Schulz: Okay. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Sorry. Sorry.
Em Schulz: By the way, anybody who is listening, uh, we did trash August, but Leo season is my favorite goddamn season. I've never met a Leo I didn't like. And Leo's are the people who like, when I...
Christine Schiefer: Sorry, I didn't have headphones on, what?
Em Schulz: Oh, I wasn't talking to you. So that's interesting.
Christine Schiefer: [laughs] Sorry. I'll take them back off.
Em Schulz: Uh, so I was saying that my favorite sign, I love a Libra. I, but my my go-to favorite is always a Leo. Anytime I meet somebody, I never know their sign... Like there's some people who can just look at someone and be like, mmm, you're a Taurus, aren't you? I can only do that for Leos and I...
Christine Schiefer: Interesting.
Em Schulz: But I'll never guess you're a Leo.
Christine Schiefer: I mean you literally did just call, call my baby a Leo. So like, maybe you're not as good as you think. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Well, I'm saying, I've never actually like... How people can say you're a Taurus, aren't you? I've never been able to do that. But with Leos...
Christine Schiefer: You've only nailed it with the Leo.
Em Schulz: Well, I only have ever met people that ended up being Leos. Like I, I can't just like guess something about a person, but anytime I've met somebody and I fucking loved them on site, they always end up being a Leo. So I, I guess I should be able to ask if they're a Leo, but I also don't wanna look like an idiot if I'm wrong.
Christine Schiefer: That's true. And a Leo might tell you...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: That you like...
Em Schulz: I love a Leo.
Christine Schiefer: I know.
Em Schulz: I love a Leo.
Christine Schiefer: I like a Leo too, but they're a little... I don't know. I'm a little afraid of them. I feel like with an Aries, I'm more like in tune with with an Aries and with a Leo I feel a little more like intimidated, I guess is the right word. Umm...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. They've got a very... A bold, a bold personality.
Christine Schiefer: Bold energy. And I... It's a good thing, don't get me wrong. Umm...
Em Schulz: It's always... It's a bold, creative energy though. And I'm intimidated in like a, "Do I wanna be you," kind of thing. So.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, right. That's exactly it. It's like a good intimidation.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, anyway, we're 10 minutes in, Eva's not here. Can you tell? 'Cause we're so off fucking track.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: But, uh, Eva sent us some stories...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: And she did say, I should go first.
Em Schulz: Okay, cool.
Christine Schiefer: So, oh my Lord!
Em Schulz: I just saw it too.
Christine Schiefer: First subject, A Cowboy Ghost for Christine. Ah, thank you. Uh, this is from Lauren, she/her/hers, and it says, "Hey, all. I hope it's not too late, but when you mention spooky experiences related to our childhoods," cool that we did that, don't remember. "I immediately thought of Hell's House. Growing up summers were spent visiting my great aunt Joanie, who lived in a small Colorado Town. Being kids, she let us do basically whatever we wanted, but the one rule was to never go to Hell's House, which was directly behind hers." I mean, you and I like, we hear that and we're like, "okay, let's go to Hell's House."
Em Schulz: I feel like the second you fall asleep, Joanie, I'm leaving.
Christine Schiefer: Joanie, we would never do that as we're like packing our bindle to move into Hell's House. [chuckle]
Em Schulz: Yeah. Pinky swear, as I'm charging up the EMF detectors.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Pinky swear, aunt Jonie, we would never. "Everything about that house seemed straight out of a horror movie. The doors leading inside had been removed, so it was easy to look into the house and see that the floor was covered in clothes, trash, old toys. And there were even pictures of a family strewn about."
Em Schulz: Ugh.
Christine Schiefer: Oh God, oh God, oh God.
Em Schulz: Gross.
Christine Schiefer: "Despite no one living there and the house no longer having electricity, my aunt Jonie described seeing the house light up at night, hearing voices and scratches covering the walls and doors. When we were really young and dumb, my cousins siblings and I would go to the house"... Okay, you get it?
Em Schulz: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: She gets it.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: "And even though I was always scared to go in my cousin Brandon wasn't, he and my sister would go in to see what they could find. And one day Brandon brought home what was dubbed the demon doll."
Em Schulz: Forget it.
Christine Schiefer: For Christ.
Em Schulz: Brandon, come on man.
Christine Schiefer: That's me. And then Em's like, "Christine, you broke the one rule, which is like, don't bring home any haunted dolls."
Em Schulz: Well, I did that one year, uh, in high school. I, we...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that's right!
Em Schulz: Uh, there was a go-to haunted place, The Slaughter Pen.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: And I stole... I stole a few things from there, but the one year I stole a bike that truly just like came out of thin air, I... We'd never seen it before it... And it was from like the '30s and it looked like it was brand new or something. So it made me think like a little ghost boy, just... It just appeared out of nowhere.
Christine Schiefer: So you were like, "oh, this little Ghost boy's bike. I'll take it."
Em Schulz: Yeah, I took it. I actually took it to college too. And, uh...
Christine Schiefer: What is wrong with you?
Em Schulz: Uh, and then... And it was... To be fair, I didn't steal it from any living person. I know that. It was in the middle of a fucking cornfield and we were by ourselves or so I thought. And umm, and then we... I ended up having to bring it back 'cause it was so damaging spiritually. So...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, the ghost was probably like, 'That was my one and only like Christmas gift ever and you took it."
Em Schulz: I remember, I remember just standing in a field when I brought it back. Just screaming, "I'm sorry." [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Backing away.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Did you ride it into the field? Like, "I'm sorry I'm coming."
Em Schulz: No, I walked it out of shame. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: As you should. I think you did the right thing.
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter] Alright, well hopefully Brandon, uh, you know, maybe does the same thing at the end of the story.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Let's hope. "It was a baby doll that was burnt to shit and it looked like where it wasn't burnt someone had written on it."
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: "The plastic on its head was warped to the point that Joanie always described it as his horns." Oh dear.
Em Schulz: So wait, Joanie is in on this now? Joanie...
Christine Schiefer: Joanie's like, "I mean, I told you not to, but now that you did, like, what's up?"
Em Schulz: I guess we got something to talk about. Yeah.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "Brandon brought this doll home and Joanie wasn't having any of it." Okay.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: "She told Brandon time and time again to get that thing out of her house, but Brandon always refused. He kept it with him 24/7 and even slept with it at night."
Em Schulz: Oh, I'm starting to wonder if Brandon has the doll, if the doll has Brandon.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Wow, Em that's a good one-liner. "That being said, one morning Brandon woke up to find the doll wasn't in his bed anymore. Joanie was less than pleased when Brandon insisted on checking to see if the doll went home to Hell's House."
Em Schulz: Bye.
Christine Schiefer: "Sure enough, [chuckle] when we went back to the house, we found the doll placed neatly on the kitchen counter staring at the back door as if it was expecting us. Even Brandon didn't wanna go inside to get the doll. I don't know what scares me more, the idea of the doll getting up and walking back to the Hell House on its own or something entering Joanie's house to retrieve the doll."
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: "When Brandon finally grew the courage the following day to actually get the doll, it was gone and we haven't seen it since." Dun dun dun.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: "Over the years, there have been several paranormal investigators come to visit the house, catching EVPs of screaming and things being thrown around. Honestly, it's a wonder the house hasn't been condemned. Growing up in an incredibly superstitious family, I grew up with all kinds of ghost stories, but to experience that doll was a whole other thing. Anyways, I can't say enough how much I love the show and the fact that this podcast has given me life over the last couple years and I hope this story brings at least a fraction of the joy the podcast gives me. I'm probably worse at ending stories that I... Than I am at starting them, which says something. So that's it." And there's not even a punctuation, which I love.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Just gonna leave it.
Em Schulz: Irish goodbyed her own...
Christine Schiefer: Just... [laughter]
Em Schulz: On her own...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, drop it.
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, I, wow I, I don't, I don't, like what if Joanie took it back? But Joanie probably would have thrown it away. I feel like...
Em Schulz: If I, if I were, if I were Joanie in the scenario you're coming up with where she brought the doll back, I would have grabbed it and just like thrown it into an open window.
Christine Schiefer: You wouldn't have placed it like gently on the counter.
Em Schulz: I wouldn't have gone in that house alone at night by myself.
Christine Schiefer: Especially if you're so superstitious. Yeah. And I guess you wouldn't have thrown it away either. Maybe maybe just like tossed it back in and been like,"Okay, bye."
Em Schulz: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the very least I would have like left her on the porch of my own house or something so she wasn't inside. Be like if you wanna take her, take her...
Christine Schiefer: Just like take it away from the house. Yeah. That's creepy. I don't like that it also then disappeared afterward.
Em Schulz: I also have so many questions for Joanie. I'm like, when you moved in...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, Joanie.
Em Schulz: Was that house like that?
Christine Schiefer: For real. We need more info from Joan.
Em Schulz: For someone who's so superstitious, did you see that house and think I'm gonna move here anyway and just have that creep show next to me?
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: Or did you, do you know the origins and you watched it?
Christine Schiefer: That's a great point.
Em Schulz: You know?
Christine Schiefer: And I love that like it's so interesting that paranormal investigators have been, which means it's like known enough.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Like it's well known enough. Umm, and nobody clearly lives there. I wonder, I wonder where it is.
Em Schulz: I was gonna say, do people live there? That's why there's like clothes strewn about. Maybe there was like someone who's unhoused.
Christine Schiefer: Well, no. It said the doors are missing and...
Em Schulz: Mmm. Oy. Wow, I just don't like it. But I also, you know I, the slaughter pen also had things like strewn about that were personal objects and it was just, it was so weird 'cause it felt like you were...
Christine Schiefer: It gives that creepy vibe of like they just up and left and you're like, "Why?"
Em Schulz: Oh, it felt apocalyptic. If you looked for the longest time, you couldn't get into the house, umm, now you really can't. They've officially boarded the house up. But...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: When you look through the windows, the cabinets were still like, still had the cat food from the '50s in there.
Christine Schiefer: Ugh, so creepy.
Em Schulz: And like a microwave was still on the counter and like cabinets were open as if someone had just like, like wiped all the, the food out into a bag or something. It's so eerie. Like they just had to bolt.
Christine Schiefer: That is apocalyptic. It feels like zombie apocalypse. Like just...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Make a run for it.
Em Schulz: All right. Our next one is called A Haunted Doll Outed My Boyfriend. Okay. So the theme this month folks happens to be dolls and...
Christine Schiefer: Which is like one of our least favorite topics in in that we're scared of it.
Em Schulz: Yes ma'am. That's the truth. Okay, so let's just all buckle in as I'm coming down from an anxiety attack that I have to now read about dolls.
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: That was a quick one.
Em Schulz: [laughter] A Haunted Doll Outed My Boyfriend. Oh God. Okay. This is from Alex G who uses He/Him/His pronouns and the story goes "Hello And That's Why We Drink crew and most importantly lemon".
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: Umm, okay.
Christine Schiefer: Pfft. Correct.
Em Schulz: "My name is Alex and my pronouns are He/Him/His." I love that we reiterated that. "I started listening to the podcast in January of last year and I was instantly hooked after ca... Trying to catch up on the podcast for a little over a year. I'm finally in the home stretch. I wanted to start off by saying thank you for your hard work that goes into making the show. The show has brought me many distractions and many laughs throughout the course of the last year and a half and I'm very thankful."
Christine Schiefer: That's so nice.
Em Schulz: "I wanted to write in for the upcoming June." Okay. "Listeners episode."
Christine Schiefer: Lol.
Em Schulz: "Because I have a story that is both paranormal and something related to pride. My ie, my boyfriend's coming out story."
Christine Schiefer: Every month is pride month so here we go.
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Even August.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Even the shitty month of August. I'm just kidding.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I'm sorry. August birthdays.
Em Schulz: It's poor August everyone's just...
Christine Schiefer: I know.
Em Schulz: Crying right now. Uh, it's someone's August 1st birthday right now by the way.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God. They were so excited for a birthday wish. Happy birthday to you. I'm so sorry.
Em Schulz: I, I wish for you an extra month of summer vacation.
Christine Schiefer: I do too.
Em Schulz: "So my boyfriend helped me write this. So I made sure to get his permission before sharing and here we go. In January of 2019, I had been dating my current boyfriend of almost four years for a few months at the time. We were hanging out late one Sunday night because it was the night before Martin Luther King Junior day and neither of us had to work the next day. Little did we both know that our night was going to end with a bathroom full of blood and emergency surgery."
Christine Schiefer: What?!
Em Schulz: Alex.
Christine Schiefer: The Fuck.
Em Schulz: Excellent writing, Alex.
Christine Schiefer: I am on the edge of my seat.
Em Schulz: "My boyfriend and I just had a tonsillectomy." My, my boyfriend and I? No, my boyfriend. My boyfriend. I thought it was like...
Christine Schiefer: I was like, sorry there's a partner activity, Em, should I be getting my veins removed too?
Em Schulz: Like a two for one deal or something at the hospital?
Christine Schiefer: Em, you wanna come over Monday or tomorrow? We have a little butt, butt camera action.
Em Schulz: No my, I, my butt is like the only thing that doesn't have an issue going on so I'm gonna keep it that way. Thank you.
Christine Schiefer: For now.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: For now. "My boyfriend had just had a tonsillectomy and had a pretty rough go of it in terms of his recovery, but he was..."
Christine Schiefer: It's supposed to be a really hard thing for grownups to get... Yeah.
Em Schulz: For adults. Yeah, it's... I had mine at 20, at like 21 or something, and it rocked me. It sucked.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah it sounds, it sounds fucking terrible.
Em Schulz: "My boyfriend had just had a tonsillectomy, but he was 12 days in, and most people are back to normal after 14 days. Because of that, we decided to kick back and watch Bagel Bites, of course."
Christine Schiefer: Mmm.
Em Schulz: "We decided to watch him run around and yell at ghosts. The episode that we picked was the Island of Dolls episode, which happened to be the episode that featured our haunted doll friend named Harold."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: Oh my gosh. Harold the Doll is still one of my favorite episodes we ever did.
Christine Schiefer: I like... I'm sure it was mine too. I don't remember, but maybe I should relisten.
Em Schulz: It was the time in your old house and the EMF detector started freaking out.
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah!
Em Schulz: When it got super spooky.
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah. Ooh, that was creepy.
Em Schulz: That was a creepy one for sure. "As we're sitting and watching the show and comp... Completely out of nowhere, my boyfriend's incisions start to bleed profusely."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: We've, "which led to him spitting up and vomiting copious amounts of blood."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] Oh God.
Em Schulz: "The panic started to set in when the bleeding wouldn't stop and we..."
Christine Schiefer: Oh God.
Em Schulz: "Decided that we had to call a surgeon and perform... Call the surgeon that performed the tonsillectomy to figure out what to do. Due to a gruesome photo of the amount of blood that had been collecting on my bathroom counter and floor. The surgeon suggested that we get to the ER immediately..."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "To prep him for emergency surgery." Oh my God. "On the way to the hospital, my boyfriend was in such discomfort that he had continued vomiting blood out the window of my car on the highway."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] Imagine being behind, like duh duh duh, just heading home from a nice dinner at the Applebee's-Splat.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: God. Like imagine the horror [laughter]
Em Schulz: Oh no. Yeah. That's like truly out of Final Destination.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh. I just got chills just thinking about how like traumatizing that would be. [laughter]
Em Schulz: What the... I just like, I'm just imagining that it's obviously like a minivan full of like...
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Of course.
Em Schulz: At least four children holding ice cream cones.
Christine Schiefer: Of course, like having the...
Em Schulz: Like coming back from the fair.
Christine Schiefer: Their birthday is August 1st and they're like, this is the best day ever. [laughter]
Em Schulz: And then all of a sudden blood, you just hear like a sea of children screaming in the van [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: It is final destination. You're right. Like so horrifying.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: "Well, fortunately made it, we made it to the hospital. No problem. This is where the pride element of the story comes into play." Great.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I'm glad we're proud in this moment. [laughter]
Em Schulz: "I needed to stay with my boyfriend until his parents arrived at the hospital. The only problem was that his parents had been pretty vocally homophobic up to this point in regards to his older brother also being a member of the queer community."
Christine Schiefer: Uh-oh.
Em Schulz: "And that meant that my boyfriend wasn't out to his parents, and I had yet to meet them."
Christine Schiefer: Oh, no.
Em Schulz: "I had a pretty awkward run-in with his dad before leaving the hospital anxiously awaiting the results of the surgery. After my boyfriend came out of surgery, which this time he'd fully recovered from," thank God, "the doctor..."
Christine Schiefer: I can't believe he had to have surgery. Like that's really scary.
Em Schulz: Especially like surgery on an open wound. I just imagine it's...
Christine Schiefer: When you've already had a...
Em Schulz: Double pain. Oh.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. It's like I already went through that.
Em Schulz: "The doctor told him that he had never seen anyone bleed so heavily after being so far along into their recovery. Everyone was convinced he did something against his... Against guidance to cause such a failure. But he repeated over and over that he was just drinking water when the bleeding started. More importantly, he was soon in a pinch where he had to come out to his parents to explain the nature of our relationship."
Christine Schiefer: Oh, my lord.
Em Schulz: This ult... "This ultimately led to a very awkward conversation with his mother where he felt the need to explain his bleeding tonsils was not related to some other sexual act." [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I mean, I was thinking it, I wasn't gonna say it, but when, I mean, I wasn't thinking it until he said, oh, I like, they thought he did something against medical guidance, and I was like, what could he have done? Oh, but apparent, I believe that he was just drinking the water.
Em Schulz: I believe he was just drinking...
Christine Schiefer: And watching ZB.
Em Schulz: But wow. I, I didn't even think about that until I read it where I was like, oh my God, I can't imagine like the horror of having to say...
Christine Schiefer: And like...
Em Schulz: One I'm gay and two don't envision me doing this thing that I'm now putting in your mind by saying it all.
Christine Schiefer: And sorry, I vomited blood all over your minivan. I didn't realize that was even behind me.
Em Schulz: Right, right. Oh gosh. "Fast forward to last year when I was listening to the episode where Em covers Harold the Doll, and in that episode they mention, uh, that multiple people had experienced vomiting blood after looking at the doll or seeing photos of it."
Christine Schiefer: Wait, Whoa. I don't remember that.
Em Schulz: Me either. I am so sorry. Umm, [laughter] I instantly...
Christine Schiefer: You should have listened to that episode before. Sorry.
Em Schulz: I know. I know. "I instantly made the connection between that information and our indulgence into my Bagel Bite guilty pleasure back in 2019."
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: "That's when I realized that Harold the Doll essentially outed my boyfriend to his parents, and I knew that I needed to send this story in for the following June listeners episode."
Christine Schiefer: Is that not the most modern day like haunting activity? Like the ghost is like, it's not enough to make people vomit blood. I wanna get Like, I wanna do more psychological damage, you know/
Em Schulz: Like, it's not camp enough. I need to out you.
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I need to fucking ruin your relationship with, or at least strain your relationship with your parents. Now that is some deep psychological stuff.
Em Schulz: Vomiting blood is a crazy way for Harold the Doll to be like, Mmm, that'll do. You know [laughter] It's the... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Everyone thinks you did something dirtyyy.
Em Schulz: "I hope you enjoyed my story. Even if it doesn't make it on the episode." Oh, surprise. "My boyfriend's relationship with his parents is much better now and he loves lemon."
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: Ugh. Even though he should [laughter], "even though the show...
Christine Schiefer: Shut up.
Em Schulz: "Scares him too much to be a regular listener. And thank you to Eva for reading my email. If you like this story. And we were able to make sense of my writing, I have more stories to share. One of them includes, uh, stories from my old job that was haunted by something that definitely didn't seem to be human and was described as a darkness that was darker than dark by multiple co-workers."
Christine Schiefer: OMG.
Em Schulz: Uh, "but that's for another day. I guess. [laughter] Cheers, Alex."
Christine Schiefer: And it doesn't seem very, umm, very queer friendly to out somebody...
Em Schulz: At all...
Christine Schiefer: At the emergency room. So I guess Harold's, maybe not. Umm...
Em Schulz: An ally.
Christine Schiefer: Not an ally. Precisely. Okay, so, oh no.
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: I just scrolled and I was like, I literally almost with my mouth said, at least we're not talking about.
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: PTD.
Em Schulz: Christine.
Christine Schiefer: PTD, if you don't know stands for P-E-G-G-Y.
Em Schulz: The doll.
Christine Schiefer: The doll. And uh, it's the doll that causes all sorts of problems, has caused us many techno... Technological, electrical issues, and also, uh, caused our listeners many issues. So this is your warning.
Em Schulz: Umm, Eva isn't even here to fix our tech issues if we have any.
Christine Schiefer: I love that Eva's like, oh, how convenient. I actually have an appointment today.
Em Schulz: You're right. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Bye. [laughter]
Em Schulz: An appointment to sit on the couch and watch TV and not help with this one.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, and just a warning, if you are driving, I'm only, I'm only saying it because a shocking amount of people who listened to our PTD episode or who have been around this doll in person have said that they ended up in car accidents. So...
Christine Schiefer: Like, like nothing major. I mean, I will say like, we didn't, cause like, as far as I know, it was only a couple little fender benders, but just be careful. Okay?
Em Schulz: Just be careful.
Christine Schiefer: I love this first line. Okay. By the way, this is from Leigh, She/her, and it says, "Hey guys, not sure if you read your emails... "
[laughter]
Em Schulz: No, we don't.
Christine Schiefer: Honestly, I should be offended. But you're correct.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: You're correct to, to worry and to, to assume.
Em Schulz: It's like... It, it hurts that you were right.
Christine Schiefer: It hurts, but it's true. "Hey guys, not sure if you read your emails, but I just started listening to your podcast last week, two weeks ago? Idk time is fake."
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: "And I just listened to your episode about Peggy the Doll, and I wanted to share."
Em Schulz: Wow, you said the whole name. Geez.
Christine Schiefer: I know.
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: I know. I was just feeling a little chaotic.
Em Schulz: Ugh. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: "As soon as I'm started talking about the doll's story, I got a splitting headache and the vision in my right eye went all wonky and wrong."
Em Schulz: Ooh.
Christine Schiefer: "I also have a cold, and I started having a coughing fit while listening, which was normal. But then I tasted freaking blood."
Em Schulz: Oh my God, are you Alex's boyfriend?
Christine Schiefer: This is...
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: This is upsetting. "It all immediately went away. As soon as I paused the podcast to text my girlfriend about it, it came back when I turned the episode back on."
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: Okay, so when you say girlfriend Leigh, is this like a romantic partner? And are you queer? Because maybe these dolls are just all not out like...
Em Schulz: Just homophobic as shit.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, maybe they're all just homophobic.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: I don't know.
Em Schulz: That's such a...
Christine Schiefer: I'm just saying.
Em Schulz: I'm just saying two for two. They were all, they were all homophobic.
Christine Schiefer: Like that means our whole podcast is fucking screwed.
Em Schulz: Okay.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "It came back when I turned the episode back on, and to make it all worse, the flashlight on my phone started flashing on and off."
Em Schulz: Hmm?
Christine Schiefer: "I'm working on a painting and the lighting in my room is too dark. So I was using my phone flashlight. I fucking swear my heart stopped at a pure fear and I had to skip through to the end of Em's, story three crying emojis. As soon as I got to the end, my headache went away again. So I'm officially freaked out. Anyway, just thought I'd share. Love you guys. And I can't wait to be all caught up on the podcast, Leigh."
Em Schulz: Ooh. That got my geese all bumpy. That's... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: That's not, not not great.
Em Schulz: Oh, I hate that.
Christine Schiefer: I don't love it.
Em Schulz: I also, also, my ego's a little shattered that people have to stop listening to me talk. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Okay, but don't be because there are multiple like crying sad emojis, so... They're clearly devastated.
Em Schulz: Okay. I'm glad the guilt is there. Umm.
Christine Schiefer: The guilt is there.
Em Schulz: But, wow. Okay. So just like... I don't know. Hey, when we gave that PSA of be careful as we discuss her, proof in the pudding, someone started tasting blood immediately, so...
Christine Schiefer: And then paused it. So apparently you can pause it or skip forward. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Apparently don't, I like, I'm not, that's not a guarantee, but that's what I've gathered.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I don't know if you can pause the fender bender you might get into, but you know.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh, right, good point. Maybe that'll go away once you pause? I dunno.
Em Schulz: Well, I will say thank you, Eva, for not making me read PTDs name.
Christine Schiefer: I love, I love that she knew I will read it. You wouldn't...
Em Schulz: And, and also like, who the fuck do we think we are, Christine? Because we talk about...
Christine Schiefer: Who do we think we are for real?
Em Schulz: What gives us the right, because we talk about how God damn dangerous she is. We're afraid to say her name. We have literally looked her in the eyes and talked to her at the Zak Bagans' Museum.
Christine Schiefer: I have zero. Like I...
Em Schulz: That was the most chaotic evil I've ever done in my life.
Christine Schiefer: Every time you say I, we don't say the name. I like, I, I say the name, I can't help myself. It's like, it's like the Hell's House. Like, I, I'm like, I know I'm not supposed to do it.
Em Schulz: Ugh.
Christine Schiefer: I just wanna see what happens.
Em Schulz: I just can't believe. It it just, I, for us to go, don't even think about it. And we've looked her in the eyes.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. We're like, you guys, you be really careful. Sign this waiver. Don't say her name. Anyway...
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Let me just drive my car and shout about it using her full Christian name.
Em Schulz: Well, I'm happy to say this name. This one, we, we've actually already mentioned this episode, but this story is about Harold the Doll. Umm,
Christine Schiefer: Hmm!
Em Schulz: And then the rest of the subject line is, I almost died. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Sorry.
Em Schulz: Whoopsies, so...
Christine Schiefer: We're always looking at PTD. Now it looks like Harold is causing.
Em Schulz: Coming in hot.
Christine Schiefer: More problems than we thought.
Em Schulz: He wants the title. So...
Christine Schiefer: That's true.
Em Schulz: This is from Madison who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And Madison says in all caps. "OKAY, LISTEN." Oh, I'm listening.
Christine Schiefer: Fine.
Em Schulz: "I had an experience listening to an episode and I am only on episode 87. RIP me, I have so much to catch up on. 86 is Harold the Doll. I just wanted to share my experience because I thought I was literally about to die. I had a McDonald's Coke. I'm at work, I work for a music academy and we keep tea for our singers. So I was stalking the tea while listening to the episode. I had this really weird chest pain, so I went back to my desk to drink some Coke thinking maybe it would help somehow, and it did not."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "The Coke literally sat in my throat and refused to go down."
Christine Schiefer: Ew.
Em Schulz: Ew. "I was literally choking and gasping for air."
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Sorry. Ew.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: "I was literally choking and gasping for air and trying to make it come back up. Oh. I ran to the sink by the tea and tried so hard to spit it out, but it wouldn't come up." Oh. So it's like falling just...
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God. You're like choking on it.
Em Schulz: Uh, "I was working alone and was terrified I was about to pass out. I have never felt such immense pain in my throat and chest and have never experienced a drink getting stuck in my throat..."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "And just sitting there, but it was so fucking scary. I currently have a side pain now." And that's the end of it. [laughter] That's the end of the email.
Christine Schiefer: Uh, are you currently still with us, friend?
Em Schulz: I... [chuckle] I feel like, I feel like.
Christine Schiefer: I'm little worried.
Em Schulz: I feel like she was writing this as it was still stuck in her throat, and we've never gotten clarity on whether or not she actually swallowed the soda. But just...
Christine Schiefer: In... Good point. I feel like the, the, the singer came by for a tea and she's like, can't you see I'm literally drowning?
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Like, maybe it is like drowning. Like, you know when you like...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Swallow water and you can't, I mean, maybe, I don't know. That's...
Em Schulz: Also, it sounds like it, like solidified in your throat or something. That's so creepy.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I never heard of liquid getting, like, stuck in your throat. That's... That's very alarming. I mean, I wonder if Harold was like, trying to get her to throw up blood and just like couldn't pull it off.
Em Schulz: Right.
Christine Schiefer: You know.
Em Schulz: Also like the, that really elusive last sentence of I now have a side pain.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: And then not even goodbye. Nothing. Just, that's all.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. The end like, no.
Em Schulz: Just, I have, I have a side pain.
Christine Schiefer: Talk about a cliffhanger. Oh, okay. Wow. What a doozy. Umm.
Em Schulz: So good luck to you. I hope you're okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Let us know how you're doing. Umm, this is from Olivia and it's called Laurel Canyon Haunting. It says, "Hey guys, my name is Olivia and I come from a stereotypical Los Angeles family." To me I don't really know what that means. I feel like there's...
Em Schulz: Vegan.
Christine Schiefer: Maybe?
Em Schulz: Vegan surfers. That's gotta be it.
Christine Schiefer: Vegan surf... Oh, wow. Okay. Alright. I'm calling it.
Em Schulz: Your, your dad was actually part avocado, so.
Christine Schiefer: Oh! That explains it.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Well, that means Oli... Olivia's also part avocado, I would imagine.
Em Schulz: Good for her.
Christine Schiefer: Wow. "Hey guys, my name's Olivia and I come from a stereotypical Los Angeles family. Both of my parents are in the entertainment industry and have been divorced since I was born." Okay. That, I mean...
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: That'll do it.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "My mom lived in WeHo and my dad has a place in Laurel Canyon. His house was right above the canyon store and it was creepy af. My dad doesn't know how to settle in a house, so he basically likes to buy them and flip them. I don't know why he picked this house, but I can tell you that I'm so glad he doesn't live there anymore. When they first started working on the house, my dad ended up finding a ceramic bird bath buried and broken into three pieces. Because my dad is psychotic he decided to put the bird bath back together and display it outside."
[laughter]
Em Schulz: That sounds like the most dad thing I've ever...
Christine Schiefer: I know.
Em Schulz: Heard in my life.
Christine Schiefer: He's like, I've got epoxy and some gorilla glue. Let's put this bad boy back together.
Em Schulz: It's like, I don't see where it's broken.
Christine Schiefer: It's a perfect good, bath bird, bath bird. What is it called?
Em Schulz: It was a bargain. I got it a long time ago. Why? It's not that broken.
Christine Schiefer: Come on. It's perfectly good. "My dad used to be a heavy... " Oh, sorry, I forgot the line. "This is where everything starts to get fucked up."
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: "My dad used to be a heavy smoker, so he'd often go to the backyard to smoke. One day when he went back, he saw a girl with long blonde hair, but he couldn't make out her face because she was basically in the woods. My dad thought she needed help, so he asked her if she needed anything, but she wouldn't respond. He got freaked out and went inside because he thought she might be a crazy woman. A few weeks went by and one day when he got home, all of" argh...
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: "A few weeks went by and one day when he got home, all of my baby dolls were sitting upright on the couch."
Em Schulz: Bye.
Christine Schiefer: "He thought it was my uncle trying to prank him because my uncle had been helping out with all the construction. However, after that, every day once he got back from work, the dolls would be back on the couch in the same position."
Em Schulz: Mmm.
Christine Schiefer: "He finally called my uncle and told him to stop because it was freaking him out. And my uncle said that he had no idea what he was talking about. Once my dad explained everything, my uncle told my dad that he had also seen a girl with long blonde hair."
Em Schulz: [gasp] Ugh.
Christine Schiefer: "My dad finally put two and two together and reburied the bird bath. After that, everything stopped. He also sold the house. Smiley face."
Em Schulz: Okay. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: And this one ends with, "The end."
Em Schulz: [laughter] What a what a umm an eclectic group of endings to this.
Christine Schiefer: I know. I feel like everybody is like, so I'm just gonna back outta here. I don't know how else to leave.
Em Schulz: I'm waiting for somebody to just end it with like, "Fin." [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah. I love that. That's how I end things.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Wow. Okay. So I guess don't unbury bird... Broken bird baths.
Christine Schiefer: Well, I guess if you find something spooky buried in the ground, like don't take it upon yourself to...
Em Schulz: Trust.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Trust that it's been buried there for a reason, right? Like...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. It wasn't...
Christine Schiefer: Maybe let's not gorilla glue it back together.
Em Schulz: It wasn't buried there for you to unbury it, you know?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. For a crafting project, you know?
Em Schulz: Which is wild though, because I feel like I would see that and be like and not think anything spooky about it. Like, why, I wonder why the girl was so attached to the bird bath. Maybe that was her favorite place or something, you know?
Christine Schiefer: Maybe it was like her bird bath and somebody shattered it.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I don't know.
Em Schulz: Whatever. I'm glad it was, after it was unleashed, it was re-leashed.
Christine Schiefer: Unleashed. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Oh, well thank you for your story. This one comes from Amanda. Umm, here's something real crazy. It is...
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: Oh I see it.
Christine Schiefer: I'm looking at it too. I think I had scroll.
Em Schulz: I had to Scroll. I had to scroll.
Christine Schiefer: There's like a giant cat picture somewhere in there.
Em Schulz: Yes, yes. And a doll picture, just so you know.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, no.
Em Schulz: Umm, I really hope I didn't just see PTD 'cause I think I just did.
Christine Schiefer: Well, one of the pictures unless I'm... Oh, no, no. It just got split in the PDF.
Em Schulz: PDFs are crazy that's...
Christine Schiefer: PDFs are crazy.
Em Schulz: Said the boomer in the room.
Christine Schiefer: Hey, hey, are you ready? What's the deal with PDFs? You know?
Em Schulz: Hang on.
[womp womp womp womp trumpet sound]
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] I literally didn't know what you're doing. I was like, what? Oh.
Em Schulz: Is that, but don't, or whatever.
Christine Schiefer: No, it was.
Em Schulz: Is that the right one?
Christine Schiefer: No, it was wah wah wah, which actually worked better.
Em Schulz: Okay, cool. Okay. Good. Good, good, good. Okay. So anyway, this one's from Amanda and the, uh, subject line is, oh, Listener's Episode. So Amanda is keeping it vague for us. Love that. And Amanda says, uh, "Hello. And That's Why We Drink team fam and fluffy friends. Amanda They/them pronouns, love a fellow theybie." Thank you for normalizing pronouns. Uh, "My favorite drink is Arnold Palmer." Oh we're starting...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] Em, is this you?
Em Schulz: We're starting hot. I know. Am I Amanda? And out of the...
Christine Schiefer: We're cold. Wink.
Em Schulz: Out of...
Christine Schiefer: Wah wah wah Waaah [laughter] I need to eat food, I'm like so mad right now [laughter] that I can't eat.
Em Schulz: I feel like I said Arnold Palmer. And you got like really triggered yeah [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I did, uh, uh except that I could probably have that right?
Em Schulz: No. That's definitely the color of dark tea.
Christine Schiefer: Shit.
Em Schulz: And lemonade.
Christine Schiefer: Damn it.
Em Schulz: And how's your Sprite, take a swig?
Christine Schiefer: Actually, look what I got, it's Sprite cherry, which I didn't know existed. But it's like clear flavour.
Em Schulz: Ooh.
Christine Schiefer: Or it's clear-colored.
Em Schulz: Remember Sprite remix?
Christine Schiefer: Sort of.
Em Schulz: When we were kids, it was like, there was like a purple one, a red one, but it was clear and it blew our minds.
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah, see this is what I like, is that it's Cherry flavour but I feel like I'm tricking everyone.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: 'Cause I love cherry and they're like, you can't have cherry, and I'm like, Oh can't I?
Em Schulz: If you put that on a cup, a doctor would approve it, you know.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Alright, "my favorite drink is Arnold Palmer, but out of the two, I would have to be team milkshake..." Aye.
Christine Schiefer: Yaay.
Em Schulz: "Sorry, team wine, but I'm more of a hard liquor person," I don't know what you're apologizing for.
Christine Schiefer: I was gonna say, I mean, me too.
Em Schulz: "My partner introduced me to your show recently, so I'm very new, but I love these viewer episodes and I forgot that I have a story of my own to share." It always makes me so sad that if, if they're just listening, three hundred and forty episodes ago, like they're not gonna know that they were chosen as a Listeners' episode.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. I thought that too, but think about it, if their partner...
Em Schulz: Oh yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Is the one who introduced it maybe they'll be like, Oh shit, like Amanda your story, you know?
Em Schulz: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: I don't know.
Em Schulz: I hope so.
Christine Schiefer: That's the hope that I tell myself.
Em Schulz: "To preface, my partner and I both love spooky shit, like really like spooky shit, horror movies, animal bones and other oddities. So my partner takes it a bit further. He has probably over a hundred dolls that he has either purchased or had been given by friends and family."
Christine Schiefer: I was on board until the dolls.
Em Schulz: This is what people thought we wanted, which is why they started sending us dolls at some point. Remember that?
Christine Schiefer: That's true. And I did kind of keep them for a while, so I was...
Em Schulz: We were accidentally building a collection.
Christine Schiefer: I was, I was cousin Brandon from earlier.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: You were Amanda's partner. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Uh, "seven of these dolls which are..." There's over a hundred.
Christine Schiefer: Ohh.
Em Schulz: As Amanda says, "seven of them are haunted." Honestly, those stats are low compared to what I was expecting.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, agreed.
Em Schulz: I thought ninety-seven will be haunted.
Christine Schiefer: Seven percent? Like that's pretty low. I'll take my chances.
Em Schulz: Yeah. "I have a feeling you'd want to see. So I attached a picture of them all." Okay, that's what that was.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, is that the one? Can I go look?
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: I don't want any spoilers. Lemme see.
Em Schulz: I don't know if a spoil... I'm where you are, I don't know if a spoiler is coming.
Christine Schiefer: I know. I, you know how sometimes you used to yell at me 'cause I would read along.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: This was way back in the day, I don't do that anymore. But umm woah ooh... I mean beautiful. I'm gonna just changed the subject. Change the picture.
Em Schulz: So, super not haunted at all.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-mmm.
Em Schulz: "The haunted dolls were purchased through eBay, if I'm not mistaken, and he likes to do this, he likes to do it this way because they usually give a description about what kinds of things the spirit likes and what activity the owners had been experiencing. Each doll has an interesting story, personality..."
Christine Schiefer: It's like Tinder for dolls. Like, it's like, uh, loves attention, but needs a little bit of like alone time.
Em Schulz: I'm not...
Christine Schiefer: It's like Petfinder, maybe like Petfinder, like good with kids.
Em Schulz: I feel like, let's TM TM this. But like why don't we create a haunted doll Tinder, where like collectors can go look and swipe around and see and purchase.
Christine Schiefer: Okay now we are talking, now we are talking, Em.
Em Schulz: I feel like that's...
Christine Schiefer: 'Cause you know why 'cause we would have to be the ones to be acquiring all of these items, you realize that right?
Em Schulz: Uh, no, no, no, we would be like a third party to eBay or something.
Christine Schiefer: We're like the Silicon Valley type and someone else has to do all the like leg work. We just kind of...
Em Schulz: I'm so lucky, you're so lucky. I don't know how to code because the things I would get us into would be crazy.
Christine Schiefer: I like kind of do, but I have some secret things that I've been waiting to reveal to you, but, I shouldn't have said that.
Em Schulz: What do you know?
Christine Schiefer: It's been like, uh, a year or two three years in the making, so... But I, well that's fine.
Em Schulz: What do you know?
Christine Schiefer: I don't know anything.
Em Schulz: Did you learn how to code, Christine?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I know how to code. Yeah, I took coding courses in college and umm...
Em Schulz: So what else is there? What's what's what's coming out of this? What do you...
Christine Schiefer: Oh I just, I made a few things.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: But I just never knew what to do with them, so they're kind of sitting in limbo waiting for the right moment.
Em Schulz: Is this the right moment?
Christine Schiefer: I wasn't... No, not yet.
Em Schulz: Okay, well, [laughter] let me know what it gets here umm...
Christine Schiefer: I just like to strike a little tinge of fear in your heart every now and then.
Em Schulz: She's there, I promise, [laughter] at a hundred percent capacity. [laughter] Umm, Okay, well, moving on, having learned nothing and a lot all at the same time from that experience [laughter] umm [laughter] uh, oh eBay, right. And then the, we do the Tinder thing, okay. Uh, "each doll has an interesting story, personality, characteristics, likes and dislikes, just like anyone else, really. Uh, they are currently displayed on a bookshelf in one of the basement bedrooms because they do not like being in, kept in boxes."
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Don't put baby in a box, you know?
Christine Schiefer: That's exactly right.
Em Schulz: "When we moved into this house, we did not yet have a bookshelf for them, and they let us know that they were not pleased."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: I, I feel...
Christine Schiefer: They let us know. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I feel like I, that's just... You're just signing up for like a toxic environment. For like, you're not even dating this person or something, but they're like, well, first things first, before you do anything else in this house.
Christine Schiefer: It's like a roommate, yeah, it's like a roommate who's not paying the rent. And you're like.
Em Schulz: Yeah!
Christine Schiefer: Oh. You have so many demands.
Em Schulz: Yes, exactly. "I can imagine it was a lot of energy cramped into one box originally."
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: "And the activity was physically harmless. Just startling." Great. "My partner had a tube of chapstick thrown at him, we heard the sound of broken glass one night, and we were unable to find any kind of source."
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: "And when I was walking up the stairs, they made it sound like someone was actually falling down on them. I didn't hear it, however, despite being right there," so I guess her partner heard it.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Oh that's scary too...
Em Schulz: It's fair to say that we...
Christine Schiefer: To think like oh, you hear a crashing and you're like, oh my God. Did you fall down the stairs? And they're like, on the stairs like, what? No.
Em Schulz: Right?
Christine Schiefer: But like it's, uh, that's terrifying.
Em Schulz: There's nothing. There's nothing scarier... Well, I'm sure there are scarier things, [laughter] but there's there's nothing...
Christine Schiefer: Finish the sentence [laughter]
Em Schulz: There's nothing scarier to me when two people are in a room and only one is experiencing the thing.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that is really, that is really scary, 'cause at least you have the validation and the like, we're in this together, otherwise.
Em Schulz: And think about the mind fuck of like, oh, so uh, like now, both of you know that things could be happening around you that you're not even aware of.
Christine Schiefer: Oh true.
Em Schulz: And that this thing is control... It can... This thing can control beyond your own senses. So like, it is, if so, then it spirals even more. And it's like, so if you're experiencing something, it's 'cause it wants you to know.
Christine Schiefer: Eww, and it's like specifically choosing you to witness it. But also, like, if I, for example, Harry, I am not giving you any ideas here, but if I heard, like, if Leona were a little older and she were going up the stairs and I heard someone fall down the stairs. Like worst nightmare.
Em Schulz: Worst nightmare.
Christine Schiefer: You know, and then you turn and it's like, she's fine. Like that's really scary...
Em Schulz: Yeah. Uh oh. It's so scary. Oh, well "now I have always been completely fine with the dolls being around. Luckily these kinds of things don't bother me." Wow. You, the, you're...
Christine Schiefer: It must be nice.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: My ability to see that as anything other than a red flag is like different than yours. Let's just put it there because I'd be like, uh, it's me or the dolls at this point.
Christine Schiefer: For sure.
Em Schulz: "I've always been completely fine with it. Umm, I figured they weren't bad spirits. They were just a little salty about being kept in a box for a few weeks and honestly valid. I wish that this first story were about any of these dolls, but it's not, since my partner is an avid haunted doll collector, he's very sensitive to energies and objects with generally spooky vibes."
Christine Schiefer: What if he wasn't, what if it was like he has zero... Like he just has a wall there and he is like, I don't know. I just like how they look and everyone else is like, you're ruining our lives with these dolls. He is like, what? I don't hear anything.
Em Schulz: That would be the red flag. Actually. That one is like...
Christine Schiefer: I feel like that would be the only acceptable way to collect dolls though. If you're like, they do bother me. Like if... I don't know. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Yeah. That's true.
Christine Schiefer: I see both sides of it.
Em Schulz: I feel like, uh, if I went to somebody's house and they had a bunch of dolls that were obviously haunted, but they just denied it, I'd be...
Christine Schiefer: That's true. That's true.
Em Schulz: Like, this person is crackers.
Christine Schiefer: Be like, yeah. Crackers. You like you are delusional is what I would say.
Em Schulz: I'd be like, at least admit it.
Christine Schiefer: At least admit it.
Em Schulz: Unless maybe they're trying to like, not scare me. So they're like telling a fib, but then you've gotta like, what if they know that they're haunted and they're trying to like be coy about it? So they say they're not haunted. And now the haunted dolls are mad at you for not acknowledging that they're haunted publicly.
Christine Schiefer: And suddenly you're falling down the stairs. And that's how we got here.
Em Schulz: Uh-huh. Exactly. Well, "apparently while thrifting one day, a seemingly random doll stuck out to my partner on the shelf, he said that it was like the doll was reaching out to him." Please...
Christine Schiefer: Please.
Em Schulz: Please get be for real. Like if I, if I ever felt something reaching out to me and it had a face, I would be like, no, no.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] You'd be like, push away.
Em Schulz: It's like, I'm glad you're reaching out. I'm, I'm going. This is a fun dance we're doing. I'm going into another aisle.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: "All I could tell about the doll was that it looked pretty cute, had big eyes and he wanted it so it came home with us. Little did we know what was in store for us in the short two weeks that we had this doll."
Christine Schiefer: Uh-uh.
Em Schulz: Yep. "Before we get to the good, good..." Oh, great. "I think it's important to add that we are both desensitized to spooky things. So it did take a while for us to put the pieces together about what was going on." I like how you prefaced it because my first response was gonna be, are you kidding me?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, seriously.
Em Schulz: Okay. Because I assume everything is a ghost. So if like, if Allison sneezes, I'm like, oh my god, a ghost.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, not again.
Em Schulz: Yeah. So I am the opposite of you. I would already be running. "For the two weeks that we had the doll. We noticed that my cat also pictured, because I love him, was coughing a lot." See? Allison sneezing, cat coughing. I told you.
Christine Schiefer: It's not, it's one and the same.
Em Schulz: "We thought that it was maybe just dust or dirt bugging him since he goes outside sometimes. We took him to the vet, of course, and they gave him some medicine thinking that he had a kitty cold or possibly asthma. He did better on the medicine and we didn't think much else of it. My bedroom is right above the doll room and it was starting... I was starting to notice that I was having heart palpitations pretty frequently combined with a general chest pain every once in a while. My partner and I were discussing some of these things and thought that it might be the doll's energy, not loving being around other dolls. So we agreed that we would have our witchy friend come and sage the doll and the house in a few days. The same night I went to bed, and at around 2:00 to 3:00 in the morning, I woke up and saw a shadowy figure standing in the doorway of my room."
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: "My sleepy brain thought that it was just my partner coming to say goodnight or checking on me. And I didn't think much of it until the next morning. I got up with some chest pain and bad mental energy. I would think it was finally starting to get to me. When I was putting on my shoes, I heard a thud beneath me in the doll room. I may be an idiot, but I'm no... I may be an idiot, but I'm no idiot." Okay...
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Wait, that's the best line. Put that on a shirt.
Em Schulz: You need to put that on your cricket. You put that...
Christine Schiefer: I am. I'm literally like, somebody give me a design. I need to put that somewhere. [laughter]
Em Schulz: "I may be an idiot, but I'm no idiot." [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: That's beautiful.
Em Schulz: "So I did not go check it, this thud. When my partner got up, I told him what happened, and apparently he had his own run-in with the doll that night. He was putting away some laundry when I went to bed and when he came into the living room, he could hear something like a metal table violently shaking,"
Christine Schiefer: Eugh.
Em Schulz: "He's a badass. So he screamed, if you don't cut the shit out, I'm going to destroy your vessel."
Christine Schiefer: Whoa.
Em Schulz: "And the shaking stopped."
Christine Schiefer: What a spooky thing to say.
Em Schulz: That's exactly what a like wizard would say. Just like...
Christine Schiefer: I mean literally like I will destroy the vessel upon which you ca... I mean Jesus, like what an alarming thing to say, but also probably very effective.
Em Schulz: That kind of sentence is what Zak Bagans thinks he's saying every time.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. I was gonna say I almost thought it was a Zak Bagans thing and then I was like, I don't think you could come up with that on the spot though.
Em Schulz: Does he know the word vessel? I don't...
Christine Schiefer: Is this a vessel? I've definitely heard him say it, but it might have been written by somebody else. I'm not really sure.
Em Schulz: Uh, I, yeah, he's only said it in like some spooky poetic way about like that episode where a horse was pooping in the carriage or something. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I love that episode where he's like, oh look. It's like...
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Okay, it's a horse shit. Oh my God.
Em Schulz: So anyway, your partner's a real badass. Got it.
Christine Schiefer: Seriously.
Em Schulz: Okay. Uh, "and the table stopped shaking. We talked about the doll and my partner decided that this doll would do better at the Museum of Shadows." Woah.
Christine Schiefer: What? Sure.
Em Schulz: "A Haunted Object museum in Omaha, Nebraska."
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: So now I know where we're going next...
Christine Schiefer: Write that down, Eva. We got a pl... We got a road trip plan.
Em Schulz: By the way three minutes ago, I was talking about how I'd run in the opposite direction, and now I'm like, we have to go to Omaha.
Christine Schiefer: Now. We're like, let's get in the car immediately. [laughter], we'll stop at Hell's House on the way.
Em Schulz: Yeah, exactly.
Christine Schiefer: And yeah.
Em Schulz: "I guess the drive down there with the doll was not a smooth one, but now they have her and she is out of our lives. Witchy friends still came and brought us sage and in all kinds of protection jars and for a pallet cleanser. I'll give you a funny, spooky story. One of the dolls named Melanie likes to fuck with technology. So she is the one housed in a glass box with twinkle lights in it."
Christine Schiefer: Okay kind of adorable.
Em Schulz: Precious. She has to be so happy about that.
Christine Schiefer: Against my better judgment, I kind of love it.
Em Schulz: I absolutely love it. [laughter], "she can play with the lights to her heart's delight..."
Christine Schiefer: Aww!
Em Schulz: "And well, one night we had some friends over and one of them got absolutely obliterated. He's team peppermint schnapps." [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh, whoa. That is a rough night for them. And probably, I mean, imagine the puke the next day. Oh, it's gotta burn.
Em Schulz: "I gave him my room, which again is above the doll room. We went to bed somewhere between 1:00-2:00 in the morning, and what we didn't know was that Melanie's lights ran outta batteries."
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "Some of the dolls communicate through dreams."
Christine Schiefer: Uh-oh.
Em Schulz: Oh my God. "So what we think happened is she snuck into this poor drunk person's mind, made him get out of bed, walk down past a baby gate we have for the cats and into the doll room just to turn on the main light."
Christine Schiefer: Shut up.
Em Schulz: "Because we have a video camera in that room that picks up motion and sound. And all you see on the camera is them peeking into the room just long enough to flick on the light. And then a moment later, you hear them say, what am I doing downstairs?"
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: Eugh.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I love that they were like, peppermint schnapps. That does the trick. Now I can enter the mind and soul of this person. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Melanie is...
Christine Schiefer: So kryptonite.
Em Schulz: Melanie sounds like she might also like peppermint schnapps.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, that's true.
Em Schulz: Anyway, that again, we've Irish goodbyed here on the, uh, on the letter. So that's it.
Christine Schiefer: So, oh my gosh, you guys, are you all okay? Like it's worrisome because they're all about dolls. And I'm like, somebody just tell me you're okay.
Em Schulz: Can you imagine if all of these people didn't actually write us at all and in the middle of the night all their dolls just started typing on keyboards, sending in their own stories to us?
Christine Schiefer: Ahhh. No, it's like anyone at their house on who drank way too much Peppermint Schnapps like got on and started.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Why am I on their computer?
Em Schulz: I'm imagining Melanie with a little bottle of Schnapps just like banging her plastic hands on, [laughter] the keyboard.
Christine Schiefer: Hang on, hear me out.
Em Schulz: Writing about, writing about her fairy lights.
Christine Schiefer: Hear me out, Amanda, maybe you need to give her just a couple drops of some Peppermint Schnapps see what happens.
Em Schulz: Yeah. If she likes, well, nevermind. I was gonna say, if she likes lights, you should give her like a scented candle and I'm like, no, don't set leave fire by a ghost. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Wow, maybe don't put flames near the doll.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Umm, but you know, it's a good effort Em.
Em Schulz: Oh, no, but you know what you should do? They have like those little tea lights that like, umm, they're electronic and they like change color. Oh.
Christine Schiefer: Ohh.
Em Schulz: Melanie would eat that. Oh, she would eat that up.
Christine Schiefer: You could give her like a whole light show to co... Control.
Em Schulz: Oh my gosh!
Christine Schiefer: At like Christmas time imagine the possibilities.
Em Schulz: You should direct her towards the window on a night where there'll be fireworks.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: Oh, Melanie would lose her mind.
Christine Schiefer: I wonder if if this reminds me of like a stranger things thing, like maybe she can communicate through the lights, you know?
Em Schulz: Yeah. I wonder if you like, do some like lucid dream work. If you can just hang out with Melanie at a firework show.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, how fun.
Em Schulz: That'd be dope.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, it seems like Melanie can fucking roam around and enter people's brains. So we're not...
Em Schulz: Yeah, you know what nevermind, she's, why is she even in a glass box? [laughter] which she's good.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah... Actually, I think Amanda thinks she's in a glass box, but like a lot of the time she's not, you know, she's roaming around.
Em Schulz: Melanie if you're listening, please don't enter my dreams.
Christine Schiefer: We love that for you though, Melanie.
Em Schulz: I love your journey, but keep it over there, [laughter] All right. Last, uh, story. I think.
Christine Schiefer: It is we have a seventh bonus here today. So this is from April.
Em Schulz: Hi April.
Christine Schiefer: And it says, oh, so the subject is Creepy doll on my property! April uses she/her pronouns. It says, "Hello Em, Christine and Eva, longtime listener at first time write in. I don't have a story, but more of a question." Uh-oh.
Em Schulz: This is a first. Damn.
Christine Schiefer: Yes. It is a first. Uh, we can't promise any wisdom, but...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: We'll try. "A few months ago while I was leaving my house on a walk with my son, who I also called Baboo, shout out to Sweet Baby G." Okay. That's adorable.
Em Schulz: Oh, oh little Baboo.
Christine Schiefer: "I noticed a small doll laying on the bright yellow fire hydrant that is outside my house along our road. Seems innocent enough, right?" No. In my opinion, no.
Em Schulz: I just know more is coming, so like, get to it. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay. [laughter] Well, no, "I have listened to plenty of your episodes and listener stories. That being said, I have built in paranoia about dolls, especially ones that just show up randomly. Of course, I'm sure it was just placed there by another child on a walk, but why is it still there? It has been there for months, maybe even longer. I snapped a photo and sent it to my husband, joking about it, and he had seen it months prior and told me not to touch it."
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: "Saying he was creeped out by it too. My son always points it out now and I just distract him with something else or keep walking. My husband had a great idea to write to you guys to ask how I should get rid of this doll without getting haunted or receiving bad juju. Do I use tongs to pick it up? [laughter] a broom to knock it over and sweep it into the street? [laughter], [laughter] Do I throw it away? I know how much you guys love talking about creepy children's toys and dolls, and I need your take on it. I've attached a picture of the DOLL." In all capital letter. "I love you guys so much, and I would binge listen to you more if my three-year old wasn't around so much. April." Okay, let me zoom in. Can you see this picture.
Em Schulz: Kind of, I, it's it's small, much smaller than I thought it was gonna gonna be.
Christine Schiefer: If you, if you... I can't really.
Em Schulz: Like it's like it's a tiny little doll that can sit on the rim of a fire hydrant.
Christine Schiefer: How do you, I can't zoom in. Hmm. Let me try. I think maybe...
Em Schulz: I mean. I don't know if what its face looks like, but I get the gist. It's like a little a little miniature.
Christine Schiefer: Is it like old timey doll or is it like modern day doll?
Em Schulz: It looks like it's a plastic kind of Barbie doll situation like a duplo.
Christine Schiefer: You know. I wonder. Okay. Every time I see so... A duplo? Interesting. Every time I see something kind of like. Uh, placed up high, like on a, on a walking, like on a sidewalk. I usually assume, like this happens sometimes, like, there'll be like a mitten or a hat or a toy, like on our fence. Because I think if a kid drops it outta the stroller, like someone walking past will just pick it up and put it like right out of the sidewalk. So I'm wondering if that's what it is, but it is a little weird that not one single person has felt comfortable.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Moving it for months.
Em Schulz: It's odd that, that a whole neighborhood sees that thing there. And either it's, they're all giving, like it takes a village energy and they're like, oh, we'll leave it for the person who kept it there. And just having like, the best honor code I've ever seen a neighborhood handle,
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: Or everyone's freaked out, which is also hysterical.
Christine Schiefer: Which is a bad, bad news, bad news.
Em Schulz: I think it's like kind of like funny in a fascinating way of like, how is everyone getting this kind of vibe from this, you know?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Even the husband was like, just don't touch that. Like, they were like, oh, I'll send you a joking photo. And then they were like, don't touch that. I've seen it.
Em Schulz: Is there, I mean, my first thought without touching it, I would leave a sign next to it or a letter and be like, does anyone know what this doll's about? Like, I mean, I've made friends by leaving notes in the street, and so.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my Lord. Okay. But so like, what would you write? Like, let me get, let me have an example.
Em Schulz: Uh, I mean, so if I were just trying to be as generic as possible, I'd be like, we keep seeing, we've seen this doll for a while. Uh, does this belong to anybody? Or, uh, is someone missing a doll or?
Christine Schiefer: Wait, I know.
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: Why don't you do a next door post?
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: You know? 'Cause.
Em Schulz: Yeah. A ring, like on a ring or neighbors or whatever it is.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Like on next door, uh, you can have, you can just post a photo of it and be like, "Hey, this has been here for a while. Not sure." And then if nobody knows what it is, or maybe you'll get more intel, like, maybe, people, people will be like, I've seen that too. Something creeps me out, you know? Then you can get like the consensus from the neighbors. That's what I would do.
Em Schulz: Yeah. That's what I would do. I also, I mean, I, I love leaving a note. I feel like I would...
Christine Schiefer: But like where would you put, like, what would you write? Like text me? Would you write your address?
Em Schulz: I mean you're ask, no no you're ask, your, your ac... You questions are all reasonable, but I'm talking from a place of like 3:00 AM I'm not thinking all the way through.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, and I'm not, I'm just asking like, so that she can do what you're suggesting. Like, should she put like, text me and like her number you think? Or like.
Em Schulz: I, I don't know. I have no idea.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay.
Em Schulz: I, I'm telling you what I would do and it would've not been fully thought out.
Christine Schiefer: Oh I see.
Em Schulz: I would leave a note as if I am maybe the doll, and I'd be like, help, where am I supposed to be? Why am I here? And then I just.
Christine Schiefer: And then it would've just created even more drama and chaos.
Em Schulz: I'd just leave a pen for like more people to write on the, to continue writing on the paper. And it'd be a fun little back and forth. But realistically I would just do what you said, just like, reach out to as many people as possible and like, on an app and then be like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah I would post it. Or like you have a Facebook neighborhood group and be like, "Hey, found this outside. Does it belong to anyone? Or should I toss it and then see what happens?" And I would say, I don't know if it's, if it's like super creepy and it really gives you bad vibes, like I just probably would leave it. Like, I don't.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I don't, I don't know well, it's not your responsibility, I guess. I mean, I guess if you're, you don't want your son to accidentally grab it, I can see why you might wanna get rid of it, but.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I mean, if you want, if you felt then compelled to get rid of it or something, I would just, maybe I'd, I'd do like a, like a proper little, like funeral or burial or something and like leave her with love and light like, I would be like...
Christine Schiefer: Yes I think I would do... Yeah I'd do. Yeah, I would Google.
Em Schulz: I'd, I'd sweep her into like a little shoebox or. Like a, a little Ziploc bag or something.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: And you know, do like a proper, like, we love you and, and you can leave now. You can move on. And I don't know if you wanted to, but you also... Yeah. Like Christine said, this isn't your responsibility.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I would say like, don't feel like you have to unless you really want to. Umm, but also if it feels like I'm being compelled by a dark energy, then maybe just leave it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Like maybe just leave it.
Em Schulz: And I wonder if by putting so much energy into caring so much about this doll that's giving it energy.
Christine Schiefer: Right. That's a great point. Especially if everybody else is like, yeah, you've seen that doll? It's creeping me out. And if your husband's like, oh, I saw that doll. [laughter] Like, I don't know. I'm getting nervous about this doll. Now. Why does everybody have such a strong opinion about it?
Em Schulz: Hmm. Yeah. I don't know. It's very weird that so many people are freaked out.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So let us know what happens. Let us know if you do post about it. 'cause I, I am curious like what other people, umm, think or have said or feel about it.
Em Schulz: Make a TikTok maybe?
Christine Schiefer: Ooh, that's a good idea.
Em Schulz: And just be like this little girl, she is terrifying all of the neighborhood that we do...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. If you're wondering what we would do, we would try to make content out of it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I'd exploit it for sure.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So, and then leave it with love and light. No. Umm.
Em Schulz: Do like a blowing...
Christine Schiefer: That's why...
Em Schulz: Blowing a kiss emoji at the end of the video. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yes. That is that. There we go. Just like, but all this was for her to have a nice happy time.
Em Schulz: Yeah exactly.
Christine Schiefer: Somewhere else. Some far, far away.
Em Schulz: Uh, anyway, that's, that's our first Q and A we've ever done here on...
Christine Schiefer: Wow, what a delight. I feel like umm...
Em Schulz: Was it fun for you?
Christine Schiefer: It was fun for me, but I don't think that they got any good answer. Well, I mean, maybe they did, but I mean, I feel like they went to the wrong place asking for genuine advice. I think we probably...
Em Schulz: Especially, especially because neither of us are experts when it comes to like, what a proper ritual would be if you actually felt like this thing had something attached to it. So.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly. That's exactly it. So maybe, you know, Google it, but that, that's, that's where I stand with it.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Anyway, good way to end this.
Christine Schiefer: Cool we did it.
Em Schulz: Uh, doing something new for August. Oh, Christine. So next time we you hear some stories from us, it will be September. But thank you everyone who submitted stories and umm, thank you to Eva and Katie for like, finding a theme through all of this.
Christine Schiefer: Curating them.
Em Schulz: Love a doll story. And with that, I guess, do what do we do? We just see you next month, I guess everyone.
Christine Schiefer: I think we see you next month. I go drink my Sprite and cry and, uh.
Em Schulz: Just think the next time we're recording a listeners' episode, this will all be done. You don't have to worry about it anymore for a while.
Christine Schiefer: I'll be snacking away, but don't worry. I'll mute my mic folks. I know...
Em Schulz: I feel like you should, uh, for September, bring a real fancy drink that's just caked in red dye.
Christine Schiefer: Just bring, oh, oh my God! I'll bring my Cherry Sprite, but I'll just put red food dye in it just to make it like.
Em Schulz: Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: Feel more exciting.
Em Schulz: Alright everyone, we'll, we'll, uh, we'll see you next week or Sunday or whenever, whenever you hear us next. And...
Christine Schiefer: That's...
Em Schulz: Why...
Christine Schiefer: We...
Em Schulz: Drink.