[intro music]
Christine Schiefer: Aahhh.
Em Schulz: Everyone. Hi. Happy Sunday, or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. We're having a sleepy day.
Christine Schiefer: Aah. I thought we were gonna harmonize and then you just totally disappeared.
Em Schulz: Do you know how to harmonize?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, because I go first and then someone else harmonizes with me.
Em Schulz: Okay. [laughter] Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Wait. Remember how we made you turn your mic up?
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: You're now... You're now too loud. It's clipping. Sorry.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: Just slightly. Just slightly.
Em Schulz: Okay. How's this?
Christine Schiefer: That's much better.
Em Schulz: Alright, Jack. Weigh in.
Christine Schiefer: For now.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: So here's the thing. Everyone we're having, our brains are a little foggy today. Christine is a triple threat. Mom, podcaster, secondary podcaster, [laughter], umm, [laughter] and...
Christine Schiefer: What else? What else? [laughter] I'm sure there's more.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, candy eater...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. That's it.
Em Schulz: With tummy troubles. Umm, today, no tummy troubles, which is good, but we got...
Christine Schiefer: I mean not yet. I'm eating a lot of candy right now, so, we'll... We'll see.
Em Schulz: Okay. Anyway, between just being, umm, a... A, a general human being and having two shows, Christine's going through it, which like, you haven't actually said out loud, but I'm just saying on behalf of... Like, as your friend, I don't know how you...
Christine Schiefer: That's so nice.
Em Schulz: I don't know how you function the way that you do, and we've discussed that many times, but it's true.
Christine Schiefer: I... I... I appreciate it. I... I barely do. I'm at a point where I'm like having a little mental identity crisis and I'm like, I gotta sit down and like, write out a schedule, like.
Em Schulz: A menty B having a little menty B. Mental breakdown.
Christine Schiefer: It's just a tiny menty B. [laughter] Umm, I think I'm gonna do for the fall.
Em Schulz: Oh, okay. What, what are we doing?
Christine Schiefer: If you are down for like, maybe a schedule, you know, like...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Not a schedule, like a strict schedule, but just like, oh, here are my windows where like, I'm gonna tell Blaise and my mom and whoever is with Leona. Like, these hours I need to put aside, like, for recording. I just feel like I'm always like winging it, like, "Oh shit. I have to record tomorrow. Like, let me text my mom and see if she can come over." And then she's like, "No, I... Like, I'm busy that day." And it's just crazy. So I think I'm gonna try to... Why am I talking about this on the show? I feel like this is a definitely, like a work...
Em Schulz: This is actually...
Christine Schiefer: Conversation crossed...
Em Schulz: We've crisscrossed, we've crisscrossed into sad, happy hour of life.
Christine Schiefer: Sad happy hour, which like is sad because I get... I don't have to... I... I just said I get to miss it. I don't have to go to it. I meant the opposite. I...
Em Schulz: I know. Yeah. Somehow you got like a doctor's note.
Christine Schiefer: I have to miss it.
Em Schulz: And now Eva and I are...
Christine Schiefer: I don't get to not go to it.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Eva and I are having sad happy hour without Christine this weekend.
Christine Schiefer: Well, do you wanna know real quick? I... I do wanna know why you drink. Umm, but real quick...
Em Schulz: Oh. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Can I tell you... Can I tell you why I drink since we're on the topic, umm, of me anyway?
Em Schulz: Yeah. Awesome.
Christine Schiefer: So I took the weekend and went on a really fun trip with Renée and her friend from law school, Lindsay. And her friend Lindsay has like in Indiana, a really sweet little like lake house and it's so nice and you basically just go and lay around. There's not even internet. Like you just...
Em Schulz: You needed that for sure.
Christine Schiefer: Right? Like maximum relaxant. So we had a great time. We're like swimming in the lake. It was awesome. The day I leave, I'm like, okay, leaving at 11:00. So I get in the car and I drive about six minutes away and I'm like six minutes away and my phone rings and it's Renée and I go, "Mother f-er like, what did I leave?" Like I obviously left something and I answer the phone. She goes, "You left your entire backpack like with your laptop, your medicine like... "
Em Schulz: Oh, Christine.
Christine Schiefer: Every... Like your, probably your wallet. Like everything important that belongs to you. And I was like...
Em Schulz: Your Social Security card again.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. That I'm... That I'm that one. I'm like, yeah, you can have it. I don't need it. [laughter] But everything else, I'm like, shit. So I'm like, "Goddammit."
Em Schulz: Oh no.
Christine Schiefer: So I turn around and then there's this like, car coming in the opposite direction in these are like really narrow roads. So I like turn a little to like let them through. I did not see the fucking gigantic curb there...
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: And I just exploded my fucking tire.
Em Schulz: Uh!
Christine Schiefer: And I get to their house and I'm like, "Hey, did you miss me?" And they were like, "She's back." And I was like, "Hey, for real though. Can someone call AAA? 'Cause my car is now like... "
Em Schulz: Oh no.
Christine Schiefer: Completely. And so we were like, "You know what, no, we can change a tire, right?" So we're like, "Okay, let's change a tire." So we go outside, we're about to like ratchet the thing up, literally like God himself was laughing the fucking sky open. And it just started like.
Em Schulz: Downpouring?
Christine Schiefer: Downpouring to the point that like, we can barely even see, and I'm standing there like, this is not gonna work. [laughter] Like if I'm lifting a car off the ground for like, maybe the third time in my human adult life, I don't think it should be in a storm. So I ended up having to call AAA. They like eventually came, put on a new tire, but then they were like, "You can't drive like four hours on a spare tire." And I was like, "Okay." So I stopped at nine Walmarts, Walmart Auto Centers is on the way home and not a singular one had my kind of tire. So I just kept having to go to Walmart and saying, "Can you pump up my tire so I can get all the way home?" So they would just like pump up my little spare.
Em Schulz: How far away were you from home? Four hours?
Christine Schiefer: Four hours, 260 miles. So anyway, I eventually made it home. Umm, now my poor sad car is just outside like limping.
Em Schulz: So were you by the way, just like how...
Christine Schiefer: Me too. Me too. It was a long day.
Em Schulz: Mentally, I think you are the tire. It was... [laughter] It was, uh, a sym... A symbolic thing.
Christine Schiefer: I am like the deflated tire. So anyway, that's why I drink. Umm, but I made it home safe and sound. 'Cause I was on the phone with my stepdad and I was like, "Tim, but like, what will happen if I drive over?" And he's like, "Well, you know the tire pressure... " And I was like, "No, no, no. Like what will happen to me if something goes like it... Like what will happen to the car if worst case scenario like this tire loses air, whatever. Like what will happen?" He's like, "Well if the heat of the tire... " And I was like, "No, no. Like will I crash? Will I like... Will the car just stop? Will it like skid off the road? Will it just slowly go flat? And then the beeping will start like, what, what will happen?" Could not get a straight answer. So the whole ride home, I'm just like, well, something's gonna happen any minute now.
Em Schulz: Maybe it's...
Christine Schiefer: I'm not... I'm not supposed to drive more than 50 miles.
Em Schulz: Maybe it's one of... It's one of those things where like, men pretend they know, but like they universally just hope no one asks. No?
Christine Schiefer: I think, it was that other thing. 'Cause he works on cars, so like he knows, but like, I think it's the other thing dads do or men do, or at least both my dads do, where they go, "Oh, let me give you the very long answer." And I'm like, "I don't want... I don't wanna know why."
Em Schulz: Ah, I see.
Christine Schiefer: I don't wanna know why the car is gonna fall apart. I need to know like...
Em Schulz: Like does car go boom? Or am I fine.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Exactly. Do I die or do I just like skid off the road and like have to call AAA again? Like I... I was like, it's... That's all I need. And he's like, "Depends on the like distance... " Uh, I don't know. He's like, "The rain might affect the... The tread on the tire." I was like, "I'm done."
Em Schulz: A very dad conversation where five milliseconds in, I'm like, "I... I'm out." [chuckle] I'm... I'm tapping out. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I literally, I had to be like, "Okay, well... [vocalization] And then I hung up. And I was like, "I'm done."
Em Schulz: Yeah. It... I really do...
Christine Schiefer: "Maybe you'll see me, maybe you won't.
Em Schulz: All of a sudden feel like I'm in like a snoopy classroom, and I'll, my dad just goes... I just hear...
Christine Schiefer: "Wo-wo." [laughter]
Em Schulz: Uh-huh. "Wo-wo, wo-wo, wo-wo." And I'm like, "Okay, so fucking... You have five half seconds to tell me what's going on if you want me to understand it."
Christine Schiefer: I mean... And I think it's because like they get in their element. He's like, "I've been waiting to explain tires to you." And I'm like, "No."
Em Schulz: Well, he's just... Wait, he's gonna to talk to cars... About cars to anyone, probably.
Christine Schiefer: To anyone.
Em Schulz: And he's like, "This is it." [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: "Finally." So anyway, That's why I drink. I'm like, "Oh." And then tomorrow... So I got home last night way later than I was supposed to. We're recording today, and I leave early in the morning for Beach Too Sandy tour. So I'm just like really tired. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. I did tell Christine, as the chairman of all naps, I was like...
Christine Schiefer: The chairman of naps. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I was like, "You can just go to bed. I'll totally understand. We can figure it out... Figure out recording later."
Christine Schiefer: That's so nice. But then I was like, "Why don't we record Wednesday?" And I was like, "'Cause I will be in DC with you."
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter] I forgot.
Christine Schiefer: We could record. We know we won't when we're together, so.
Em Schulz: Oh, I know. And... And you shouldn't have to...
Christine Schiefer: Anyway, how... How are you?
Em Schulz: Umm, how... Wow. Fine. Compared to that, I'm good. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Well, it was funny 'cause you just got on... Like Eva and I were talking, and she's like, "Your weekend looks so relaxing." And I was like, "Well, it was until it wasn't." And then I was like, "But don't tell Em 'cause it's the reason I drink." And then you sat down and you're like, "Guys, I'm having a day. I just dropped my vitamins," and I was like, "Em's gonna come in and be like, "You guys won't... "
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I did hear you laugh. And I was like, "That's not funny."
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: It's because it was like the back... Like the exact right moment where I was like, "Oh yeah, that's why I drink today. Like I... My... You know, I had to... I had to drive home like 30 miles an hour on the highway." And then you were like, "I'm having such a day, you guys. My vitamin just fell on the ground," and we were like, "Oh no."
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I... Well... Okay, well I am having a day because I'm actually, I am having like some gnarly anxiety. I just don't think my beta blocker has kicked in yet. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Umm...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: So as you saw, it fell on the ground. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: But, uh...
Christine Schiefer: And that was your vitamin? You call your beta blockers a vitamin?
Em Schulz: Uh, so it's a... It's a... A... A lump sum kind of situation, because I have four vitamins and two medications. And...
Christine Schiefer: What's a lump sum. [laughter] I don't even know what that means.
Em Schulz: I don't know. I just thought if you heard it, it would...
Christine Schiefer: Are you my dad? What's happening?
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I just thought if I said it and in context, you'd pick it up. But no, instead, I'm being called out.
Christine Schiefer: Somebody else was probably like, "Wow." No, you probably...
Em Schulz: Like, they don't know.
Christine Schiefer: It makes sense, I'm sure, to somebody.
Em Schulz: It was, uh... I said it because the real answer is I have four vitamins and two medications, but I take them all together. And so since there's more vitamins than medications, I say vitamins. But, umm...
Christine Schiefer: I understand. I understand.
Em Schulz: I also often just say, "Oh, I'm, uh... "
Christine Schiefer: Oh, so it's a lump sum kind of thing?
Em Schulz: You get it. Yeah. [laughter] I'm trying to say I was at the apothecary...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: On my way home, AKA, across the room to the desk.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Things fell outta my pocket. So, umm...
Christine Schiefer: I know. I'm not trying to diss you and your troubles 'cause, as we know, anxiety is nothing to joke about, so.
Em Schulz: Well, no, I... I just am just a little stressed just because tomorrow, I am traveling across, uh, the country to go home. And I'm going home for a while, which always makes me nervous because I know by day four, my mom and I are gonna revert back to 2008. And so... [chuckle] I'm just a little stressed about it. And...
Christine Schiefer: Good times. When do you leave?
Em Schulz: Tomorrow morning.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Me too.
Em Schulz: Hey.
Christine Schiefer: Hey.
Em Schulz: Well, maybe we can save each other. I don't know. Uh, I'll find you...
Christine Schiefer: We've tried. We've spent seven years trying.
Em Schulz: Alright. What airport... Are we flying through the same airport?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I'm flying in to Philly, 'cause we have Philly show.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: Then we're flying from Philly to DC. Or driving? I don't know.
Em Schulz: Gotcha. Well, I... I'm just, I... Again, not to co... Compare stressors here because if I were having a show in Philly tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to breathe. [laughter] So I'm aware that you've got your own thing going on, but I just have general stress 'cause I just have so much to do before I leave, and I'm not gonna here for like...
Christine Schiefer: I hate... That feeling is so overwhelming, though. Like, that feeling...
Em Schulz: I don't even know if I have enough time to get everything done that I want. So I'm just a little...
Christine Schiefer: Especially if you're going for a long time and you're like, "Well, this is it, this is like the la... Like, the hours are ticking to get shit done."
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Like, I get it.
Em Schulz: Like, I... And it's just like, umm, I also want things to be clean before I leave so I don't just leave a pile for Allison, you know? So I, like, on top of everything else, I feel like I need to do like a scrub of all my stuff and...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: So, anyway, I'm just a little pressed for time and then stressed... There's something... Like, I have some weird gut feeling about going this time.
Christine Schiefer: Really?
Em Schulz: I don't know why, but I have like a feeling like something weird's gonna happen. I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, you just gave me shivers.
Em Schulz: I don't know. I don't... It don't... I don't know if it's negative, but I just feel like... I feel weird about going. I don't... Maybe I just am... But I feel like it's the same thing that I just said last week. Like, I think I'm just burned out from socializing, and now I know there's like three weeks of being around family that I'm just like, "Ugh, I don't even... " You know what I mean?
Christine Schiefer: It's just like too much. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. I think I just wanna go home and just like not be spoken to, but I'm walking into like the lines that are being spoken to nonstop. So...
Christine Schiefer: Well, not to put you on the spot, but if you do, if you're like, "I can't... " Like, I do not, for a second, expect you to come to the DC show if you're like, "This is too much."
Em Schulz: Oh, I'm going to your show.
Christine Schiefer: I, like, really don't want you... I mean, I really don't want you to feel like, "Oh God, this is like looming." You know what I mean?
Em Schulz: As... No. As we just discussed, I will be going, I don't think with a plus one, so I'll actually get to sit in the dark and not be spoken to for like an hour. So...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that's not... Well, I don't know. You might have to wear a mustache. I feel like people will... [chuckle]
Em Schulz: I don't think...
Christine Schiefer: Maybe you can sit in the green room or something. Whatever you want.
Em Schulz: Uh, no, I've never gotten to see you live without me on the stage. So I...
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God, I'm so excited and nervous. Aah.
Em Schulz: I can't believe you're excited. I would be wigging out, but, okay. [chuckle]
Christine Schiefer: I'm on like the literal highest dose of Zoloft that exists.
Em Schulz: Okay. [chuckle]
Christine Schiefer: So I think like my edges have been really softened over the last two years.
Em Schulz: Last thing I'll say, uh, speaking of Zoloft, I think I'm gonna ask my doctor to put me on Zoloft, because you and Eva fucking love it so much.
Christine Schiefer: Woo-hoo.
Em Schulz: Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Renée's on it too. And we talked about it this weekend in the lake, you know? And we were like... I actually almost... Well, I didn't almost drown. I like...
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: Everyone thought I was almost gonna drown. And I was like, "I think I'm fine." Umm...
Em Schulz: Okay. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: But I... I wasn't, though. But I, they were like, "Can you bring, uh, High Noons into the lake?" And I was like, "I don't know how to enter the lake." [chuckle] And they were like, "Well, you can either just jump off the dock into the lake." And I was like, "Well, [laughter] I'm not doing that." [laughter] And they were like, "Or you could go walk into the lake." And I was like... I feel like that's what people do when they're trying to like end every... Like, walk into the lake. Sounds like very dramatic. And I was like, "Okay." And they were like, "Can you bring three High Noons?" [laughter] And I was like, "Sure." So I like start walking to the lake with these fucking cans. And then I suddenly get to a point where I'm like, oh yeah. And I... I yell out to them and I'm like, "Oh, I don't know how to swim with these." And they're like, "Well then stay there. We'll come get you." And I was like, "Truly." And I like had kept walking until I was literally like underwater. And so then they had to come.
Em Schulz: Maybe I don't want Zoloft.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: So it's like I'll just drown.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: So I had these glasses that like, uh, Eva and Rachel had given me that like are round and look kind of like a bug. Like they're super cute, they're Ray-Bans. But, umm, and they didn't give them to me like, because we give each other fancy gifts. It was just like, Rachel was like, "I look like a bug in these." And I was like, "Me too, but I'll wear them." So I was wearing them and I'm like going down and all I hear I was like, bubble. And I'm like... And they're like, "Throw the High Noon, they float." And I was like, "No." And they were like, "Christine, throw the High Noon so you can swim." And I was like, "I'll save the High Noon." So I'm holding them up in the air and I was like, "I don't want them to get... "
Em Schulz: Are you sure anti anxieties created this. Or was this God-given this...
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh. I don't think anything would've... Up to now, I don't think the Zoloft had anything to do with anything.
Em Schulz: Okay. [laughter]
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I was like, "Don't worry, I won't... I don't want them to like get too shaken up 'cause they're carbonated." And they were like, "Christine, you're flailing around in the lake... "
Em Schulz: You're drowning.
Christine Schiefer: "Like they're gonna get carbonated no matter what at this point." And I was like, "Okay." So I'm like trying to like throw them and all I hear is like, I'm kind of going under and holding the High Noons above my head is... It looks like John Lennon drowning because I had those like gold round glasses on.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: And I was like... [laughter] So they came to my rescue, which ended up not being as, I think I made such a scene that they were like, "Christine, what the fuck was that?" I was like I don't know...
Em Schulz: I can imagine... I can see someone easy breezy just floating over to you, just picking up the can, just floating away as you're just like fl-flailing.
Christine Schiefer: And they're like, "Are you okay?" And I was like, "Oh, I'm fine." And they were like, "How much water... Like, you were like spitting water out like a fountain." And I was like, "I don't know." I... I like just... I was like, "How... Guys, how do I get over to you?" And then I like immediately stepped into like seven foot water and was like, okay, [laughter] Umm, just not my brightest moment, but I think the way that Renée and I...
Em Schulz: You don't know how to tread water?
Christine Schiefer: But not when my hands were up in the air [laughter] Like, I was like trying to like hold, do you know what I mean?
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Like, I was like trying to hold them up and they said, "Don't fucking hold them. They float." And I just didn't like believe them, I guess. I don't know. Anyway, I don't know why this...
Em Schulz: I like how... Even if it wasn't true, just like, we'll sacrifice the three cans for you to stop looking like this, like... [laughter] [laughter] They'd be like, please, end it. Please end it.
Christine Schiefer: They were like, "Please make it stop immediately." [laughter] Umm, anyway, the point is I don't know what the point is, but the point is Renée and I were both on...
Em Schulz: The point is good luck... Good luck, Em on Zoloft is what?
Christine Schiefer: Renée and I are on Zoloft and we both were like, "Well that was interesting," and like moved on. And I was like, okay. You know?
Em Schulz: Well, you know... You know what's weird? So I was taking Lexapro.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Or... And I... I was trying to take Lexapro, but what's so interesting, and I don't know anyone out there who just happens to like perfectly understand my body chemistry. Please make it make sense. But, umm, it gave me all of the symptoms that of my like fainting spells.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, like the wooziness and stuff?
Em Schulz: Like to a T though, like, I thought I didn't... Didn't even cross my mind that it had to do with the medication for a while.
Christine Schiefer: Ohh.
Em Schulz: I thought I was having a flare up or something and it was just...
Christine Schiefer: Ooh.
Em Schulz: But then I realized it was just my body trying to get used to the Lexapro and I was like, "Fuck this."
Christine Schiefer: Well, some people... Some people take Zoloft at night because they're like, "Oh, it makes me a little woozy." So... Or just like a little bit like, I don't know. So... So maybe try it at night first so you're not like...
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I don't know.
Em Schulz: I would like to... I'll try it at night for sure. But it was... It was wild. I was like, "This is not worth it." So I just.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I don't blame you. That sounds like a lot. Uh, so.
Em Schulz: Not... It sounds... It sounds like a lot but does not sound like everything you just described.
Christine Schiefer: I don't think... Just talked to you directly out of Zoloft and I apologize. Uh...
Em Schulz: No. You just talked me out of taking it, uh, during the day. So I'm willing to give it a whirl and see what happens.
Christine Schiefer: Give it a whirl. I think it is, uh... It has really done a lot for me.
Em Schulz: Hmm. Where are we? Well, it's almost been 20 minutes and we haven't done anything, anything iri...
Christine Schiefer: It's been twe... It's been... Oh my God. I'm so sorry I talked so much [laughter]
Em Schulz: It's okay. No, I... Hey, I'm here for it. I don't know what everyone else is here for, but.
Christine Schiefer: I don't think anyone else is here to be honest.
Em Schulz: Anyway, you drink because a lot and I drink because I have to get on a plane. So, umm, that's why we drink, for whatever reason everyone else chooses to drink this week. I hope it's better...
Christine Schiefer: We support you.
Em Schulz: More sane reason.
Christine Schiefer: We cheers to you.
Em Schulz: And this is your weekly reminder to drink some water you little thirsty rats.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. I did bring some water today actually.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: So... Usually I just have coffee.
Em Schulz: I need to change my Brita filter and I'm aware of that. And so I'm kind of scared to drink my own water. You know?
Christine Schiefer: Oh my gosh. Those things are fine. You're fine.
Em Schulz: I'm sure I am. And there's like nothing going on in here, but I just feel like I can... Like I'm just eating mouthfuls of bacteria all of a sudden. I, umm...
Christine Schiefer: I don't think that's how, uh, water in a big, umm, metropolitan city works. But...
Em Schulz: I... My... Did my brain ask for your opinion on that one? [laughter] No. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Whoa.
Em Schulz: Because my brain... My brain truly.
Christine Schiefer: I get it. I do.
Em Schulz: Well, obviously will spiral. I believe that this is now a cup of sludge. It's perfectly fine water. It tastes fine, but in my brain. I'm drinking mud all of a sudden.
Christine Schiefer: I know. I think I just felt like I had to say it so that our listeners weren't like, what is their... You know what I mean? Like, so we have both sides.
Em Schulz: Uh-huh. Well, per usual but I...
Christine Schiefer: I don't know. I don't know.
Em Schulz: I... I am a diva. And also I...
Christine Schiefer: You are though, you are that.
Em Schulz: Often will find a reason to have a crisis. And today it's about Brita filters. I am such a... I don't even know what the right word is, but I have...
Christine Schiefer: Diva. You did say that already.
Em Schulz: I... I already said that one.
Christine Schiefer: I know you need a new one, huh?
Em Schulz: But I... I have... I'm a full loyalist to the water filter brand though. To the company or to the industry, and now...
Christine Schiefer: To the Brita Company?
Em Schulz: Not to the Brita Company, to the water filtering industry. And now when...
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: I know that my filter is dirty, I think all water is dirty. I don't know what is wrong with me. Anyway...
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Like it... Probably... Well, we'll discuss that later. I'm like, probably... Nevermind. It's not time to diagnose you, uh... Or I'm trying to diagnose you.
Em Schulz: I'm just unwell always. I just am always looking for a reason to be unwell. So.
Christine Schiefer: Well, yeah.
Em Schulz: Umm, anyway, that's also why I drink, dirty water, apparently. So.
Christine Schiefer: Excellent. [laughter] It was your idea to drink water, to be fair. Nobody made you do it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: It was this or milk. And I knew you'd have something to say.
Christine Schiefer: Eew. Ugh!
Em Schulz: Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: 'Cause you would have something to say and it would be, "Mmm, mmm, mmm." The entire show.
Em Schulz: That is honestly so true. So.
Christine Schiefer: Sorry. Ever since you said I didn't ask for your opinion, I've felt very defensive and now I just feel like I keep shouting at you and I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry.
Em Schulz: I think you're like, you know what? I do have an opinion and here it is.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. And you have to hear it no matter what. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Well, I'm excited to hear your opinion on this because, uh, I am covering today. I... By the way, shout out to our researcher. I... I feel like I... I wanted to expand our stories and so I've been doing, uh, ghosts and aliens and cryptids for a long time, but I also wanted to get into like more conspiracies and spooky ooky stuff.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh.
Em Schulz: And so shout out for all their help. Umm, but today, uh, they gave me a topic. They're like, "What would you think about doing the 2012 Doomsday Prophecy?" And I went...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: "That sounds great. Sign me up."
Christine Schiefer: Hello. I'm so excited.
Em Schulz: So here are...
Christine Schiefer: Is this like when we thought the Mayan calendar would end or whatever?
Em Schulz: Uh-huh.
Christine Schiefer: Well, I guess I'll... I guess I'll find out.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Yes. So this is a... A combination of both our notes. 'Cause then I did my own deep dives after... After reading up on it.
Christine Schiefer: Got it.
Em Schulz: So, uh, if you don't know, it shocks me that there might actually be someone out there who was born post 2012 that listens.
Christine Schiefer: Impossible.
Em Schulz: Or is maybe just too young to remember. Umm, which...
Christine Schiefer: They would be 10. And I feel like they would be way cooler than me at that age.
Em Schulz: We have some 10-year-olds.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, that's true. We must.
Em Schulz: We... We have... Well, we have parents who let their 10-year-olds listen in the car with them. We've met quite a few...
Christine Schiefer: Hi.
Em Schulz: At our shows, so hello to you. And also this episode won't be scary. So hopefully that's easier.
Christine Schiefer: They're like, "I want Zoloft." There's a lot. We say that, I'm like, "Do those children... Are they okay?" Like, I feel like we're not helping raise them in like an acceptable way, but, you know, whatever.
Em Schulz: At dinner, the 10-year-old's gonna be like, "This water tastes dirty. How's our filter system."
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. "Mom, where's my filter?" [laughter]
Em Schulz: So, umm, okay. So for those of you who for some reason would not know, uh, people thought the world was going to end in 2012. That was only 11 years ago. Uh, we were both...
Christine Schiefer: And we thought it was gonna end in 2000. So like, it just keeps happening.
Em Schulz: Yeah, it... Well, so interesting because there's always a doomsday to prepare for. There's always an apocalypse. Umm, and the most recent one that was very significant was 2012.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: And it was December 21st, 2012, which is 12/21/12. 1, 2, 2, 1, 1, 2. I don't... I don't... You know, numbers. Umm.
Christine Schiefer: Wait, wouldn't it be December? Wait, it was December 21st?
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. So 12/21/12.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I thought it was December 12th. Okay. Nevermind.
Em Schulz: That would've made more sense in my mind. 12/12/12, right?
Christine Schiefer: Right? I... I feel like I was the kid on 12/12 who was like, "The world is ending." And everyone's like, "No. You're so bad at this.
Em Schulz: Everyone was like...
Christine Schiefer: "It's in 10 days."
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter] Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: Oh God, what's wrong with me?
Em Schulz: Umm, so this Doomsday, 2012, uh, was the most significant since Y2K. And for those of you who were not around during Y2K and making me feel incredibly old, umm, Y2K was in the late '90s. It was in 1999. People were freaking the hell out. Umm, because Y2K, which stands for year 2000.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Uh, people thought the world was truly going to end when the clock struck midnight.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: And we were out of the '90s. We were in a new millennia and people were...
Christine Schiefer: Do you know why though? Why they thought it was gonna end?
Em Schulz: Yes. Do...
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: I'm only doing notes on doomsdays. Christine.
Christine Schiefer: Well I thought that was the end of it, so I waited and then you didn't say it. So I was like, "Oh, okay. I guess." Okay.
Em Schulz: Well, I was gonna ask you, do you remember Y2K?
Christine Schiefer: I think so.
Em Schulz: Like, what was your experience?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, well, I was actually in Utah, umm, at a ski resort.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm, good way to go.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I know, right. For New Year's. And I was like, I... I keep hearing whispers about the world ending, but then everyone started joking about it and we were at a piano bar at this like ski resort and we were all dancing and all of a sudden it was midnight and we were like, "Whoa, we're still here." I mean, I was like nine, right? Like, how old was I nine?
Em Schulz: We were... You were eight.
Christine Schiefer: Eight, yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: So I was like, I was just having a good time. What were you doing?
Em Schulz: Uh, I also... I think I... I... I knew there were also whispers, but I didn't know how serious some people were taking it. Umm, I think I...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah I think our parents were probably like, Let's not. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Shielding us.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Em Schulz: Uh, shielding us. And also a lot of people didn't... You know, weren't falling for it. A lot of people were falling for it, but people really did think, you know, when the... At midnight, everyone's at a New Year's Eve party, but at midnight the world's gonna end. And so I remember some people like not, uh, going to New Year's Eve parties that time.
Christine Schiefer: Not going to celebrate.
Em Schulz: 'Cause they were like, "We have to hunker down." Umm, I was only...
Christine Schiefer: What did they think would happen like that? Oh, actually I do know.
Em Schulz: So, umm, anyway, I remember being at our neighbor's house for New Year's... I mean, it was a normal New Year's. I just remember hearing whispers, but I also don't think I knew what was going on. 'Cause I was seven [laughter] But, uh, so Y2K, this is because as of 1999, people were worried about their computers because in... Uh, up until this point, computers and digital calendars always listed their data, umm, with like a log of... Like a timestamp. But the timestamp always had, uh, only two digits for the last... For the year instead of four digits.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh.
Em Schulz: So instead of saying, uh, you know, send this thing out in, on June 3rd, 1998, it would just say 98.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: You know what I mean?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Like, you know, the com... It only registered as two digits.
Christine Schiefer: The like code... The time code only had the two digits for the, for the year.
Em Schulz: Yes.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: So, uh, a lot of people thought that when 2000 hit, all of a sudden it would say zero zero. And the computer would not know what the zero zero meant.
Christine Schiefer: And would murder us all. [laughter]
Em Schulz: They thought it would either, like, maybe the computer would think it was 1900.
Christine Schiefer: Oh God.
Em Schulz: 3000. Like they thought the computer...
Christine Schiefer: 3000.
Em Schulz: Would just revert back to binary and zero zero.
Christine Schiefer: What if they thought it was the year zero? They were like... It's, we're starting over. It's Jesus's birthday.
Em Schulz: Well, so here's a quote about it. Uh, "Trouble is when the computer's clock would strike 2000, the math can get screwy. Date based equations, like 98-97 equals one. But. But that became 00 minus 97 equals negative 97." So all those...
Christine Schiefer: Okay but like who made the computer and was like, Oh, we don't need this till 2000. But we won't...
Em Schulz: Well, I'll tell you, people have known about this problem since 1953. And so...
Christine Schiefer: What!? And known about this non-existent problem or known about...
Em Schulz: No, since 1953, people have been saying, "Should we do something about that? 'Cause what's gonna happen when the calendar says 00?"
Christine Schiefer: But how is there, there were... Were there computers in 1953?
Em Schulz: I think they were like, big old...
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: You know... They were not today's computers, but machines, I guess, I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: But so, uh, date-based equations like 98 minus 7 equals 1 would become 00 minus 97 equals negative 97. That could prompt some computers to do the wrong thing and stop others from doing anything at all. So when midnight hit and the year became 2000, a lot of people thought that computers would not know what time it was, so they might not operate appropriately, they might short circuit, if they have to send something out or have to file something a certain way, all of a sudden information would totally get lost, our communications would go down. Umm, and this again, like I said, the problem was allegedly realized in 1953, where there is another quote, "They knew all the way back then that this would be a major problem that would only compound as more and more people, industries, and governments were reliant on computers." So by 1999...
Christine Schiefer: Ahh!
Em Schulz: When all of us are now using like the super highway, that is the internet and...
Christine Schiefer: The super highway. [laughter] The super highway. That's so good.
Em Schulz: All of a sudden, like there's so many people on a computer, those... That's the decade that all of us are getting like computers at home, or we're about to.
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: So many people are now about to either lose their information or it's gonna get saved the wrong way.
Christine Schiefer: Right. Right. Right.
Em Schulz: And you might think like, Oh, my Microsoft Word document is gonna get saved the wrong way, but there were also like industries using... Like Wall Street...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, sure.
Em Schulz: All of a sudden their computers would go down. So people...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, right. And like at that like medical stuff, like all sorts of things.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Banking, everything. So people were freaking out that computers would just lose all their information or would like glitch on its own, they might catch on fire, they might send off the wrong s... Wrong signals, or they might release the wrong codes to the wrong people, they were... Nobody knew, and that was kind of the biggest mystery of it all.
Christine Schiefer: That is a scary thought. I can see how that would be alarming. Yeah.
Em Schulz: And, uh, so the... People thought there was gonna be a global computer crash that would happen the second that midnight hit on new years.
Christine Schiefer: Mmm.
Em Schulz: Umm, people thought because of this, like I just said, like the computers wouldn't know what to do or they wouldn't know how to operate, they thought uh, in places like NASA, their computers would glitch and like missiles would launch themselves.
Christine Schiefer: Oh God.
Em Schulz: People thought the computers and planes would fail, and so the whole system would fail and planes would fall out of the sky. Umm, and people treated this like truly the end of the world. Like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Uh, I mean, I again only remember whispers because I was seven, it... But it was... I did a little looking back and I did a little Googling of like how people prepared for Y2K.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Wow, I mean there were people fully terrified, preppers were having a field day obviously.
Christine Schiefer: Preppers were like, "It's my moment." [laughter]
Em Schulz: They were like, "This is my moment." Umm, this is a quote about TIME magazine from the Assistant Managing Editor that TIME magazine staff set up a generator-powered war room in the basement of the Time & Life Building filled with computers and equipment ready to produce the magazine in case of a catastrophic breakdown of electricity and communications.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] So they were like, We wanna be the only remaining magazine in the, uh, apocalypse.
Em Schulz: They were like, we're gonna be able to still report, which like by the way, no job is worth that. Like, just like... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: For sure not.
Em Schulz: Just a reminder, loyalty to a company is like not that intense, like just if the world's ending...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, I mean, I guess, I do understand if you're a journalist and you're like, I... We wanna make sure we're... We're able to like disseminate information to people like... Right, like if...
Em Schulz: No, it makes sense.
Christine Schiefer: If the world ends, I don't know.
Em Schulz: It makes sense if you're loyal to journalism and getting the news out there and wanted to be a part of that. That's great. But also like...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: If... If... If the world's ending, you're allowed to consider quitting your job, you know?
[laughter]
Em Schulz: If... If you...
Christine Schiefer: I'm sure they thought about it.
Em Schulz: If you... If you think the world is ending to a point where your company has built a war room and a bunker somewhere, maybe like at least ask for a raise before you commit to writing more for them...
Christine Schiefer: That's fair.
Em Schulz: As people are tolerating the aftermath of an apocalypse.
Christine Schiefer: That's fair.
Em Schulz: Umm, know your worth people. That's all.
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: Uh, so I also, I asked Linda, of course...
Christine Schiefer: Of course.
Em Schulz: I... I said, umm, "Give me a synopsis of what you remember people being like leading up to Y2K."
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: And she said, people thought their computer... She would give... I don't... Maybe if I said this is a quote for the podcast, she would have given me some more flowery stuff, but...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, all she said was, "People thought their computers wouldn't work and others thought the world would end, think extremists." It's like yeah, girl, that was...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: That. We already knew that.
Christine Schiefer: She passed the test. [chuckle]
Em Schulz: Umm, she said, "the tech field was hiring programmers like crazy, uh, and the hardest part was rem... Of course, the hardest part was remembering to write 2000 on checks versus 1999." Okay, so that was a hair flip for my mother.
Christine Schiefer: The hardest part. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Like I was so inconvenienced I just... Just writing a check was difficult for me. So she...
Christine Schiefer: I mean I do that literally every year I write the wrong date for like a month.
Em Schulz: Yeah, so she, umm, fully just apparently why she said it's not...
Christine Schiefer: She struggled...
Em Schulz: It was not of a concern to her until she had to write a check. So, umm, despite her though, there were several preppers, freaking the fuck out, like I said, there were actual companies building bunkers to be able to continue after everything.
Christine Schiefer: That's wild.
Em Schulz: People were throwing their computers out of windows and destroying machines because they felt like maybe their computers would come to life and...
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God.
Em Schulz: Control their homes. I mean, think of if that... If a Y2K scenario happened today with the technology we have.
Christine Schiefer: People would be running around collecting iPhones off the street and like laptops.
Em Schulz: I mean, this... This was... I mean I get that like computers in '99 were scary because they were so new and we didn't know how they worked, but think of like how people panic now about A-L-E-X-As or like, or like...
Christine Schiefer: Or like AI. [chuckle]
Em Schulz: Or AI. AI, or like they're... Or TikTok like, oh, they're watching you through your phone or whatever.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: So like if we had a Y2K, technology is taking over the world fear today, it would be... It would make Y2K look... Look like nothing.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: So...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, I agree. Let's like keep it on the DL guys. I don't wanna start... Like I don't have the energy for that. You know?
Em Schulz: Not... Not today. We have...
Christine Schiefer: Not today.
Em Schulz: Christine needs to take more Zoloft first.
Christine Schiefer: On this?
Em Schulz: Umm...
Christine Schiefer: The day where... Of me being so tired?
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: How dare you? [laughter]
Em Schulz: Wait, can we put that on a shirt?
Christine Schiefer: On this the day of my cat's birthday? That's... I remember hearing that like 20 years ago and I still say it.
Em Schulz: This? Today on the day of my extra sleepiness, the day that I really need a nap?
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: How d... How dare you.
Em Schulz: Umm, so anyway, people were freaking out. They were so scared people were quitting their jobs 'cause they really thought the world was ending and they were just gonna do whatever they wanted for the last week. Umm, in some places...
Christine Schiefer: Damn.
Em Schulz: Christmas breaks were being, uh, extended so people could leave earlier, so they could be home...
Christine Schiefer: Oh. That's nice.
Em Schulz: Well, so they could be home under... Uh, oh no. Yeah, they could be home on New Year's and then they could maybe need the extra time off to survive, you know?
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: But they had to go back to school later I guess.
Christine Schiefer: I know, but that's nice if you don't believe it and you're like, oh, okay. I'm not worried. But I got an extra week off.
Em Schulz: Yeah. But there were people freaking out. It also happened in 2012 where people were, umm, extending it the opposite way where Christmas break started earlier. So it was before December 21st.
Christine Schiefer: Ahhh.
Em Schulz: So interesting that they both happened like within a week of each other, you know, days wise. December 21st and Jan... And December 30.
Christine Schiefer: That's true. Yeah, that's true. At Christmas time.
Em Schulz: Anyway, so it... Everyone was panicking it... Or not everyone, I guess my mom was in the room drinking wine or something. She was fine.
Christine Schiefer: Your mom was trying to figure out how to write a check now that it's 2000.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Uh, like it wasn't hard to go from '98 to '99, but going to '00 was crazy.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, so when... So okay, Y2K happened.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Christine was in Utah. I was...
Christine Schiefer: [chuckle] I was dancing. I was having a... A good time. [laughter]
Em Schulz: At my neighbor's house. The ball drops and midnight hits and nothing happens. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Wait. Eva just texted in. I turned off the lights right at midnight and convinced even my very tech savvy dad that something had happened. I'll never pull a better prank.
Em Schulz: [gasp] That's evil.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my Lord, yeah. Eva's dad worked in like tech and IT, so like that is a big...
Em Schulz: He had... I should have...
Christine Schiefer: Bold move.
Em Schulz: I should have asked P. Gross what his opinion of Y2K was. We would've...
Christine Schiefer: You should. Well, he was like, the light's all turned off and then I found out it was my daughter Eva.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: That's brilliant. That's crazy.
Christine Schiefer: That's... Thats like bold though. That's like very brave. Uh...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yikes.
Em Schulz: Well, well done Eva. That's a prank that I wish I could...
Christine Schiefer: That's a good prank.
Em Schulz: If I could go back in time to play a silly prank, I think I'd steal your idea and make my mom be more scared. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh, my God. She said. I remember him screaming, "Oh my gosh. It happened."
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Noo. P. Gross.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Oh that is...
Christine Schiefer: Poor P. Gross.
Em Schulz: He didn't deserve that, but...
Christine Schiefer: He doesn't deserve that.
Em Schulz: I deserve the story though, so I'm glad that I heard it.
Christine Schiefer: But it was it... It was worth for us for sure.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Well, okay, so Midnight hits, P. Gross is terrified.
Christine Schiefer: Screaming.
Em Schulz: Screaming. Uh, and the rest of us are fine because nothing actually happened.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: And how embarrassing January 1st must have been for other people.
Christine Schiefer: So awkward. So awkward.
Em Schulz: You know there had to be someone who was thinking like, well the day's not over yet and it's like... Like someone had to like, be...
Christine Schiefer: Like give it up, you know.
Em Schulz: Digging their heels, you know? Anyway, people were like, Well I guess it didn't happen. And then like, a bunch of embarrassing chuckles for...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: For the... Across the globe.
Christine Schiefer: And then it was like, I was only kidding. Right? Were you guys only kidding? Totally. We didn't really believe it, right?
Em Schulz: I feel like... I feel like in today's world, wouldn't people just look to places with time zone changes and be like, "Did your computer fry?"
Christine Schiefer: Oh, great. Wait, that's so smart.
Em Schulz: Like why didn't anyone ask that?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I remember I was on... I was in Mountain Time, I think, and I do remember people talking about that. Like, has anyone heard from California?
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I don't know what to tell you is... Did someone send an email on Hotmail from California to... To tell us we're all okay?
Em Schulz: Yeah. Did anyone use the one computer in this entire buildings for us to maybe email general California?
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Let's get... Someone get California on the horn. [laughter]
Em Schulz: So nothing happened and people eventually just kind of moved on to the next doomsday which was 2012.
Christine Schiefer: There's always gotta be one.
Em Schulz: There's always one. The second one's gone. And especially, I mean, think about even... Again, I always find a way to bring up QAnon.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: But think about even like just general conspiracy theorists that if something doesn't go as predicted, eventually you just say like, "Oh well I got the date wrong." Or, "Oh, it changed." Or like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Oh, it was a misunderstanding. We just did the math wrong or something. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah, which like, Okay, so I shouldn't rely on you. I shouldn't trust you is what that means.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. It doesn't seem like you... You know what you're doing.
Em Schulz: You're telling on yourself. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: Anyway, umm, so the next Doomsday Prophecy became 2012. So do you remember... We were in college at this point. Do you remember, uh, hearing about 2012? Like what was your experience with this?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So I had 22... So that was actually the month I graduated. Umm, 12...
Em Schulz: Oh, okay.
Christine Schiefer: Of, yeah, December of 2012. And I remember thinking if this is the end and I just had to like do final exams...
Em Schulz: Like all this work for nothing.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, like... Like I will never forgive the universe. Umm, but that like, uh, that day, December 21st, umm, my ex-boyfriend dumped me in an airport, so I was already having a bad day. Umm...
Em Schulz: It was already the end of the world. As far as you're concerned.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it was... I don't know if it was on the 21st, but it was that week. Umm, do you know what day of the week that was, that December 21st, 2012?
Em Schulz: No.
Christine Schiefer: I don't know. Whatever.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: I'll look it up, 2012.
Em Schulz: Do you remember hearing about it though? Like... 'Cause there were like years before 2012 where people would...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it was a Friday. That is the day, that is the day he dumped me on an airport. Yep. Uh...
Em Schulz: Oh good.
Christine Schiefer: I remember everybody... [chuckle] Everybody saying, umm, uh, oh. It's the Mayan calendar has predicted it. That's what I remember. What do you remember?
Em Schulz: I mean, I remember years leading up to it, like even in... Still in high school, people saying, "Oh, well, in 2012, the world's gonna end."
Christine Schiefer: I remember high school. I guess that's true. People did talk about it. I forgot about that.
Em Schulz: And so it became a... A bit of, you know, this one day prophecy, which like, we already, we... We just did Y2K like eight years ago. Why are we already talking about this thing now? Now I gotta worry for the next four years.
Christine Schiefer: And it was not... Oh... Oh I was gonna say, isn't it literally 12 years ago? But I see what you're saying. Like in... Leading up to, okay.
Em Schulz: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, uh, yeah, I remember people saying, "Oh, well, in 2012 the world's gonna end."
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: The world's gonna end. And I never understood why. I knew I had also heard Mayan calendar, calendar but that was really it.
Christine Schiefer: Mayan calendar. Yeah.
Em Schulz: So the 2012 prediction was heavily based on the Maya Long Count calendar, which I learned by the way, that it's Maya not Mayans. Umm.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay. Oh, wait...
Em Schulz: Apparently...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I feel like I should know that.
Em Schulz: Apparently based on English Mayan sounds right. But it's actually Maya, unless you're saying... Unless you're talking about language, then it's a Mayan language of the Maya...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, Mayan.
Em Schulz: People.
Christine Schiefer: Right. Like a Mayan calendar of the Maya people.
Em Schulz: So yeah. So this is the Maya Long Count calendar.
Christine Schiefer: Gotcha.
Em Schulz: And there's often this false narrative that people believe, which was [chuckle] you and me involved.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: That Maya culture is this ancient civilization, which it was... It was an ancient... It is an ancient culture. But the thought was it was an ancient culture, and all the people were totally wiped out, and...
Christine Schiefer: Mmm.
Em Schulz: They had some crazy prophecies. And the fact that they're gone, how could they not see this coming? Or did they see this coming? And they just left the earth like it was... They were like a... Like an advanced knowledge civilization. And it became...
Christine Schiefer: Huh.
Em Schulz: Very, uh, you know.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Louder, louder and bigger than it needed to be.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: But so the mystery was always, they... They always predicted that 2012 would be the end of the world. And because their... Their calendars just stopped there. Their calendars just stop. And so they must have either died themselves before they could finish the calendar, or they just knew that was the end.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: And then they like left the planet, or I don't, whatever they decided to come up with.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: They left the planet. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Whatever they decided on.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: So it was just truly... I mean, also we were 16-year-olds. I'm sure whatever version I heard was just so...
Christine Schiefer: Exact...
Em Schulz: So off in so many ways.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly. We weren't like trying to find the most like, respectable way to discuss the Maya people like...
Em Schulz: Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: You know at 16. Definitely not.
Em Schulz: Especially because we had all heard that it was this ancient civilization and all the people were wiped out from some disaster we don't even know about. But Maya culture is still around and has over 6 million descendants in Central America alone.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: So so...
Christine Schiefer: Well, when I went to Belize, I met so many people who were like, oh, yeah, that's my family. I'm part Maya. And it was so cool because like, I got such a better insight than like just...
Em Schulz: Well...
Christine Schiefer: The fucking school, like playground gossip, [laughter] obviously from my youth.
Em Schulz: And also it just... It just like goes against everything we were taught of like, oh, they were wiped out and they don't exist anymore.
Christine Schiefer: They don't exist. They could never tell us what it all meant. Yeah.
Em Schulz: It's like they're right fucking here. What are you talking about? Uh, so of course, good old USA did not care about that little plot hole that...
Christine Schiefer: No.
Em Schulz: The Maya people are very much still with us. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: That doesn't sound right.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Okay. Just denying it to their faces. We've never done that before.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, so in the 1970s new age, spiritualists started talking a lot about Central American mysticism and ancient...
Christine Schiefer: Mmm.
Em Schulz: Beliefs with no backing, no real sources. Uh.
Christine Schiefer: That seems right.
Em Schulz: Can you believe it.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Right. Shocking.
Em Schulz: In particular, people focused on ancient Maya culture because they thought, uh, it's people had advanced knowledge about the secrets of the universe and humanity and where we belong.
Christine Schiefer: I love how we give them the credit of being like, these genius, whatever. But then we're like, but shut up. We're telling your story. You know what I mean?
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Like, oh wow.
Em Schulz: Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: They were so wise and all this, but then like, we refused to... Or whatever.
Em Schulz: Imagine going up to a Maya person and saying, "Oh, they... If only they were still with us."
[laughter]
Em Schulz: They were so smart.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly. It's so... It's so silly.
Em Schulz: And then a Maya person's like, I'm right here. I'm the smarty pants in the room to tell you I exist as a person right in front of you.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Fuck.
Em Schulz: And I can just see the... The spiritualist going. Shh, shh, shh.
[vocalization]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Hey, will you be quiet? We're having a conversation over here.
Em Schulz: Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so this all by looking into quote, "Maya mysticism" uh, this led to a resurgence of, uh, a sect of new ageism called Mayanism, which focused on alleged Maya beliefs and knowledge, again, with no research or Maya people backing it as sources. So we just called it Mayanism. There it is.
Christine Schiefer: There it is.
Em Schulz: Uh, some followers of this believed that Maya people had made contact with aliens. Uh, others thought that Maya people knew a great white Aryan race from Atlantis.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, good.
Em Schulz: Uh, and those people taught them advanced agriculture and how to build pyramids. So of course, of course. If it wasn't already fucked up enough, the white people said... Our ancestors actually taught them how to be smarts.
Christine Schiefer: They're only really wise because white people told them how to be, or aliens. There's really no in between [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. It's either other worldly...
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Or white people from Atlantis.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Well, white people.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.
Em Schulz: Like what a weird sleight of hand to distract you of like, "Well, they're from Atlantis." Ooh but it's like, mmh.
Christine Schiefer: It's crazy.
Em Schulz: So...
Christine Schiefer: But they're an Aryan race. Let's not forget it's...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: And they're the reason that anyone else could thrive, apparently in mysticism. Sure.
Christine Schiefer: Sure. Of course.
Em Schulz: Umm, so specifically what people focused on the most in this Maya mysticism was the Maya Long Count calendar, which did exist, but people...
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Just really ran with it. Umm, so they followed this the most out of anything else of Maya culture because, uh, the ancient Maya peoples were known to be highly skilled expert astronomers, expert, uh, mathematicians. And they created some of the most accurate timekeeping systems that we've ever known, still.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: So, uh, people looked at the calendar and was like, well, this has to be right. We can track everything that's gonna happen.
Christine Schiefer: Sure.
Em Schulz: Umm, and there are actually a few calendars that we've... That people use in different areas. There's one in Guatemala that is, uh, a Maya calendar that's 260 days long...
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: Instead of 365. But the... The Long Count one is the one that we care about.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Umm so the calendar we're used to, the 365 days, it's very cyclical, it's very quick, ironically, 'cause in my mind, 365 days is very long.
Christine Schiefer: Feels pretty damn long.
Em Schulz: But it's... Those are still short spurts for every 365 days time essentially repeats itself on paper where...
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: You know, you go back to...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: January and you start over.
Christine Schiefer: Sure.
Em Schulz: And we're able to live through multiple sets of that rotation.
Christine Schiefer: That makes sense.
Em Schulz: Umm, but the Maya Long Count calendar is linear and just never... There's no... There's no circular going back to a date...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, interesting.
Em Schulz: It just keeps going and keeps going and keeps going. So it's not really a calendar.
Christine Schiefer: I didn't know that.
Em Schulz: Uh, like we know it. It's more just a list of days counting since creation.
Christine Schiefer: Got it.
Em Schulz: And time is broken up very differently on this calendar, so that way we're able to... It's more palatable for us. Umm, I wish I knew how to describe it better. I'll... I... I got a picture, I'll... I'll show it to you in a second, but let me try to describe it before I send you this picture.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Umm, the way that you would look at a date according to, uh, the Long Count calendar, it wouldn't... There wouldn't be a month and there wouldn't be days in that month and there wouldn't...
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Instead it would be, umm, their time is broken up into a certain amount of days, which end up as a certain week. A certain amount of weeks become like essentially, uh, I guess a month. There's, umm... The smallest quantifier on this calendar is 20 days that you and I would know those days are called kins, days are kins.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: So 20 kins equals a Uinal. So it's not really a full month, it's just 20 days.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: So it's almost like three weeks for us. But that's a Uinal. 18 of those, or 18 sets of three weeks, uh, becomes a Tun 20... I don't expect you to remember this, but just to give everyone an idea, 20 Tuns becomes 7,200 days, or, uh, a K'atun. So it's called 20 Tuns is a K'atun, 20 K'atuns is a B’aktun and a B’aktun eventually, just to give you a rough number of a B’aktun, that is around... It's almost 400 years.
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: It's 394 and a quarter years.
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: Umm, and the Long Count calendar was 13 B’aktuns.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Like the... And then the calendar ends after 13 B’aktuns.
Christine Schiefer: I see, I see, I see.
Em Schulz: So in total, 13 B’aktuns is 1,872,000 days, or just over 5,100 years.
Christine Schiefer: Dang.
Em Schulz: Umm, I watched Hank Green.
Christine Schiefer: I love him. [laughter]
Em Schulz: And this was pre 2012. He was explaining why people thought the world was going to end.
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: And it's... It's very weird because in the video he says, "If you're watching this after 2012," and I'm like, "Ooh, a lot longer."
Christine Schiefer: Hi [laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, but so this is a... A quote from him. Uh, "The Maya people use this calendar to count the days since the last creation because the Maya believed that we are currently living in the fourth creation." Apparently there were creations before us, and there's some deity history there I'm unaware of but our creation is the fourth one.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: Some scientists did the math and actually figured out that the date of the last creation since we got here was 3114 BC on, fun fact, August 11th. Okay. Umm, so that was... So last creation began long time ago.
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: And we were very quickly coming up on the 13th and final... The end of the 13th and final B’aktun.
Christine Schiefer: I see. Okay.
Em Schulz: And so people didn't know what happens after that because does the calendar just reset and we do another 13 B’aktuns? Or...
Christine Schiefer: Did they just not get around to it? Like why...
Em Schulz: Did they not get around to...
Christine Schiefer: Why did it stop? Right.
Em Schulz: And very quickly people just thought like, oh, something must have happened to keep them from continuing to write or something like that.
Christine Schiefer: I see. Yeah.
Em Schulz: And that is how we ended up, uh, with this Doomsday.
Christine Schiefer: Interesting.
Em Schulz: Because if you on a calendar, write out the dates of... The date that becomes the... Let me... Let me show it to you and maybe you can actually help me...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Talk. Like, explain it to people who don't have their computer on them. This is a... A Hank Green.
Christine Schiefer: Original.
Em Schulz: Screenshot. [laughter], yeah. An OG. So this is what a date would look like from the Maya Long Count calendar.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. This is what the date would look like on a Maya Long Count calendar.
Em Schulz: So the... The 12, so it... Remember I said like time was like broken up into, uh...
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: B’aktuns.
Christine Schiefer: Like all those segments.
Em Schulz: Yeah. So each one is a different thing. So it goes from biggest to smallest. And it's just to give you a more specific date. So we're in the 12th B’aktun. The... The number that we're looking at by the way is like 12, 18, 6, 16, 2. And the 12th, it represents 12 B’aktuns. The 18 represents the one underneath that and underneath that and underneath that. So it becomes like a...
Christine Schiefer: So it like narrows down almost to a more specific date.
Em Schulz: To show you what day we're on. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Got it.
Em Schulz: Umm, and we can put that on Instagram.
Christine Schiefer: So it's like as if... So it's like as if we were to say it's the year 2020, or it's like the century... The whatever century this specific year, 2023, the specific month is this...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Specific day. The... So it's just like more specific as the numbers go on?
Em Schulz: Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Got it.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah. So it's a... It looks like a lot of numbers, but it... It... As... As the more numbers there are, the more defined it gets on what day we're on.
Christine Schiefer: I see.
Em Schulz: And the number that he used as an example was 12.18.6.16.2. But, uh, if you look at the date, December 21st, 2012, aka Doomsday, that was 13.0.0.0.0. It was the beginning of...
Christine Schiefer: Ohhhh, okay. I see.
Em Schulz: 13 being... So we would have then fallen into the end of the 13th B’aktun we would be at 13. So people would start freak...
Christine Schiefer: Okay. And it was the last one they had discussed. So it was like...
Em Schulz: And it was... Exactly.
Christine Schiefer: What happens now. Okay. I understand.
Em Schulz: Sorry. I didn't mean to overexplain that, but I... I...
Christine Schiefer: No, I mean, I... I think you did a really good job. I really like... I actually didn't really understand it.
Em Schulz: Without a visual for most people. I... I'm just trying very hard over here. So...
Christine Schiefer: No, you're doing good.
Em Schulz: Thank you. So it... People freaked out. They didn't know if that just means the calendar com... Like reverts back or is this the end of the world? Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: It also happened to fall on the winter solstice, which, you know, made it more significant to some people. And this theory actually gained popularity back in the '80s and '90s. But the advent of the internet is what made this theory super popular.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Uh-huh.
Em Schulz: Especially when... Especially when on the internet, like on the computer is where Y2K happened or that's what everyone was afraid of. So Y2K happens now everyone goes back on their computer being like, "Well, I guess nothing happened." And people are on the forums, Reddit is there...
Christine Schiefer: They're like, "Not so fast."
Em Schulz: YouTube.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. So I'm sure it was... They didn't have the word back then, but it was probably trending online...
Christine Schiefer: Right.
Em Schulz: That people were talking about the end of the world. And so people were looking it up on the internet and found a whole new way to...
Christine Schiefer: They're like, "Not again."
Em Schulz: Like, dig their heels in.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Ah, so personally, for 2012, I remember people going nuts. This was my version of Y2K, but I have some understanding of... I remember...
Christine Schiefer: I think I watched the Hank Green video, I'm pretty sure I remember being like...
Em Schulz: Oh really?
Christine Schiefer: Guys, this isn't... But my school was also like, so nerdy and like whatever that I think everybody was like, "You guys actually the Mayan calendar," you know, I think...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Everyone like immediately was like, if you believe that you're dumb. So I was like, okay. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Well, I remember people freaking out, not around me, but I remember hearing about it everywhere. This was also...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Probably different than Y2K because everyone had internet now. Right. So...
Christine Schiefer: That is true.
Em Schulz: So it was probably hotter than Y2K. It was actually trending places. People had phones in their pocket at this point.
Christine Schiefer: Well and now, like our era... Our age was like on online and being like, oh no, this one's the real... Like, like I feel like when...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: We were younger, it... It wasn't relevant, but now like our generation's using the internet and talking about it.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Some of us had memories of Y2K.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: So it was just like something, uh, like a jumping point. Umm, I remember going into stores and seeing ads everywhere for like survival boot camps, which apparently like...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, shit.
Em Schulz: Apparently their numbers went up like crazy or their clientele went up like crazy.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, God.
Em Schulz: I remember hearing that like bunkers were being made years in advance. Like in 2007 and eight people were making bunkers that would be ready by 2012.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, my Lord.
Em Schulz: I remember there being, umm, at our... The grocery store that was at my school was called Harris Teeter. And I remember...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: They just had like overflow of like freeze dried emergency food as like their... The thing they were trying to sell off the rack.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: And it was, I mean, people were buying it like crazy thinking that they needed emergency food.
Christine Schiefer: Oh Lord.
Em Schulz: I rem... Do you know what my favorite... I remember Heidi and Spencer of The Hills.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] Yeah, of course.
Em Schulz: They... I remember reading something, someone fact check me, that they like, they...
Christine Schiefer: I'm so excited to hear whatever this is. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Apparently they spent like, most of the money they made from The Hills, like on purpose because they thought 2012 was the end of the world.
Christine Schiefer: No. Oh, so they... You mean not on like a prepper? You mean they spent it just to be like, well, the world's ending, we might as well, go out with the bang.
Em Schulz: Just to get... Just to spend it. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Girl, what? No.
Em Schulz: I think, Heidi...
Christine Schiefer: What were you thinking?
Em Schulz: Spencer 2012 money? I don't know what to type in.
Christine Schiefer: I think that's probably good.
Em Schulz: Okay. HuffPost, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt spent $10 million anticipating Mayan apocalypse.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] $10 million. I mean that's a lot of... That's a lot of dollars.
Em Schulz: Okay. In a recent interview, Pratt revealed, he and Mo...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: Montag spent all their cash before Doomsday.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] So you were 100% right.
Em Schulz: We've made and spent at least $10 million. The thing is...
Christine Schiefer: Yo.
Em Schulz: We heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought we've gotta spend this money before the asteroid hits. Dang.
Christine Schiefer: Dude, come on.
Em Schulz: Here's some advice, there's a quote, from them. "Here's some, some advice. Definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming." Uh, great. I needed that information.
Christine Schiefer: Thank you.
Em Schulz: Umm, "I would give my friends 15 grand for their birthday." Christine, are you listening? Umm, "just cash."
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: I... "I would buy people..."
Christine Schiefer: I am...
Em Schulz: "I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple a hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us." Which like...
Christine Schiefer: Holy shit. They were... The people were like, whoa, these guys are really generous. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. They had to have, like in today's world where there's like TikTokers that are servers and they talk about serving celebrities. If...
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah.
Em Schulz: I wonder if they're like, oh shit. Like if I ever... There must have been some rumors in the serving industry of like you wanted Heidi and Spencer.
Christine Schiefer: Imagine like in 2013, though, when they tip like a normal 20% and you're like, what the fuck? I thought you gave out hundreds. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Anyway. Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh, it's not fair.
Em Schulz: So that was my favorite. I remember hearing about them and being like, "What in the world."
Christine Schiefer: And that is bananas. I had no idea. And 10... Uh, 10 million is like a shockingly large amount of money. Like...
Em Schulz: I well... Well I'll never know that. I'll never know that number.
Christine Schiefer: I just thought you were gonna say like, oh, they spent like $100,000 right before, but 10 million? Like...
Em Schulz: They were trying to go through... I... I remember something about them like trying to blow through everything they'd ever made, which is like...
Christine Schiefer: I'm just like, what?
Em Schulz: Wild. 'Cause like what if you're wrong and the world ends...
Christine Schiefer: Like what.
Em Schulz: And you've got a mansion that you have to like pay rent on or something. I don't know how buying a mansion works.
Christine Schiefer: That's like...
Em Schulz: But, umm.
Christine Schiefer: Probably, probably like that. That sounds right.
Em Schulz: Which you're still renting. Yeah.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Still, I mean, don't those fucking YouTubers rent mansions? Like, I think people do.
Em Schulz: Anyway, I thought that was crazy. So people really did think that world was... A lot of people thought the world was ending. Especially the people who have really like leaned into this after they believed in Y2K and that didn't happen. So now they're...
Christine Schiefer: Sure.
Em Schulz: Really almost probably hoping for it, just so they're not proven wrong twice. Umm, one guy actually spent more than a $100,000 dollars building his own Noah's Ark...
Christine Schiefer: Ugh.
Em Schulz: Which, like, how is that gonna help? Who said a flood is coming?
Christine Schiefer: That's embarrassing. He's like, " Oh, you said a meteor. I thought you said a flood." It's like, oyy if... You gotta shut up.
Em Schulz: Yeah. And like, are you really... We've all also thought like Noah really collected two of every animal. Like, was this guy gonna do that, or was he... Did he just want a fucking ark? You know?
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] He's just like, "I have my dog." That's it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Right. Yeah. Anyway, so I think that was kind of crazy. There were NASA scientists who were getting asked constantly about if an asteroid was coming.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, geez.
Em Schulz: Umm, if the world was ending. There's one NASA scientist named David Morrison who said that he was getting emails from adults and children...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: Saying that they wanted to know how the world was gonna end so they could accordingly plan to end the suffering in advance.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, what?
Em Schulz: If you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my gosh. Oh, no.
Em Schulz: So people were truly prepping to hurt themselves and end their own lives before the actual end of the world came. So, they didn't have to suffer.
Christine Schiefer: That is so sad.
Em Schulz: People were also apparently reaching out to him on advice on... I'm so sorry, Christine, on when to euthanize their animals.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God. Oh my God.
Em Schulz: To prevent them from suffering ahead of time. And those... That's just a couple people that sent in emails like that. Imagine the people who really just did it. You know?
Christine Schiefer: Uh, I was gonna say, and you know, that where there's like a couple examples of that.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: It's probably more widespread, and that's fucking terrifying.
Em Schulz: And it probably, there's someone out there who probably did something, and they thought they were...
Christine Schiefer: That's so sad.
Em Schulz: Saving their pets, maybe saving their families because they thought they were... It was a more peaceful way. I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: That is so sad.
Em Schulz: Umm, Discovery Channel put out a television documentary about it, uh, about the 2012 theory, but it only freaked people out even more so like, I mean, not to like have brought such a bummer into this, but really people were freaking the fuck out.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, it was a genu... It's like a... It's like a good example of like how serious people took this. It wasn't just like kids on the playground, like us being like, ah, you know.
Em Schulz: It wasn't just Heidi and Spencer. It was like pe...
Christine Schiefer: And it wasn't just Heidi and Spencer.
Em Schulz: It was people truly contemplating their lives. And also, like, think of the... I... I... I think it was probably already not very ethical then, but think of today's world. Think of how companies would be like exploiting like bunker businesses and like, "Oh, place your stocks here or do this." I feel like it would become almost like... Oh.
Christine Schiefer: Imagine TikTok would be just a nightmare. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Oh my God. And you know, eventually there's gonna be another doomsday thing, and we're gonna keep hearing about it so...
Christine Schiefer: I mean, we just had 2020. I feel like everyone's exhausted from the doomsday thing, but in probably five years they're gonna be like, "Hey, remember when we all thought the world was ending" [laughter]?
Em Schulz: Don't want it again. Think of the generations that hasn't...
Christine Schiefer: Wasn't that fun?
Em Schulz: Think of the generations that haven't even been born yet. And one day they're gonna be like, "Our parents in 2020 just got to like work from home. Like, wow."
Christine Schiefer: Oh my lord.
Em Schulz: To be them, to live like them." And they're like totally negating like, why we had to be home. Anyway.
Christine Schiefer: They're probably just gonna think it's really sad 'cause they don't have to work at all because we live in 2020. They're like, they had to keep working. Like, what's that like?
Em Schulz: Ahh. So, uh, one theory actually, one the... So now I'm gonna give you some theories about why the calendar predicted this would be the end of the world.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Umm, and by the way, the calendar did not predict that this was the end of the world.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Right. Right. To be fair, that was the interpretation of a select number of people.
Em Schulz: People just saw that a calendar ended. Can you imagine someone not totally understanding like a normal US...
Christine Schiefer: I guess that's what I thought.
Em Schulz: Everyday calendar and they saw December...
Christine Schiefer: A Gregorian calendar.
Em Schulz: And they saw December 31st and went, "Oh my God, that's gotta be the end." It's like, "No, you just don't know how to... How a fucking calendar works." Like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Yeah. That.
Em Schulz: We go back afterwards.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: We started it all over again. It's really fun.
Em Schulz: Yeah, exactly. So one of the theories, uh, as to why the world's ending is people thought there was some sort of galaxy alignment problem. People thought that the Milky Way...
Christine Schiefer: I do remember that. I remember that.
Christine Schiefer: So the Milky Way is shaped like a disc, and it is a thousand light years thick. And it is a 100,000 light years wide. She's a big girl. She's a big girl.
Christine Schiefer: Geez.
Em Schulz: And, uh, the sun is 30 light years from the center of the Milky Way, and it moves around. So one trip takes around 200 million years.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: In the very center of our galaxy is a super massive black hole, and the sun is always aligned with it in someway.
Christine Schiefer: Super massive black hole. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: You know, that's my favorite song.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: What are you talking about?
Christine Schiefer: It's a song by Muse. And one time you covered black holes and I was like, "Super massive black... " And you were like, "Why do you keep doing that?" And I was like, " It's a song."
Em Schulz: Okay. I'm apparently still there because I forgot that conversation. And now two times in a row I've been like, what?
[vocalization]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, I'm sure you know it.
Em Schulz: I probably do.
Christine Schiefer: Oh baby I'm a fool for you. Okay, nevermind.
Em Schulz: Maybe.
Christine Schiefer: I'll stop.
Em Schulz: Keep going. No.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: No. No, don't. If you say it one more time, I will. So let's stop right now. [laughter]
Em Schulz: So people, I guess the sun always aligns with the center of the galaxy, but sometimes the earth also aligns and all three of them are in a row.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: Umm, apparently this won't happen again for like 4 million years.
Christine Schiefer: That's probably good.
Em Schulz: Umm, but people... It did happen, I guess in December 21st, 2012, the sun was crossing the galactic equator, which is such a bad ass sentence.
Christine Schiefer: Ooh. [laughter]
Em Schulz: And people thought that meant that all three might line up, and if they did, this would disrupt earth's gravity and thus destroy the planet.
Christine Schiefer: You know, I bet that's why people were scared too, because when you put it in these like fancy words that pe... Like a lay person wouldn't understand.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Like, it's tempting to be like, "Oh, well you would know better than I would." You know what I mean?
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Like if someone can explain it so convincingly, I'd probably be like, "Oh, that doesn't sound good."
Em Schulz: Yeah. I mean, I... All it takes is big words for me to check out and just kind of roll with whatever you're saying.
Christine Schiefer: For su... Be like, " Yep. Got it."
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I'm easy to trick, I'll tell you. So... Another theory is the Planet X conspiracy, where there's this author named Zecharia Stitchin, which sounds like a Harry Potter name. It's what a bad ass...
Christine Schiefer: It does. It does.
Em Schulz: How mystical. Like, oh, I'm Zecharia Stitchin, Stitchin. I'm like, oh my God. I'm just Em Schulz. I'm so embarrassed.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my... My... I just... I'm just Em Schulz and I hate myself now. Thanks a lot.
Em Schulz: I... Whatever you have to say, you're right. And I just...
Christine Schiefer: You are correct. [laughter]
Em Schulz: So this author, umm, he wrote The Twelfth Planet, and he also translated ancient Sumerian texts, which apparently spoke of an additional planet in our solar system we did not know about.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my.
Em Schulz: Umm, he claimed that the text suggested an alien race called the Annunakai on a planet called Nibiru.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, okay.
Em Schulz: Okay. I don't know how true this is. Let's be clear.
Christine Schiefer: It's starting to sound like Star Trek a little bit.
Em Schulz: It's.. giving QAnon a little bit.
Christine Schiefer: Eew.
Em Schulz: Umm, maybe they're right and I don't know, but I have never heard of it before. I'm gonna need some extra facts before I fall for it.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: He says that the... That this alien race, umm, visited Earth thousands of years ago, they actually were in control of us and eventually turned us into humans from apes. So I immediately don't believe this. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Just so we're clear. So this immediately wipes out evolution. Let's be clear on that.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Eventually they left Earth, but now they're coming back. That's the theory. And one believer of this claim that he's actually made... Uh, that they've actually made telepathic contact with this alien race, and they told her that Nibiru and Earth would soon collide into each other, and apparently that would happen in 2003. It obviously did not happen, and then she changed her tune and was like, "Oh, actually it'll be 2012." So there's the theory. Right.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Sure. I'm not convinced.
Em Schulz: Umm, many... Many people.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Especially since 2012 was 11 years ago, and we're still here. I'm really not convinced.
Christine Schiefer: Right. Just so maybe one more bullet and I'll fall for it, but... [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. Also, umm, astronomers and astrophysicists both said that this could've never even been true because if another planet was about to collide into ours, it would've been the brightest thing in the sky, and we would've seen it with our naked eyes.
Christine Schiefer: Ooooh.
Em Schulz: Umm, another theory is that there's this red super giant star called Betelgeuse, love her.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm. Yep. Read about Betelgeuse.
Em Schulz: And this star apparently is dying, and when a star is dying, it can go into supernova, and that's supposed to happen very far from now, like hundreds of thousands of years.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Okay.
Em Schulz: A... When a star goes into supernova, it's when the outside of the star explodes, which that is my version of a dad explaining something, because if your dad were here, he would take like...
Christine Schiefer: I so appreciate this, thank you.
Em Schulz: Three hours to explain what a supernova was. Me is just...
Christine Schiefer: I'm so thankful... You mean if Eva's dad was here, I... I don't know.
Em Schulz: Right.
Christine Schiefer: I'm sure my dad doesn't know how a fucking supernova works, but...
Em Schulz: I'm... I'm talking to you the way that we wish our dads would talk to us about cars.
Christine Schiefer: Thank you.
Em Schulz: Umm, car goes boom...
Christine Schiefer: Car goes boom [laughter]
Em Schulz: With a supernova star goes boom. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh! see, now it all makes sense.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Okay. So, uh, people thought that since the super giant star is dying, maybe it would go into supernova and that would happen on Doomsday, which like, it's so wild that they were like, well, maybe since that day already has so much bad written all over it, that will just be the day that a star explodes, even though it's not supposed to happen for a hundred thousand years.
Christine Schiefer: Right. Right, right, right.
Em Schulz: Even if it did happen, scientists have told us it's way too far away. It would've not affected us, and people thought that this would cause the world anyway, to experience geomagnetic reversal. Aka, the magnetism of the earth would flip north would become south. Our compasses would freak out...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, no that really sounds bad.
Em Schulz: We wouldn't know how to travel anywhere. Our maps would be fucked up. We would...
Christine Schiefer: That sounds bad.
Em Schulz: Uh, GPSs would glitch out because of that. Again, planes would fall outta the sky and...
Christine Schiefer: It sounds like similar to the Y2K thing.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. They also said that if the star went into supernova, then we would have solar storms...
Christine Schiefer: Uh-oh.
Em Schulz: Which would come in and burn us alive. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Cool.
Em Schulz: Reminder for future potential Doomsday predictions. Geomagnetic reversals don't just happen. It happens like once every like 40 million years.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, Really?
Em Schulz: Umm, and when it has happened, the world did not end. So...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I wonder how... What, do you know? Like what does happen? That just sounds like it would be terrible, but I guess not.
Em Schulz: Umm. Well, uh, 40 million years ago, GPSs is glitched out for sure. Uh, I don't know.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, [laughter]
Em Schulz: I don't... I don't know.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: My TomTom isn't working. [laughter] Oh wait.
Em Schulz: TomTom is a 2012 reference for sure.
Christine Schiefer: To be fair, you put me in that headspace. Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: If you don't know what a TomTom is, think Google Maps, but just fucking terrible. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Think Garmin. Just kidding. You don't know what that is either. [laughter] Womp womp.
Em Schulz: Umm, another theory is that the, uh... I guess the Sun has an 11 year cycle and at its peak activity that is called the Solar Maximum. This feels like I'm talking about a wizards quest.
Christine Schiefer: It really feels like you're saying a different band name every five minutes. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Solar Maximum would be a great band name.
Christine Schiefer: Solar Maximum [laughter]
Em Schulz: Umm, that apparently also caused solar storms and flares. And these solar storms would cause massive blackouts. It would take down our global communication, it would damage transformers and equipment and it would take years to repair.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my Lord.
Em Schulz: It would be very apocalyptic if we had a solar storm. Umm, apparently in 2012, but in July, uh, a powerful solar storm actually did just barely miss Earth and it would've...
Christine Schiefer: Oh no, that's not a good sign.
Em Schulz: Uh it would've been really bad if it actually hit earth, but it was perfect timing to start terrifying us for like three months from then or whatever.
Christine Schiefer: I was gonna say, I could see why people would be like, "Well, look at that solar flare."
Em Schulz: Yeah, exactly. Like that could have been bad.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: The other one isn't going to miss us. [laughter] So December 21, 2012 shows up and nothing happens.
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: And people are like, oh, what the fuck? Like twice now this is happening twice I'm being embarrassed.
Christine Schiefer: Oh come on.
Em Schulz: Since then, people have, umm, had a whole bunch of theories as to why we missed the apocalypse because they refuse to believe it just didn't happen. Umm, so my personal favorite, which you already kind of nodded to.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: And we all have... I think most people have heard this, I've certainly heard this.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. I know about this one.
Em Schulz: Is that, uh, oh, well our calendars were just off. It's like, okay. So then one would think maybe even the quote, "Mayan calendar" also...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Was something we shouldn't read into, but whatever. Umm, but people said, our Gregorian calendar is off, and if you add up all the... It's off by a certain amount of days, and if you add up the days over time, we actually ended up being eight years off of our calendar, and so very interestingly, 2012 actually happens in 2020, which is...
Christine Schiefer: They weren't wrong!
Em Schulz: And that one gives me a little shiver me timbers, because...
Christine Schiefer: I was about to say, I think I just got goosecam, like really seriously. That's... That's a little creepy.
Em Schulz: Because that would be interesting. I don't know if I fully believe it, but it is a very silly coincidence. And also, I do remember people...
Christine Schiefer: That's creepy, dude.
Em Schulz: I remember people saying that way before 2020. If I only started hearing about it on 2020, I'd be like, "Oh, now we're looking for explanations."
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: But... But I do remember people saying, "Oh, 2020 is the year. That one's really gonna mess us up, because we were eight years off."
Christine Schiefer: And of course it's like boy who cries... Cried wolf. So we're like, "Okay, 2020, so scary." [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: And then it ends up actually being a nightmare.
Em Schulz: If you predict something's gonna happen every year, eventually you're gonna be right.
Christine Schiefer: That's a fair point. [laughter] That is a fair point. Like eventually something terrible is gonna happen. [laughter]
Em Schulz: But man, 2020... I mean, how many... I don't think there's a person out there these days who hasn't said 2020 felt like the end of the world.
Christine Schiefer: Like an apocalypse.
Em Schulz: It was the end of the world to a lot of people...
Christine Schiefer: It did. Absolutely.
Em Schulz: It was certainly... It was certainly symbolically, metaphorically, the end of a world we knew, because...
Christine Schiefer: Yes. Fair point.
Em Schulz: Time has changed since, and we really can't go back to a world pre-2020. I mean...
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: We can try, but people are gonna talk about it. So however, as bad as things are, if that's true, we technically survived the apocalypse. If 2020 is 2012...
Christine Schiefer: Fuck. Yeah.
Em Schulz: We survived. But instead... Instead of, umm, here's another theory too, is like, Oh, well, did we survive the apocalypse?
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: Like, was that the rapture? And all of us that have survived, are we just like leftovers?
Christine Schiefer: The heathens, unite.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: And, uh, instead of choosing another date to prepare for, because 2012 technically didn't happen, I guess they picked 2020. But some conspiracy theorists just thought like, "Oh, 2012 did happen." Like, I wonder if they just like, "After Y2K and 2012" they were like, "We don't wanna pick a third date." We're just gonna...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, they were like, "This is getting really [chuckle] embarrassing, guys. We need to dig our heels in and double down."
Em Schulz: So they tried to gaslight us even harder...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: And they were like, "No, the end of the world happened, and you just didn't notice." Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Sorry, awkward, you didn't even notice.
Em Schulz: But... And that really is their theory, that the world ended in 2012...
Christine Schiefer: Seriously.
Em Schulz: And we just don't know it...
Christine Schiefer: What do you even mean?
Em Schulz: And this...
Christine Schiefer: Not you, them.
Em Schulz: So this theory took off in 2019 on Twitter. That's seven years ago, in 2012. The end of the world happened, and since then, we have been shifted into a simulation.
Christine Schiefer: Oh! Okay, now you're talking. Now I'm like, "Maybe." It could be. [laughter]
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I was like, "You're not into it, but you're about to be into it."
Christine Schiefer: So like, literally the moment my boyfriend dumped me in an airport...
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: It was like, [vocalization] And then...
Em Schulz: Yeah, you dissociating was actually you being uploaded to a new game software.
Christine Schiefer: Honestly, it's been so much better ever since, so I don't mind at all. I'm happy to be here. [laughter]
Em Schulz: So apparently, our minds, when uploaded to this simulation, didn't notice the time shift, and so it felt like our lives didn't change at all... If this...
Christine Schiefer: That's a very convenient explanation which nobody knows. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Isn't it always convi... Isn't it always convenient with a conspiracy theorist of like...
Christine Schiefer: Fair point.
Em Schulz: "Oh it was... It happened and you didn't even notice, and so there's no way to prove that I'm wrong." okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it's like if there is... Yes, it's always that double-edged thing of like, "Well, you can't not prove it." [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah, it's like, "Okay, I guess so. Let me smile through this pain." So if this shift into a simulation did happen...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: This is also where conspiracy theorists just are grasping at straws to make points. But I guess if I were a conspiracy theorist, I would probably fall for it. I'd at least think, "Oh, that's a nice touch to your creativity."
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: People think in this shift into a simulation, it would explain things such as glitches in the matrix or mass memory errors like the Mandela effect.
Christine Schiefer: Oooh.
Em Schulz: Because our consciousness, it might've been warped during the shift...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that's kinda creepy.
Em Schulz: But we're all trying to remember a time before now and it's all kind of cluttered...
Christine Schiefer: And the one thing we remember is the series Berenstain Bears. That's all we can remember.
Em Schulz: Bingo. Bingo. Anyway, I do think that's creative. It's a good... It's...
Christine Schiefer: It is, it's creative. Don't get me wrong.
Em Schulz: Another theory about the simulation is that in 2012, another big thing that people talked about was the existence of the Higgs Boson particle being confirmed. Umm. Do you remember hearing about that at all?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, I remember that being a humongous deal...
Em Schulz: It is a big deal. Umm.
Christine Schiefer: Can you explain it to me again.
Em Schulz: All I... I know that like I heard stories about like it's gonna be the reason we can time travel one day and all the crazy stuff...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, it was... Like it became like a sensation.
Em Schulz: I... Stephen Hawking said that it would also... It had the potential to lead to the entire universe's destruction... So.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh, and then we're like, "Whee time travel." [laughter]
[laughter]
Em Schulz: It's like, "Get me out of here."...
Christine Schiefer: It's like, "Is anyone listening?" [laughter]
Em Schulz: Apparently, if it wanted to, or if it did dest... Destroy the universe, it would create a vacuum that ate the entire universe...
Christine Schiefer: I like how you said, if it wanted to.
Em Schulz: Like, if it had free will.
Christine Schiefer: If it was hungry enough, it could eat the entire universe.
Em Schulz: I've been that hungry. It's possible.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, to be fair, [laughter] you might be this particle.
Em Schulz: So maybe that did happen, and we got eaten into our universe and somehow got shifted into a different reality, or maybe that's when we got uploaded into the simulation so we wouldn't feel the pain of being eaten up in a black hole...
Christine Schiefer: That's nice. That's thoughtful. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Some people believe this shit, and it's crazy...
Christine Schiefer: It's a little much.
Em Schulz: My pers... Here's my personal favorite, and I wanna believe it so fucking bad...
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: And you'll know why. Some people think that the simulation is being run by our future descendants observing what life was like before them.
Christine Schiefer: Ew, I just got chills.
Em Schulz: So it's like they're going through a photo album of us, but they're playing Sims with us.
Christine Schiefer: Ew... So are we... Can you hear me?
Em Schulz: Hello. We are on to you...
Christine Schiefer: Are we becoming self-aware? [laughter] Are you gonna put me in a pool and take out the ladder now because I'm becoming so self-aware?
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Get me out, please. Hasafwa, hasafwa!.
Christine Schiefer: Hasafwa!. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I want out. Anyway that's my personal favorite, that like our own descendants are in charge of what happens to us, which is like so eerie.
Christine Schiefer: That's incredibly so creepy. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Umm, and a final theory is that if the world has already ended there... There's a chance... By the way, there's no chance. [chuckle] But, umm...
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: That the only reason that... That our simulation, the simulation we're in was created because our reality split when 2012 did end. So the end of the world happened, doomsday apocalypse, and our consciousness somehow split from our physical body. And now we are living in a world created by a mass consciousness. And in the other world where our physical bodies are, they died in 2012. And all of our brains are just ghost consciousness of who we were.
Christine Schiefer: Ew. Ew. What?
Em Schulz: Super creepy.
Christine Schiefer: Okay. Did you ever watch Severance that show?
Em Schulz: Mm-mm.
Christine Schiefer: It's so... Like if you, it's really good. It's really, really good. It has, umm, Adam Scott in it as the lead. And it's... It's kind of like a dystopian, like creepy Sci-Fi like series, but it's really good. Umm, but basically the concept, and this is not a spoiler, but the concept is that it's like a dystopian world where, umm, you can split yourself or create... Put your consciousness into like, uh, another version of yourself that goes to work.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: But that... But you don't know what happens at work and your work per... Your work self doesn't know what happens at home. So will split...
Em Schulz: I have not seen the show, so, but it seems lovely in practice I'm sure... I'm sure that's not...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. That's kind of the point is like, of course it's like supposed to be like utopian and then it's like, but you're putting a consciousness.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: That you just don't... You can ignore it, but then it's like stuck forever at work. So also part of you is always there. It's very creepy.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: It's like a very creepy concept. And they do such a good job where they... It's kind of like they start to like realize what's going. It... It's... It's a good spooky show if anyone needs like a... Something a little.
Em Schulz: Sounds really cool.
Christine Schiefer: It's very good. Umm, and Adam Scott is so good in like a drama, believe it or not.
Em Schulz: I could believe that for sure.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: Umm, also the drama Parks and Rec, he was incredible. And so...
Christine Schiefer: Fair point. The... The heavy hard hitting drama Parks and Rec.
Em Schulz: The ups, the downs, this way, that way...
Christine Schiefer: Oh so many, so many [chuckle]
Em Schulz: Umm, so a lot of people think that apparently we split off and we're just living in a world created by our own psyches...
Christine Schiefer: Intriguing.
Em Schulz: And our bodies are dead somewhere. Umm, this could very well have been caused in this theory by the Hadron Collider or the... The accelerator that showed us that the Higgs Boson particle was possible. Umm, many conspiracy theorists think that the Hadron Collider has the ability to get us to time travel, space travel, astral travel. And so they think maybe the machine malfunctioned...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp]
Em Schulz: And warped our reality...
Christine Schiefer: Eugh.
Em Schulz: Or maybe other realities are seeping in a la Stranger Things.
Christine Schiefer: Spooky.
Em Schulz: Umm, fun fact, in 26... Nope. In 2016, my brain just exploded apparently.
Christine Schiefer: In 26? [chuckle]
Em Schulz: In 26.
Christine Schiefer: I was like, what's that [chuckle]
Em Schulz: Fun fact, in 2016.
Christine Schiefer: Uh-huh.
Em Schulz: Umm, they had to turn off the accelerator because of a power outage caused by a weasel who chewed on one of the cords.
Christine Schiefer: Is it Gef the Mongoose.
Em Schulz: No but...
Christine Schiefer: It's definitely Gef the Mongoose.
Em Schulz: It could be... What's... I am the ninth dimension. Actually that tracks.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] I mean literally. He's like, I am not getting enough attention. Hello. It's me. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Like that... That actually tracks fully that he's from another reality. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: And he decided to fucking chew the wire and end the world because of it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: He was like, get me back to my own town. [laughter] Umm, here's the silly thing. After 2016 when a weasel chewed through one of the transformers or something and shut it down, this happened again. Another weasel at some point...
Christine Schiefer: Huh?
Em Schulz: How many weasels are in this fucking lab?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Who's letting all these weasels in?
Em Schulz: And also, if you're trying to break in to see the Hadron Collider, apparently you can do it via weasel. Like I would...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, good point.
Em Schulz: You know like...
Christine Schiefer: Tie a GoPro onto your weasel, they'll find out for you.
Em Schulz: That's what I'm saying. Like a la home alone. Use your RC controlled weasel.
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: They're apparently not noticing the rampant weasel problem.
Christine Schiefer: There's apparently... There's an... There's a hole they haven't found where they're getting in, in and out. So it's possible.
Em Schulz: Are they just like going in and like fucking around with the Higgs Boson particle and there's just like weasels all over the place and they just don't even... They're like, ah, just it again. [laughter] Anyway.
Christine Schiefer: Oh Lord.
Em Schulz: Apparently twice it has happened. But then conspiracy theorists have been like, which finally I agree with a conspiracy theorist. They're like, there's no fucking way that like one of the most max security science labs had two different weasels on two different days chew through the Hadron Collider.
Christine Schiefer: Okay.
Em Schulz: That is in charge of our Higgs Boson particle.
Christine Schiefer: So they're saying it's a fucking conspiracy.
Em Schulz: So they're thinking it's a coverup for like, maybe the machine malfunctioned in a different way and caused this split in reality.
Christine Schiefer: Oh boy.
Em Schulz: And they're like just using weasels as an excuse.
Christine Schiefer: They're like, "Another weasel." It worked the first time when we told you.
Em Schulz: Eventually some like, pet control has to be brought out, right? Like animal control has to go. It just...
Christine Schiefer: Imagine them being like, we can't tell them. It was another... Like, if it really was another weasel and they're like, "They're literally not gonna believe us." And it's like, well...
Em Schulz: I get that there's like... Like it's a lab, so maybe they have like mice or something. But if you told me yesterday that there were weasels there, I wouldn't have even... I would have never thought...
Christine Schiefer: It's a rampant weasel problem.
Em Schulz: Like why are two loose? Where... Are there more? Where are they?
Christine Schiefer: Maybe it's the same one Em. Maybe he's just like fucking...
Em Schulz: Maybe he's wily.
Christine Schiefer: Having... He's like... Maybe he ate the one and then he was like, "I can't stop thinking about it." And his family was like, [laughter] "Please don't do it again it was so dangerous." He's like, "I won't get the taste outta my mouth until I have another bite [laughter] of that how... Whatever particle." [laughter] I think I figured it out.
Em Schulz: So we can add to the Hadron Collider that it's yummy!
Christine Schiefer: It's tasty. Well, you know what I learned from my dad... Stepdad speaking of car... All his car knowledge. Umm, a squirrel chewed through all my wiring in my car, uh, years ago. And the reason they try to get into... Into the hood of your car is 'cause the... The wires, or at least the older cars, the wires are peanut...
Em Schulz: They're warm?
Christine Schiefer: They have peanut oil on them.
Em Schulz: [gasp] Oh, do you think they used peanut oil on the Hadron Collider?
Christine Schiefer: Maybe they used peanut butter. They were like, this'll... Let's just stick it together. I don't know.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: But I just I mean, at least that's what my stepdad told me. If I'm wrong, you know, that's embarrassing on me. But, umm, apparently in old cars there's like peanut oil in... On some of the core wiring.
Em Schulz: So wouldn't cars just smell like Thai peanut sauce all the time?
Christine Schiefer: I mean, I think it's like a very...
Em Schulz: Like that sounds amazing amazing.
Christine Schiefer: Small amount. And I think it's old cars. 'cause mine was from...
Em Schulz: Okay but like...
Christine Schiefer: Like the '90s.
Em Schulz: To rats, it would smell like Thai peanut sauce, right?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So...
Em Schulz: I mean that's why they're going over there.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So squirrels would apparently like...
Em Schulz: Squirrels...
Christine Schiefer: To uh, get in there. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Hmm. I understand. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Em's like yum.
Em Schulz: I'd like a car if it smelled like that.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Oh, here we go. In many cars, the insulation protecting the wires is made with plant-based materials such as rice husks, soy, or peanut oil. Mice can be particularly drawn to these smells and chew up wire insulation when other food sources are scarce. See.
Em Schulz: It sounds like it was trying to be helpful in one way and ended up creating its own other problem. So...
Christine Schiefer: Who did? Oh the... Oh, the actual... Yeah.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: It's like we're gonna make a... Like an efficient plant-based car and it's like...
Christine Schiefer: Nobody thought about it. Nobody thought about it.
Em Schulz: It's like, okay, but like animals are gonna eat through those wires and you're not gonna have a car.
Christine Schiefer: Oh. Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Anyway, so the 2012 Apocalypse Theory is solely based on loose, loose evidence. But those who support it do say that they haven't felt right since 2012. Although that could be equated to the fact that the older you get, the faster time moves.
Christine Schiefer: I see.
Em Schulz: And a lot of shit has happened since 2012. So maybe the world just feels like it's flying by, 'cause we're dealing with more bullshit than before. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: It's true. It's fair.
Em Schulz: So we don't... We don't really know the reason. It could be black holes, it could be weasels or it could just be like, we're getting older. So...
Christine Schiefer: They're all equally terrifying.
Em Schulz: Oh, yeah.
Christine Schiefer: A black hole, a weasel and aging, all very bad and scary.
Em Schulz: So... And as of right now, I... I... Next Doomsday date, like when's the next one coming?
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: You're Googling it? [laughter]
Em Schulz: Currently we... Oh, nationaltoday.com, I don't even know if that's a good source it says May...
Christine Schiefer: What's that?
[laughter]
Em Schulz: May 21st, 2024. So apparently...
Christine Schiefer: Are you being serious?
Em Schulz: That's the next one.
Christine Schiefer: At least...
Em Schulz: Also...
Christine Schiefer: It's in the summertime instead of Christmas.
Em Schulz: ABC News says, uh, 2023 Doomsday clock. This is how close we are to the apocalypse.
Christine Schiefer: Fun.
Em Schulz: So there's that. If you wanna like be old school Y2K and like put together a time capsule with your girlies, like maybe...
Christine Schiefer: I do.
Em Schulz: This is the time to do it. Umm, by the way, like speaking of Y2K, like time capsules were the rage of the time because...
Christine Schiefer: That's so true. I didn't even think of that...
Em Schulz: We...
Christine Schiefer: They were...
Em Schulz: We really had like a time capsule era as children.
Christine Schiefer: We were like, how will anybody know about the, the magic of an iPod Nano if we don't put one in a box and bury it underground? It's like, because we'll make more and they'll be probably much better.
Em Schulz: Can you... Can you imagine? So time capsules, I really do remember, like, my school did a time capsule I feel like every year...
Christine Schiefer: The heyday, it was a heyday of a time capsule.
Em Schulz: Nickelodeon did a... Like live streamed a time capsule.
Christine Schiefer: Yes.
Em Schulz: I'm still... I still wanna know what's in that time capsule.
Christine Schiefer: When does that get to come out? 'Cause I wanna know.
Em Schulz: I don't know. But I remember the...
Christine Schiefer: Nickelodeon...
Em Schulz: Like The way it was buried looked really cool too. Nickelodeon's time...
Christine Schiefer: In Slime?
Em Schulz: Capsule. It was like buried like in a slime patch.
Christine Schiefer: Oh wait, every item. So they... They tell us what's in it already.
Em Schulz: Oh, perfect. Oh, here. And here's a picture of the... Umm, of the actual time capsule. It looks like slime is inside of it. It's very cool.
Christine Schiefer: Wait, after Nickelodeon Studios closed in '05, the time capsule was moved to Orlando and will be opened April 30th, 2042.
Em Schulz: Oh, we're so close.
Christine Schiefer: I'm so old. That seems so far away.
Em Schulz: Oh, yeah.
Christine Schiefer: A piece of the Berlin Wall was in there!
Em Schulz: Oh wow. That's... That's right.
[overlapping conversation]
Em Schulz: That was Linda Ellerbee. Linda Ellerbee was in charge of that decision.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: That's true...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: She was the only one doing anything smart on Nickelodeon back then.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my God.
Em Schulz: Umm, so I don't know if you saw the picture, but it looks like slime is buried inside of it. It's super cool.
Christine Schiefer: I didn't, umm, let me see if I can...
Em Schulz: It's in Gio's Trio.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, that's neat. Oh, they did a good job with that.
Em Schulz: I remember as a child thinking I'm gonna... I'm gonna see that thing get opened one day. That was like my big thing. But uh...
Christine Schiefer: I was like, can we open it now? I have like no patience. I was like, I think it's okay to just do it now. And they were like no.
Em Schulz: You Know what'd be crazy though, if in those time capsules, like let's say if the world ends and then the people then open up the time capsules. If we just put in a normal fucking calendar in there and now people... We do it all over again and everyone thinks, uh, December 31st is... Is the end of the world.
Christine Schiefer: That's... Exactly, I... It just doesn't make sense.
Em Schulz: I will end on this since we're talking about it. If you had to put together a time capsule right now, what would you wanna put in it? It either could be a personal time capsule or it could be like, what do you think the world needs to know about... About us?
Christine Schiefer: A lemon. Lemon, petrified lemon. He'll survive the nuclear holocaust for sure. He will not... Nothing will...
Em Schulz: That's a fact.
Christine Schiefer: Nothing will kill him. Umm, what...
Em Schulz: He is a bit of a roach.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: He'll... He is a little roach. He probably would love to be just buried on a time capsule. Umm...
Em Schulz: You mean with you?
Christine Schiefer: What do you... And maybe... With me with, umm, maybe some tarot cards. I don't know. What do you think?
Em Schulz: I don't know. I have no idea.
Christine Schiefer: I don't neither. Umm...
Em Schulz: I feel like mine would be like the meanest time capsule ever 'cause I think I would pick things that weren't even from this time just to fuck with someone. Like it would look like...
Christine Schiefer: You'd be an asshole. You'd draw like a picture of me and be like, "This is the ugliest person in 2023."
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: And be like, thanks a lot.
Em Schulz: Okay. But that... That's a timeless joke. People would still think it was funny even then...
Christine Schiefer: You really did just laugh way too hard at that. And now I'm nervous.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: It's so smart.
Christine Schiefer: We should do it an And That's Why We Drink time capsule. I feel like, uh...
Em Schulz: Ohhh...
Christine Schiefer: We could put some booze in there, some wine, and by the time it's open, it's like either really skunked or like has aged to perfection.
Em Schulz: I was gonna say, we could just put grapes in there...
Christine Schiefer: Ohh.
Em Schulz: And it'll just... It'll ferment into wine by the time we're done.
Christine Schiefer: Fucking perfect. Except knowing me, I'll go dig it up two days later and be like, "It's not wine yet."
Em Schulz: We'll put some of your... We'll put some of your Zoloft in there for you and some of my Xanax in there for me. So when we're opening it, if we get stressed, like we've hooked ourselves up. You know, I love giving future me gifts, right? So...
Christine Schiefer: Yes, but I know that also I will be like, oh, I'm running low on Klonopin. And I'll be like, where did we bury that thing? And then I'd go dig it up and be like, it must've been a squirrel. We put peanut oil in there. So he probably got into my Xanax. I don't know what to tell you.
Em Schulz: You Know what I... I do think that we should build a time capsule and then just put a bunch of presents to future us in there. And then when we dig it up in like 10 years, we will just have like a big party and open our gifts to ourselves.
Christine Schiefer: That actually sounds fun. Did I tell you that I actually did bury a time capsule once or a box of treasure? Actually?
Em Schulz: No. That's very fun. What did you... What is in it? Do you know?
Christine Schiefer: It was super fun. So like my, like pseudo stepdad growing up, umm, he and my brother and I created, like, we... So he actually had this, uh, box that was like an army grade metal box that was.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Like totally perfectly sealed and like weather resistant. And so he's like, "Wouldn't it be fun if we made like a time capsule and buried it in the park?" And we were like, hell yeah. So we put all sorts of stuff in, like, we each wrote a little note. I think I was probably like six, uh, or maybe even...
Em Schulz: So it's giving Y2K.
Christine Schiefer: Maybe. Literally it could be. Umm, and we wrote all these little things in it. And then, uh, I remember we put just some tchotchkes and like, stuff that I don't know seemed relevant at the time. Uh, and then we put a note, with our names and a phone number. And like years later I got this Facebook message...
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: And this guy said, "I found your treasure box in the park."
Em Schulz: Shut up.
Christine Schiefer: He said, "I was metal detecting and I found it." And I'm like... I mean, this was like probably, 12 years later. And I was like, [gasp]. And I'd forgotten about it completely. And he's like, "I found... "
Em Schulz: Are you friends with this person now.
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: Or are you gonna... Is it... Was it Blaise? Did you get married.
Christine Schiefer: No. [laughter]
Em Schulz: And have a baby with him?
Christine Schiefer: Honestly, let's go with that version. It's... It's... It's much more romantic. But the guy was like, "I found it in the park." And we were like, holy crap. And like Brian, my stepdad didn't even like live in town anymore. So the number he had put was his landline, which was like, not connected or...
Em Schulz: Sure.
Christine Schiefer: So what he did was like, he found me on Facebook, which obviously back in the '90s we wouldn't have known. But he's like, "So I found your name and like looked you up and messaged you." And, umm, he's like, "Do you want it?" And I was like, "Yeah." And so I went and picked it up, and I brought him like a gift... Like, I don't know, I brought him a gift to be like, thanks for giving it back to me, I guess. And it was so wild to have it. Umm, but I remember like calling my... Calling Brian and being like, "Oh, look what... Like, he found it." And I was going through all the items and he was like, well, where's the like porcelain teacup thing? And I was like, it's not here. And we were like, that...
Em Schulz: Oh, he stole it.
Christine Schiefer: Mofo stole it, thinking it was valuable. And he goes, "Joke's on him that was like, from the Dollar Store." [laughter]
Em Schulz: Ew man, I...
Christine Schiefer: So but he... He stole it and it was like a silver spoon and it like, looked fancy, but it like really was not. Umm, so he took that out.
Em Schulz: Man, I really... I fully was falling in love with this person until he became a crook.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. No. He... I wa... I was mad 'cause I was like, I brought him so much chocolate... Like German chocolate as like a present. Umm.
Em Schulz: He had to feel like garbage, but he probably couldn't go upstairs and be like, "Oh, let me put this back," in front of you.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I forgot to give you the... The shiny pieces that were in there. But, umm... But yeah, so anyway, so that... That happened and that was pretty cool. And then one time I tried... And then I tried to bury another one and the park police were like, "Stop digging up the ground in this park." And I was like, "Sorry." So I didn't do it again.
Em Schulz: My only problem, I mean, I as someone who loves time travel, loves presents to future me, there's nothing that makes more sense to me than to be continually putting out time capsules around the globe. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Just continuous like every, every couple weeks.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Umm, but I... I know my problem would be that I would forget where it was and like...
Christine Schiefer: Oh for sure.
Em Schulz: And like, what if someone I go and look for it one day and a fucking house is built on top of it, like I would be so butt hurt, [laughter], I'd be like so mad.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, it would be like a long con, you'd have to be like, "Are you looking for a roommate?"
Em Schulz: Yeah. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: And then they'd be like, "Why do you have an extensive shovel collection new roommate?"
Em Schulz: Why do you need to know the blueprint of our basement so well? Yeah.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Anyway, that was the 2012 Apocalypse Doomsday situation.
Christine Schiefer: Em, that was such a good story. And also like such a good, just like throwback. Holy crap. You really nailed it. Good job to you or Anne.
Em Schulz: And... Thank you. Well, especially 'cause, uh, apparently I'm learning with TikTok is... Her algorithm is algorithming.
Christine Schiefer: Uh-huh.
[laughter]
Em Schulz: And, uh, I have found myself learning more about the Gen Z fashion of today. And Y2K is back baby, so.
Christine Schiefer: No. It... It really is. And... And I feel like my favorite are the ones that are like, oh yeah, Gen Z, why don't you really commit and wear like jeans under your dress? You know what?
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: The day you wear jeans under your dress, fine. Like... Like, Y2K is back, but like, don't fucking half-ass it. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah. Exactly. Like why don't you wear the jeans that the second, there's a puddle outside, you're fucked. And like...
Christine Schiefer: Oh the flare it like immediately just sopping, muddy, wet jeans immediately.
Em Schulz: Well people are like, why... Why are millennials so into the skinny jeans and the... And the tight joggers and all this.
Christine Schiefer: Why do you think?
Em Schulz: And it's like... It's like we... We ran through those puddles and through those puddles and through... We want things stuck to us now. So we know everything's gonna be dry and clean when we get home. That's why. Leave us alone.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. I can't do any more muddy trailing mud around with my jeans. It's so unpleasant.
Em Schulz: It really is. Like, umm, I'm at the age now where I've seen fashion come and go a few times and I wanna keep up with the Joneses and like, I want... Like, I... I still, I don't wanna, you know, fall into obscurity. Like I... I... I wanna keep up with the times and stuff, but I've seen why those fashions don't work anymore.
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: And so I so badly wanna make sure that like my look is like fresh and cool, but at the same time I'm like, I know in 10 years all these people are gonna look at pictures and be like, why on earth did I dress like that? I looked like so... I looked so stupid. And it's like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. And I feel like it's never gonna last. So why even...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Why even be part of it? 'Cause then like in five years you're gonna look like a loser who isn't up to date. You know what I mean? It's like, it's exhausting.
Em Schulz: Yeah either... Either I look cool now and like knowing I'll hate it later.
Christine Schiefer: And look like a dorkus. Yeah.
Em Schulz: And kind of... And kind of hating it anyway right now be...
Christine Schiefer: Exactly.
Em Schulz: But I'm just trying to fit in or I don't do it and look like a loser now, but get to say I told you so later. So like...
Christine Schiefer: Precisely.
Em Schulz: I don't know. Anyway if you're like...
Christine Schiefer: It's really a lose lose situation. [laughter]
Em Schulz: If you're Gen Z and wearing what you're wearing... Everyone wear what you wear by the way.
Christine Schiefer: Just like...
Em Schulz: But at the same time.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, just wear what you want.
Em Schulz: We thought we looked cool too.
Christine Schiefer: So we get it.
Em Schulz: And this is your time. This is your time to shine. But in 10 years someone else will have a different idea. And we... We all fall into obscurity I guess.
Christine Schiefer: Don't say... You know, don't just... Just be like slightly mentally prepared in the back of your mind that like, it's not always gonna be...
Em Schulz: Maybe flared pants weren't a good idea. You'll understand.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Why we like a skinny jean one day. I promise you.
Christine Schiefer: One day they'll come back and I'll be like, "Fuck, I threw mine away."
Em Schulz: Exactly. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: It's just so annoying. It's so annoying.
Em Schulz: Ah. Anyway, it's your time to shine now, Christine. Regale me. Regale me.
Christine Schiefer: You nailed it. I have quite a story for you today. Umm... I... I wanna tell you like the fun, it's not fun name, but like the like catchy name to this story, but it's gonna give you a spoiler. So I'll tell you like once that spoiler has been out of the way.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Uh, but this is the case of Viktoria Nasyrova.
Em Schulz: Ooh.
Christine Schiefer: And... And it is a doozy. So we're just gonna jump right in because, uh, there is not like too much background information before the actual like, events of this story occur, uh, that we have access to. So I'm just gonna jump right in. So there was a woman living in New York City named Olga Tsvyk, and she was a Ukrainian immigrant in her late 20s. And she was living in New York City as a licensed cosmetologist.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: And was notably a lash technician specializing in eyelash extensions.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: So... So Olga herself, she was reliable professional and she had a studio in Brooklyn where she did all of her work out of... She had her appointments in her Brooklyn lash studio. She was described as trusting and kind, and she did her best to accommodate all of her clients except one woman.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: This one woman put Olga on edge and her name was Viktoria Nasyrova. Viktoria Nasyrova was a Russian immigrant who became a client at Olga's salon and would regularly get her lashes done there. But for some reason, and this... Go... It's like a go with your gut thing. For some reason, from the time she became Olga's client, Viktoria tried really hard to strike up a friendship with the lash technician, with Olga. But Olga was just like not having it.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: And Olga was a very friendly and open-minded person, but she was like, something is rubbing me the wrong way about this woman. And, you know, was perfectly cordial with her, kept her as a client, but just did not wanna meet outside of work to become friends.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Listen to your gut feeling folks, listen to it.
Em Schulz: Yes.
Christine Schiefer: On top of that uneasy feeling, there was something else very strange about Viktoria that made her uncomfortable. And that is that they looked almost exactly alike.
Em Schulz: Eew.
Christine Schiefer: I know, like Viktoria struck Olga as her own doppelganger. And, umm...
Em Schulz: Eugh.
Christine Schiefer: It's just like eerie. I'm gonna send you a photo. And... And I think like the notable thing here too is that, umm, you know, our researcher made a note here too. Like, you think about it and if you are told by somebody like, oh, they look just like you, or you look like that celebrity, oftentimes you don't see it.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: You know what I mean? Like you're, I can't see it.
Em Schulz: But she saw it, she saw it.
Christine Schiefer: But she looked at her and went, oh no. Like we are basically twins.
Em Schulz: It's like looking at a mirror.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah, exactly. So let me send you a photo of the two of them just to give you like an example. And so, umm, the woman on the left is Olga the lash technician. The woman on the right is Viktoria.
Em Schulz: Oh, that is creepy.
Christine Schiefer: Right?
Em Schulz: It's just... It just looks like one of them is wearing more loud makeup compared to the other.
Christine Schiefer: Yes, exactly. It almost looks like if the woman on the left could be dressed up as the woman on the right, like...
Em Schulz: So okay, my first thought is evil twin. My next thought is evil relative?
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: And then, uh... And then my like third more like wild thought is like... Like got like... Like a stalker who was so obsessed with her that she is trying to like get surgeries to become her. Or like a spy...
Christine Schiefer: Oh.
Em Schulz: Who's in disguise or something.
Christine Schiefer: I like that evil twin was like not the wildest theory you came up with. You're like evil twin of course. Uh...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: I recently saw the Triplet documentary where there's like, there were... They all found...
Christine Schiefer: [gasp] That's such a good movie.
Em Schulz: It's very good. And very troublesome.
Christine Schiefer: I watched it on an airplane. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Me too.
Christine Schiefer: Oh my gosh. It's such a good airplane movie.
Em Schulz: Umm, you know what's a really good airplane podcast on Delta exclusive, umm, is...
[laughter]
Em Schulz: Rituals...
Christine Schiefer: RIP.
Em Schulz: But not, And That's Why We Drink yet. I can't wait.
Christine Schiefer: RIP. RIP. Delta.
Em Schulz: One day, And That's Why We Drink will be on there.
Christine Schiefer: Delta? Delta, are you listening? Umm, sometimes I go on there and I just play Rituals and then I mute my volume and I just go about my business and do other stuff. But I'm like... But then I'll just be playing it on my phone.
Em Schulz: For the number? For... [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. For like the one download that they think that it will get. I don't know. [laughter] It's... It's like just not really rational, but, umm, okay. So this woman looked really similar to Olga and she... If I met someone who looked like me and wanted to be friends, I'd be like, cool, we can play evil twin pranks on people. But like, apparently Olga was like, no, I don't wanna be part of this. So.
Em Schulz: I feel like my first thing I'd be like, what is the situation?
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: Why... You can't possibly have walked in here and not be thinking what I'm thinking.
Christine Schiefer: And who are... Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Which is weird 'cause I feel like they didn't even really talk about it. So Viktoria kept pushing to be Olga's friend, which again, like red flag, if you're like, no thank you. And someone like won't drop it. Red flag.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Olga just kept dodging her advances until August of 2016 when Viktoria reached out to Olga and said, "I need... " [laughter] This... I shouldn't laugh 'cause this might be a real thing. She said, "I need an emergency lash appointment." [laughter] And Olga was... [laughter] It's like, it's funny to me.
Em Schulz: I'm sorry. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Because like...
Em Schulz: Maybe, maybe it's true.
Christine Schiefer: Maybe it's a thing and like, I feel like if you're going to a wedding or like whatever. Okay, I get it.
Em Schulz: Sure, sure. I've needed emergency things for events.
Christine Schiefer: Like I've needed emergency spray tans. I get it. Okay. But... But basically she's like, I just have a really tight schedule. And Olga was like, I don't have any available appointments. And Viktoria was like, you need to see me. Like so pushy.
Em Schulz: Whoa.
Christine Schiefer: And Olga was like, "You know what? Fine." Umm, she's a licensed cosmetologist, so she's like, "Fine, I'll make an exception. Come to my apartment and I'll do your lashes at my place."
Em Schulz: Oh. So now she's got her address, right?
Christine Schiefer: No she's...
Em Schulz: Well, I guess she already... Didn't she already if she was already working out of her own apartment?
Christine Schiefer: No, she never worked out of her apartment.
Em Schulz: Never.
Christine Schiefer: She had a...
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Studio in Brooklyn, but since it was, quote unquote, "an emergency" and Viktoria kept pushing it, she's like, "Okay, you know what, just come over to my place and I'll do them for you."
Em Schulz: Gotcha.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, in between...
Em Schulz: And now she got the address.
Christine Schiefer: Clients and now she has the address. So on August 28th, 2016, Viktoria arrived for her appointment at Olga's apartment. As a gesture of thanks. She had brought some baked goods with her and they were three small like kind of bars of cheese, like cheesecake bars.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: That she said came from a world famous New York City bakery. So they're hanging out, they're doing their thing. Viktoria eats two of the cheesecake pieces and then insists Olga eats the third. Olga ate the whole bar. It's like it wasn't that big. Uh, and immediately felt ill.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Immediately.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, within minutes she was vomiting profusely. She then began to get extremely dizzy and she lost consciousness.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: What Viktoria had done was that she had laced this slice of cheesecake with a drug called Phenazepam. And Phenazepam is a potent sedative that is prescribed in Russia for seizures, anxiety, and sleep disorders.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Uh, you know, I... I feel like we've... We are probably familiar with several Azepam drugs. There's Clonazepam, Lorazepam, they're all just very... Like they change your, uh, brain chemistry, that kind of thing. Umm, so Phenazepam is a pretty intense medication. And when misused, like overdosed into a cheesecake bar, uh...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: It can cause comas, death and retrograde amnesia.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: Weirdly, according to some sources, Phenazepam can be more dangerous in extreme heat. And this is relevant because Viktoria probably knew that fact because even though it was a hot day in August in Brooklyn, or in New York City, she turned up the heat in Olga's apartment all the way.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: Then she left Olga in her apartment to die and just peaced out.
Em Schulz: Oh, wow. Pfft. And... Okay.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So according to a witness, Olga's neighbor, Viktoria stopped by the next day. She had... Presumably in my mind, she was coming to check if she had died, right?
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: However, according to the neighbor, Viktoria was carrying a container of soup with her.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: So she showed up and Olga was still alive.
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: And Olga was conscious, but extremely out of it. And she... All she remembers is that this woman showed up with a container of soup, basically told her to eat it, and she was too out of it to resist.
Em Schulz: And it was also laced.
Christine Schiefer: So there's no for sure evidence, but that is what Olga believes. Olga believes there were more drugs in it because she didn't, quote unquote, "finish the job" the first time. Like she came...
Em Schulz: Ooh.
Christine Schiefer: With food that had more drugs in it, and to check if she had died. If she hadn't, then like, okay, let's put her over the edge and add more drugs to her system.
Em Schulz: Right. I mean... I mean like the last time someone said, eat something, you were drugged. So I don't know if I would trust them again to eat this.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly. What are the odds that this one's not. Exactly. Like and under the guise that you're checking on her? Like it doesn't...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: My assumption is pretty sure there were drugs in there and that's what people believe, but it's not, you know, factually confirmed.
Em Schulz: Sure.
Christine Schiefer: So the neighbor watched as Viktoria walked downstairs, cleaned the bowl of soup, and then left the apartment. The neighbor like thought, which I'm... I'm glad again, see something, say something. I guess even in New York City. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: The neighbor was like, this is really odd. And, and started to worry about Olga probably thinking like, oh, maybe she's sick and this friend brought soup. I'll go check in to see how she's doing. So he goes to check on her and he lets himself into her apartment, and the first thing he notices is that it feels like a sauna inside. It is like boiling hot.
Em Schulz: Mmmh.
Christine Schiefer: This woman has turned the heat all the way up. He finds Olga in her bed, and she is unconscious. She's wearing skimpy lingerie.
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: And Viktoria had put that on her. So she had been wearing sweatpants when Viktoria arrived for the appointment, but... Olga had been wearing sweatpants when Viktoria arrived for the appointment. But then Viktoria had put this like...
Em Schulz: Right.
Christine Schiefer: Sexy lingerie set on her and then scattered Phenazepam pills all around the bed.
Em Schulz: Oh. To make it look like... Like, to... I see.
Christine Schiefer: Like either an overdose or suicide attempt, like unclear which one. But basically like this... This just happened. Umm, and that's how she had like, staged the scene. So Olga's neighbor rushed over to her and incredibly she was still alive.
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Uh, he took her to the hospital. She was in and out of consciousness, and she even entered a coma for a short while.
Em Schulz: [sucks teeth] Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: Like she... Like, she was very near death.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: The hospital did a urine and blood analysis, but they could find no illicit drugs in her.
Em Schulz: What?
Christine Schiefer: Umm, and so Olga was released September 1st after three days of treatment.
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: And I guess like illicit drugs, they're thinking like heroin or, I don't know. I don't know what they were searching for. I don't know why...
Em Schulz: They didn't do like a full lab? I don't know why I would expect you to know that.
Christine Schiefer: You'd think they would... Yeah. You'd think they would've found it. I don't quite know why that happened, but it's too bad.
Em Schulz: Although.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, sorry.
Em Schulz: You know what's... Oh no, I was gonna say what's interesting with, umm, like even like vitamin deficiency, you have to like ask for that to be like a separate thing. So...
Christine Schiefer: Oh yeah. And like your insurance probably won't cover it because they're like, well...
Em Schulz: So I guess there's no full exclusive panel. It only just...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like a full panel probably has very specific things in it, like that aren't the actual...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Full extent of what you can search for. And I guess if you're doing a drug test on someone, like, I don't know, maybe because this is typically a Russian drug, maybe that's why it's not in...
Em Schulz: Oh yeah.
Christine Schiefer: I... I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Umm, so when she got home from the hospital, she discovered that her apartment had been looted.
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: She was missing over $3,000 in cash jewelry. She was missing her passport, her working permits. And so now are you catching on to why Viktoria was... Yeah, yeah. The evil...
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Twin to an extent, but really when they interview Olga on the 48 Hours episode I watched, she was like, "She wanted my identity. Like she...
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: We looked so alike that she thought, oh, this is perfect. I'll kill her, take her id, her passport, bada... Bada bing bada boom.
Em Schulz: Bada bing bada boom.
Christine Schiefer: I am her now. Umm, and so that is what Olga is convinced was the plan. And I find that very compelling. [laughter] I find that pretty convincing.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Truly.
Christine Schiefer: The wild part is though, that Detective Kevin Rogers immediately doubted Olga's story. She's like, this woman drugged me. And he's like, you are just a drug user. Get out of my precinct.
Em Schulz: [gasp] Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Just like, did not even wanna hear it. Thankfully, Olga refused to back down. So she collected the plastic tray that the cheesecake had been in from the garbage and turned it over as evidence. But police were like, oh, we already dropped that case and moved on. And basically...
Em Schulz: Uh!
Christine Schiefer: Abandoned Olga, like not only with no justice, but also the fear that like, Viktoria's gonna find out she's still alive and finish the job. Like, it's just a very scary situation that they left her in. Like, imagine any food you eat...
Em Schulz: I can't.
Christine Schiefer: You're like, did Viktoria get her hands on this?
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Is she gonna do it again? Like, is she gonna try to kill me? So is...
Em Schulz: I'd be like, homegirl, looted my apartment. You can't take a fingerprint sample in my house?
Christine Schiefer: Like that's... Yeah. That's not... That's... That's not enough. 'Cause I'm at...
Em Schulz: So this is just another one of those cases, Christine, where I'd just get mad the whole time.
Christine Schiefer: You'd just get mad. Well. This one has a little bit more, umm... Actually this next bullet might make you feel better.
Em Schulz: Mmmh.
Christine Schiefer: Several months later, Olga's neighbor finally came forward to police as a witness, and Detective Rogers decided, okay, fine. You know What? Like, we have enough here. We're going to open this case. And, uh, he had to make a quote, "uncomfortable apology" to Olga, and I hope...
Em Schulz: Oh, you don't say?
Christine Schiefer: It was fucking uncomfortable 'cause...
Em Schulz: I hope it made you lose sleep.
Christine Schiefer: I hope it made you lose sleep. And he reopened her case. So police were now following Viktoria's trail, but incidentally, they were not the only ones looking for Viktoria.
Em Schulz: Dun, dun, duuuuun!
Christine Schiefer: Dun. I told you I could harmonize.
Em Schulz: That was beautiful.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. So what's happening meanwhile is that there's this man named Herman Weisberg, and he is a retired NYPD detective turned private investigator who is also simultaneously trying to track down Viktoria Nasyrova.
Em Schulz: Aha.
Christine Schiefer: Now, this private detective who's like considered one of like the top private detectives, umm, he spent so long on the NY... N... NYPD, he's very experienced. And now he has his own business. He'd been hired by a woman named Nadia Ford, who was another Russian immigrant living in Brooklyn. And Nadia had grown up in Russia, umm, dreamed of one day coming to the US watching all the cartoons and American TV shows and sitcoms. And she decided to attend college in the US, get married, eventually get divorced, but now she is, umm, living in Brooklyn.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Despite the divorce, she decided to stay, but she had a very, very, very close relationship with her mother, who she described as being everything to her. And Alla Aleksenko is the name of her mother. And she was a loving, diligent woman who worked five jobs raising Nadia and her sibling as a single mother through the '90s in Russia. Like just a very loving but like hardcore, hardworking woman. And ever since she left Russia, Nadia said she spoke with her mother every single day on the phone. And...
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: I've seen that, like when my mom moved to the US would... In her twenties, like would call my grandma every single day because like, it's really hard to move to a new country alone.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: And, umm... So there was never a day, never a day that they did not speak on the phone, and there was never a day that her mother didn't answer the phone.
Em Schulz: Mmmh.
Christine Schiefer: One day Alla had told Nadia about a new friend that she had made, uh, a next door neighbor named Viktoria Nasyrova.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: And this is in the past, this is like a few years in the past where we're traveling.
Em Schulz: Sure.
Christine Schiefer: Viktoria lived in the same apartment complex as Alla, and they were fast friends. And Nadia was a little worried because Viktoria sounded a little bit strange. Umm, and she knew that her mother was overly trusting of everyone she met. And so she's like, I feel like my mother's vulnerable. And if you see... I mean, you saw a photo of this woman, umm, Viktoria, like she does not look like a friend to play bridge with.
Em Schulz: No she is a party girl.
Christine Schiefer: Like a friend who'd be playing bridge with an elderly woman. She looks like a party girl. She has all... She's like fully done up like all of it. Like she... And she's very young. Like it... She does not look like the type who would be befriending your elderly mother. And so...
Em Schulz: No she's kind of giving like, not in a bad way, but like Jersey Shore kind of. Like she just looks like...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: She's down for a good time. Not a long time. You know? [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: There you go. Exactly. So, you know it's a little bit strange because like, there's this elderly woman who's now like best friends with this like, young party girl. It's... It just struck her daughter as weird, especially because she knew her daughter... Her mother was a little bit naive about people. So Alla seemed to love Viktoria for what it's worth. And...
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: There was nothing Nadia could do about it. They're, across oceans. So Olga was like, well, it's fine. I'm actually gonna meet Viktoria soon. Anyway, because, uh, in fall of 2014, she was planning to fly home to visit her mom in their hometown where her mom still lived. And that's Krasnodar, which is about 800 miles south of Moscow near the Black Sea. So she's like, okay, you stay friends with her. I'll get a better read when I come visit in a few months...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: And maybe I'll see well, what's really going on here. But some weird things started happening before the trip. So Alla had ta... Called Nadia and said she was a little bit worried about something that had happened with Viktoria. And apparently what had happened is Viktoria was supposed to go on an upcoming trip to New York City. And Alla was like, "Oh, well my daughter lives there. Do you mind bringing her some stuff?"
Em Schulz: Oh.
Christine Schiefer: And she's like, "Of course I'll take whatever gifts you need me to bring your daughter." So she gives this woman $6,000 to give to her daughter.
Em Schulz: Oh, okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. How do you think that went? And, uh, some valuables including two expensive fur coats.
Em Schulz: Uh, okay.
Christine Schiefer: And, uh, when they interviewed Nadia, she's like, "It's a Russian thing." I was like, okay.
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: So she... She ha... Gave these to, uh, Viktoria to bring to Nadia in New York City. But then Viktoria kept putting off the trip for like weeks, then months. And Alla's like, I think she might be like taking the money and not give... Like she's not giving it back, but she's also not planning her trip.
Em Schulz: Right.
Christine Schiefer: So now she's like uncomfortable and nervous that like, she's just lost six grand and these two fur coats that were meant for her daughter. So after some back and forth, Viktoria finally agreed that she would return the money in valuables on Saturday, October 4th. But on Sunday October, 5th, Alla did not answer Nadia's daily phone call, for the first time in almost a decade.
Em Schulz: Ah. Okay. I hate that.
Christine Schiefer: Nadia called her over 100 times with no answer.
Em Schulz: Oh. Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: And she immediately said a... Something is very wrong there... There is no way I could...
Em Schulz: You just know.
Christine Schiefer: I would call her a hundred times and she would not either answer or touch base from somewhere else.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: So she called Viktoria 'cause she's like, "Well, you're apparently my mom's BFF." And Viktoria says, "I don't know anything at all about that". She said, "I went over for a cup of tea and then I left. That's it." Another day goes by no word from Alla, Nadia is freaking the F out. She gets online and checks her mom's phone records. And the last item on the record was a call from Viktoria at 11:00 PM on October 4th. And after that...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Totally nothing completely empty phone records. So Nadia immediately gets on a plane and arrives in Russia. Only three days after her mom had disappeared.
Em Schulz: Mmh.
Christine Schiefer: Viktoria met her outside of the apartment building where her mother lived. And this is an interesting, like, fun fact, I guess. Umm, Nadia wrapped her in a bear hug, but it was not a friendly greeting. She was like, "Oh, in Russia, it's like a display of strength or aggression." Like.
Em Schulz: Oh, okay.
Christine Schiefer: She basically kind of grabbed her in 48 Hours... On the 48 Hours, uh, show they were like, Oh. So it was not like a, hi, how are you? It was like this, like tight, aggressive, uh, bear hug. And she described that the hug was meant to say, I will choke you to death if you don't tell me where is my mother. So it's like.
Em Schulz: Sure.
Christine Schiefer: What a nice hug. Yeah. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I've never had a hug like that, but...
Christine Schiefer: Uh, I... Me neither. And I hope I never do. Umm...
Em Schulz: Yeah. I'm not open to that One.
Christine Schiefer: It's not really sound... It doesn't sound fun. Apparently Viktoria pushed Nadia away and yelled, "Your mother is alive. She's alive." And at that point, Nadia was like, Viktoria...
Em Schulz: She's dead.
Christine Schiefer: Has done something. Exactly. Viktoria's done something.
Em Schulz: Like, why would that be the first thing you say?
Christine Schiefer: Why? Why? Yeah. So immediately she's like, she did something to my mother. Viktoria ran up to her mother's apartment and it was weird in there. Like it was very sterile. She's like, something... Somebody has cleaned up.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: But like extensively the entire place had been wiped off of fingerprints down to the pots on the stove. Every single service had been cleared off of fingerprints, but of course things were missing. Jewellery, family heirlooms and Alla's life savings, which she had actually hidden in a secret place under like a baseboard.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Umm, Of a cabinet. And like, nobody would've known this unless she had told like a friend or a family member.
Em Schulz: Yep.
Christine Schiefer: And she's like, there's... She definitely had shared this... That the amount of life savings under... That she had hidden under this piece of furniture was approximately $50,000.
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: And it was gone. So police questioned Viktoria, but she played innocent and convinced them that she had done nothing wrong. So they left and it was now up to Nadia to go solo and find out what the hell happened to her mom. 'Cause the police were not helping.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: She put up flyers. She constantly harassed the police and they started calling her the crazy American daughter [chuckle] because she had flown in from America and like, wouldn't drop the issue.
Em Schulz: Honestly. Like, I'd take the name, I'd be like, that's right.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly.
Em Schulz: I'm crazy. Fucking take me seriously.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly... It's like, yeah, you wanna see crazy? You haven't seen crazy.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: [laughter] So this is a wild sentence, but it's exactly what it sounds like. Finally...
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: She bought access to the traffic cameras [chuckle]], because [laughter]..
Em Schulz: That's the most unhinged Christine thing I've ever heard of. [laughter] Like if... Like speaking of you ain't seeing crazy yet, [laughter], that's like, if... If someone hurt someone you love Christine, you would buy every, every CCTV camera, every highway camera.
Christine Schiefer: For sure. It... It... It's looks like it's a wild sentence 'cause it's like, yes, I would... Like, when I hear the phrase hack into the mainframe, that's what I think like, hack into the CCTV footage. That's like [laughter] supposed to not be accessible to me. But then when they were like, "Oh wait, you bought it," in the interview, she goes, "It's Russia. You buy everything with like... You can buy anything with money." [laughter]
Em Schulz: They were like, "Okay."
Christine Schiefer: Okay. So she bought access to all the traffic cameras and she watched the footage of every single one she had access to until...
Em Schulz: Good for her.
Christine Schiefer: Yes!
Em Schulz: What a good... Like that's also... Like, I know we're in the middle of telling a true crime story, but I... Like, what a nice... I don't know what a... It's just like the... The mother daughter bond is...
Christine Schiefer: Yes. It's very...
Em Schulz: Very powerful.
Christine Schiefer: Very powerful. And like, she was on a mission. I mean, it's like any of those movies where they're just like out for... Out for justice and... And she was not fucking around. So she finds an image on one of these CCTV footage, uh, tapes of Viktoria driving a car about a hundred miles outside of town, and she recognised her own mother in the passenger seat.
Em Schulz: Good for her.
Christine Schiefer: Still... Still alive by the way, in the photo.
Em Schulz: She's... She's the girl equivalent of Liam Neeson. Jeez. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I was... I was thinking that the whole time. I'm like, it's like either Taken or what's the one where he like go... Uh, with Keanu Reeves. Umm, the like...
Em Schulz: John Wick?
Christine Schiefer: John Wick, like one of those where it's like, oh, you... Like, I know who did it and I will not rest until.
Em Schulz: She's like, "I will buy every CCTV camera until you are... " [laughter] Like, like no punches needed.
Christine Schiefer: Like genuinely has Liam Neeson shaking in his boots because [laughter] like, who needs him? You know? Umm, so she recognises her mother alive in the passenger seat and Nadia goes to the police with this footage and they're like, "Oh yeah, we have the same footage and we're actually still working on the case." And they were like... She was like, "Well, what the fuck? Like, why didn't you tell me?"
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: But for what it's worth, they are now working on the case and they were actually even able to match the plates to a vehicle that Viktoria had personally rented. So...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: Like pretty fucking clear.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Officers brought Viktoria in for a lie detector test and then released her, pending the results. Apparently she failed the test miserably. And by the time that they went to collect her, arrest her or question her more, she had fled the country. So horribly, Nadia found out that one of the officers working on the case was actually sleeping with Viktoria, uh, throughout this.
Em Schulz: Oh, it gets better. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. And Nadia is convinced that this person helped Viktoria leave the country because she should not have been able to leave the country during like an active case against her. But she somehow got out and Nadia's, like, "I'm pretty sure it was the cop she was sleeping with." So...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: You know, just a theory. But, uh, for what it's worth, he was fired, uh, because of, you know, sleeping with Viktoria. And Nadia went to meet with the head of the Russian National Police, umm, whom they described on the show as the equivalent of like the FBI, but in Russia. So she goes straight to the head of the Russian National Police, like the Russian FBI, and is like, "I need help." And they're getting through this case, they're working on it. And it wasn't until April, 2015 that they discovered charred human remains near Armavir, which is the town where Viktoria Nasyrova grew up. Nadia had to identify the remains, and she... They were... They were burned remains and...
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: She said, I... I just kept saying, no, it's not her. She's alive. It's not her. She's like, but then I saw her teeth and I...
Em Schulz: [gasp]
Christine Schiefer: I recognized my mother by her teeth. It's horrible. It's horrible. So Russian authorities notified Interpol, uh, international police, but the case went cold. And I mean, Nadia had to go home to New York after 6 months of just being on this case. Umm, she had gotten like a glimpse of hope when she saw her mother alive in the CCTV footage.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: And had hoped like maybe she was just keeping her somewhere or had like... Got mixed her up and moved her somewhere. But no, she was dead. And so she had to return to New York after 6 months on Viktoria's tail. Umm, and Viktoria is like, uh, gone, like, has just fled.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: So she's like, you know what? I'm still not done with this. I am going to... Now this is where it becomes like the... The fucking John Wick thing. She's like, "I am going to track down the person who did this to my mother."
Em Schulz: Ooh.
Christine Schiefer: And I'm gonna do it by myself.
Em Schulz: Good for you, girl.
Christine Schiefer: So... Yes, she really really nailed it. She found that after fleeing Russia, Viktoria vacationed in Mexico and then settled down in New York City. And let's remember...
Em Schulz: Oh, interesting.
Christine Schiefer: Nadia literally lives in New York City. So she's like, this chick moved to the same town as me. Like fle...
Em Schulz: Well, she's probably trying to cut... Get rid of all the loose ends. Right?
Christine Schiefer: Oh, maybe. I don't know if she knew. I don't know if she... Well.
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: She did know 'cause she was gonna visit and bring gifts. So I don't know. I don't know what she was thinking. Actually, to be honest, I don't think she was thinking much of all because... At all because the reason Nadia figured out where she was is that Viktoria was posting everything to Facebook.
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: What a dumb ass.
Christine Schiefer: Under her real name. She was posting pictures in Mexico. She was posting pictures in... Like all geo-tagged, like, like zero thought at all, just posting these to Facebook and, uh, Nadia's able to like publicly view these. So she turns these into police and immigration officials, but they didn't turn anything up. Which I'm like, fucking call me. You know what I mean? Like, they were like, oh, we have her exact location. Oh, that's too bad. Interpol can't figure it out. I'm like.
Em Schulz: Oh my God.
Christine Schiefer: How? So she hires this PI, Herman Weisberg, the former NYPD cop, who's like, "I got this." [chuckle] And he was determined to track her down. He's watching her Facebook posts, he's scrolling, he's finding all this weird shit out about her. Apparently she's posting advertisements on social media and Russian dating si... Sites. She's working as a dominatrix at the time. So she's posting all that on the internet, and he ends up focusing on a selfie she took in a car, and in the car she's wearing a pair of mirrored Ray-Bans and...
Em Schulz: Uh-huh.
Christine Schiefer: He just zooms into the fucking reflection and gets a clear view of the whole dashboard and steering wheel. And it also shows a driver's seat with very distinct stitching. So Herman goes to a parking lot with like thousands of cars, and he just looks at everyone's windshields to find the stitching that matches the stitching in the photo. He finds out that this car she's in is a Chrysler 300. So he's narrowing this down like dramatically.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: He notices that a lot of Viktoria's Facebook likes are centered around Sheepshead Bay, a Russian neighborhood in Brooklyn. So they go searching the neighborhood for a Chrysler 300. They find one and they run the plates, and a Russian name comes up...
Em Schulz: Hmm.
Christine Schiefer: And they're like, "What are the odds?" Okay, so there's this Russian man who owns this car. Turns out he is Viktoria's boyfriend.
Em Schulz: Uh-huh.
Christine Schiefer: So essentially they go to the neighborhood, look around for a Chrysler 300, they're like, here's one. It's fucking Viktoria's car. So they like already found her.
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Herman also identifies in the photo, the building that she's parked outside of, and he's able to like find out like her exact location. I mean, I love this guy. This is like my jam.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Comp... Like this is a... I mean, Interpol could never apparently like.
Christine Schiefer: Inter... Apparently, like I thought Yes, but apparently no. So.
[chuckle]
Em Schulz: Apparently they couldn't just look in windshields to see stitching [laughter], but okay.
Christine Schiefer: So he identifies the a building that the car was in front of as the building in one of Viktoria's Facebook posts. And on March 20th of 2017, he calls the police and says, umm, I'm ready to help you facilitate Viktoria's arrest for the murder of Nadia's mother Alla. But meanwhile, she's of course wanted for a crime in the United States that they don't know about, which is this crime, uh, against Olga from earlier.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: So, Brooklyn Authorities reach out to Detective Kevin Rogers, who is the one who earlier like didn't believe Olga's story. And he is like blown away that this woman is coming up again in like a totally different Interpol case now. So she is finally able to be arrested for her crimes against Olga and charged with attempted murder, assault, and grand larceny. And they were able to test the plastic cheesecake container still stored in evidence, and they found both Phenazepam and Viktoria's DNA on the...
Em Schulz: Oh, dope.
Christine Schiefer: Cheesecake platter. So like...
Em Schulz: Ding, ding, ding.
Christine Schiefer: Ding, ding, ding. Nice try. Also like, I love that she threw it away in the woman's apartment. She's like, eat this poison cheesecake, and then I'll put the wrapper in your trash can.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Okay.
Christine Schiefer: So stupid. So during their investigation, Kevin noticed the uncanny resemblance between Olga and Viktoria. And that's when he started to put things together that Viktoria's visa was about to expire. But the only place she could go back to was Russia, where she's wanted for fleeing from this murder case. So she's basically... That is why she wanted...
Em Schulz: Oopsies.
Christine Schiefer: Olga's identity.
Em Schulz: Uh-huh. Makes sense.
Christine Schiefer: Because she's like, I can't stay here and I can't go back to Russia. He said, Olga had something Viktoria wanted. And it wasn't money. It wasn't handbags. It was Olga's identity. If Viktoria killed Olga and assumed her identity, she could stay in the US permanently. He described Viktoria as extremely ruthless and diabolical. After a lengthy investigation, and then of course, all the COVID delays, Viktoria was in jail for quite a while. However, in 2018, she was assaulted by multiple inmates and badly injured while a guard watched and did nothing. So she ended up suing the city, and she won the case and she won $325,000. And it's...
Em Schulz: Wow, okay.
Christine Schiefer: I'm like very torn about that because it's like, well, of course...
Em Schulz: Yeah...
Christine Schiefer: I don't want her to get hundreds of thousands of dollars, but she shouldn't be getting assaulted in prison and just like being watched by guards with no help like it's...
Em Schulz: It's a... It's a... It's a fine line and two things can be true at the same time.
Christine Schiefer: Yes, exactly. So after all the delays... Sorry. So after all the delays, Viktoria didn't go to trial until January of 2023. So...
Em Schulz: Damn! So like just now.
Christine Schiefer: Just now, so almost like 10 years, I guess nine years after... After Alla went missing.
Em Schulz: Oof.
Christine Schiefer: Her defense attorney described the case as a total spectacle. I mean, now I guess I can tell you I should have told you earlier, but this is also known as the cheesecake murder or the Cheesecake Crime.
Em Schulz: Uh-huh. Good to know.
Christine Schiefer: So of course, it's the poison cheesecake. And, uh, you know, it reads like a murder mystery novel, like you eat a piece of cheesecake, you're poisoned and...
Em Schulz: It is.
Christine Schiefer: They take your identity like it's... It's...
Em Schulz: It's giving Lifetime.
Christine Schiefer: It's a crazy... Yes, yes, yes. And I feel like this probably will become inspired by a true story Lifetime movie any day now. He said, "Even if Viktoria did poison Olga, there was no proof of murderous intent." This is... Her defense attorney.
Em Schulz: Okay. How I was like, wait a minute. [laughter]
Christine Schiefer: I know. I know. Kevin? No! No, it's her defense attorney. Identity theory was only a theory. Okay? That said, Viktoria did steal like we said Olga's passport and working permits, which seems like a weird... Like the permits sound like a weird thing to steal unless you are trying to become another person and take over their job.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: So prosecution brought up an interview Viktoria did with 48 Hours while she was in jail awaiting her trial. And in this interview, she admitted to being part of the crime, but she wouldn't discuss details until the trial. But then at on the trial, she decided not to testify or take the stand to answer questions. So prosecution brought up this interview themselves. And when told, quote, "There's a woman named Olga who claims you tried to kill her by giving her a piece of poison cheesecake." Viktoria said, "I know whom you mean. I know this young woman. I can tell you that I did not force you to eat... I did not force her to eat it."
Em Schulz: Shut up. What do you mean?
Christine Schiefer: Literally, what do you mean? So basically, prosecution's like, let's bring that up and say, hey...
Em Schulz: [laughter] Yeah. Let's, let's unpack that. Let's explore that.
Christine Schiefer: She... She said like, I didn't make her eat the poison cheesecake that I brought to her house. You know? Like, it's a terrible argument. Uh, they were, however, during this trial against Olga, I mean not against Olga, but for the crime against Olga, they were not allowed to bring up the crime in Russia, interestingly enough.
Em Schulz: Really? Okay.
Christine Schiefer: However... I know, which always like throws me off. However, Nadia was brought to the stand and she was able to kind of allude to the crime without giving details. She said it was very serious. And she gave personal testimony, uh, of her knowledge about Viktoria.
Em Schulz: Mmmh.
Christine Schiefer: So Nadia said she wanted Viktoria to look at her while she was on the stand. She said, "Look at me, look at the person whose mother you killed. Look, look into my eyes. Remember them for the rest of your life."
Em Schulz: Good.
Christine Schiefer: Oh, I have chills. I have chills. But Viktoria refused to look at her. Refused to look at her.
Em Schulz: Evil, evil.
Christine Schiefer: It's o... It's evil. She only sat there smirking.
Em Schulz: Eww! Evil.
Christine Schiefer: Evil, evil. After just one and a half hours of deliberation, the jury found Viktoria guilty of attempted murder in a second degree. And at sentencing, Olga was able to make a victim impact statement. She said, quote, "Viktoria caused me to lose trust in people. I cannot for sure know what their true intentions are. I am grateful that this person will be punished for what she did to me." The judge declared Viktoria was a very dangerous woman and sentenced her to 21 years in prison, which is four years below the maximum 25 year sentence.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: This included time served during her trial's delay, so she may be free in only 15 years. And she's still quite young.
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: But Viktoria's story isn't over because as soon as she's released, she will be deported to Russia, where she will then be charged with Alla's murder.
Em Schulz: Oh, damn. So that's like, not it... That hasn't even happened yet.
Christine Schiefer: Nope. So basically, Interpol's...
Em Schulz: So...
Christine Schiefer: Just twiddling their thumbs until they can like, get her over there, get her to, uh.
Em Schulz: So she's not even looking forward to like a release...
Christine Schiefer: Release.
Em Schulz: Date because it's just, that's... It's only part one of the... Of the two parts.
Christine Schiefer: Yes. And the first one, you know, Olga was... Survived it, but the second one Alla did not... So.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: It's gonna be a doozie.
Em Schulz: It's gonna be worse.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. There's also, interestingly, a man in New York who claims Viktoria drugged and robbed him after he responded to one of her dominatrix ads.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: And there were quite a lot of potential stories of people who did not wanna come forward, either because they were married and didn't wanna, like, admit like, oh, my dominatrix tried to poison me. You know?
Em Schulz: Sure. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Or... Or they just didn't wanna talk about it to police or...
Em Schulz: It is somewhat of a perfect crime of like, oh, well I get...
Christine Schiefer: Yes, she found the right niche to advertise for. Yeah.
Em Schulz: Yeah. Don't tell on me. I won't tell on you. Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: Exactly. So this man who claimed that he was drugged and robbed, uh, says that after drugging him, Viktoria brought him to the dry cleaning business, he owned and dropped him off. But he was acting so strange that one of his employees filmed the interaction and filmed Viktoria dropping him off, which I was like, yes, pull out your fucking camera, film everything.
Em Schulz: That's a true, see something, say something.
Christine Schiefer: So Right. Like, I will film this. And, and it was on the 48 Hours episode, she claimed on camera, "He... Maybe he took... Took a pill." She kept saying, and...
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: Uh, oh, he drank two bottles of wine. And like, of course, when he's sober later, like when he recovers from this not sober, when he recovers from this drugging, he's like, no, I had like a few sips of wine and I was like, gonezo.
Em Schulz: Interesting.
Christine Schiefer: They called an ambulance, Viktoria fled, but not before, stealing more money and a watch from the basement, umm, in addition to the over $2,000 she spent on his Amex. So he nearly died. He spent a week in the hospital, was like, barely able to eat. Umm, and so presumably the same kind of poison that she had used on Olga. So after all of the ugliness Viktoria left in her wake, umm, her crimes connected Nadia and Olga and Nadia and Olga are now best friends.
Em Schulz: Oh, really?
Christine Schiefer: Mm-hmm.
Em Schulz: That's very... I did not see that coming. That's very lovely.
Christine Schiefer: Isn't that the nicest thing you've ever heard.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: Like they were both victimized.
Em Schulz: Like, what terrible circumstances, but.
Christine Schiefer: Yeah.
Em Schulz: They have each other at least. There's so many crimes that we talk about where people are just... They have nobody. You know?
Christine Schiefer: Yes. And it's like, of course their traumas were different because Nadia, you know, lost her mother and had to go through that process. But, you know, Olga was personally attacked and almost died. And like, so, you know, they both have trauma related to one specific person, umm.
Em Schulz: Mm-hmm.
Christine Schiefer: So it... I mean, talk about bonding, trauma bonding.
Em Schulz: Yeah.
Christine Schiefer: So Olga said... Wait [laughter], I'm gonna cry. Olga said, "When we met... When Nadia and I met, I feel like I knew Nadia all my life."
Em Schulz: Aw.
Christine Schiefer: And I feel like it was meant to be, is what I'm saying. Uh, Nadia said, "Olga is kind and openhearted and reminds her of her mom."
Em Schulz: Shut up. Oh my gosh.
Christine Schiefer: The women deeply understand each other's grief, of course, as victims of the same person. And they say they think they will be best friends for the rest of their lives. And that is the story of the cheesecake murder.
Em Schulz: Someone put only those two sentences next to each other. [laughter] 'Cause you... It was, they'll be best friends forever. That was the cheesecake murder.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: You're right, you're right, you're right. You're right. And I guess it's like oh, cheesecake murder plot or like cheesecake attempted murder because, you know, Yeah. Thankfully Olga survived. But, uh, it is a... It is a wild story, I gotta say. Umm...
Em Schulz: Ooh, wow.
Christine Schiefer: And the way that they like linked like totally different paths and then like crossed over is crazy.
Em Schulz: It was a two for one story.
Christine Schiefer: Two for one. That's right.
Em Schulz: Wow. Well, good telling it and good not telling me that it was called the cheesecake murder early on, because I would've made some real asshole joke probably. And now I'm glad I didn't. So...
Christine Schiefer: I think... I don't know, I feel like you would've been like, oh, cheesecake murder.
Em Schulz: I'd be like I... I couldn't murder a cheesecake. Something... Something that ends up...
Christine Schiefer: Well okay. Fair. You maybe would have said that. You've...
Em Schulz: It would have ended up being incredibly tasteless. You know...
Christine Schiefer: Yeah. You probably would have said that. Uh... Yeah. We'll leave it at that.
Em Schulz: Yeah. And now I feel gross that my brain even thinks it. So I...
Christine Schiefer: You're like, "Glad I didn't say that horrible thing that I'm saying now."
Em Schulz: Well, now I'm saying it in the context of...
Christine Schiefer: I know. I'm teasing you.
Em Schulz: Like, I thank God I didn't say that not knowing.
Christine Schiefer: I know. I'm teasing you.
Em Schulz: Oh man. Well, that was... That was a good story. And again our weekly... You know, what is a good story when it's just a horrible intro.
Christine Schiefer: A good story quote unquote. Yeah, exactly. Umm...
Em Schulz: Wow.
Christine Schiefer: That's that. And be careful. You know, trust your gut.
Em Schulz: Next week is episode 340 I think. Which is crazy...
Christine Schiefer: Oh, jeez.
Em Schulz: That we are not far from 350 whole episodes of every week you and me telling each other these...
Christine Schiefer: Can you believe it?
Em Schulz: These tales?
Christine Schiefer: That's a lot. Em, that's a lot.
Em Schulz: Long time. I...
Christine Schiefer: Wow.
Em Schulz: I'm trying to think when is our... I guess we've got a while before we have to worry about 400, but I just.
Christine Schiefer: I can't wait for 420.
Em Schulz: I just feel like they... Yeah, me too.
Christine Schiefer: Why? Why are you so quiet?
[laughter]
Em Schulz: No, I... Uh, I was trying to think. I was like, oh man, 420. I better start thinking of like, what... What the hell I'm gonna cover, but...
Christine Schiefer: Ohh.
Em Schulz: I'll figure it out. Then. I just, I... I just get blown away sometimes when I think about how many stories we've done.
Christine Schiefer: I know.
Em Schulz: It's wild.
Christine Schiefer: It's... It's like... It's very, umm, hard to believe, hard to wrap your mind around.
Em Schulz: And we, we still like each other.
Christine Schiefer: Well...
Em Schulz: Okay.
Christine Schiefer: Just kidding. I love you. [laughter]
Em Schulz: I do wonder how many... Are there any podcasters out there who secretly just hate each other.
Christine Schiefer: I mean, there must be.
Em Schulz: There's gotta be.
Christine Schiefer: There's gotta be.
Em Schulz: I don't know any one of 'em, but there's gotta be someone. Anyway. I'm glad... I'm glad it's not us.
Christine Schiefer: I... I... I don't wanna know them. 'Cause I feel like I don't wanna be part of the dra... That drama, but, umm...
Em Schulz: I mean I want to hear about it, but I don't want to know them personally.
[laughter]
Christine Schiefer: If you're a podcaster who hates your co-host, let us know. [laughter]
Em Schulz: Yeah, we won't tell anyone. I just wanna hear about it. That's all. [laughter] Umm, all right. Well, Christine, you got... I appreciate you taking the time to even make time for me, because you've got so many busy days ahead of you this week, but...
Christine Schiefer: Oh Gosh. Em, no, it's... It's my pleasure.
Em Schulz: I hope you... If you can find some time to ta... Today to take a little napsicle, you know.
Christine Schiefer: That's so kind. I'll try my darnedest.
Em Schulz: I... I hope for you one good nap. Umm...
Christine Schiefer: Aw. Thank you.
Em Schulz: And I hope for me one good nap. Let's be honest.
Christine Schiefer: Honestly, I should have said the same back to you. I hope for you one good nap as well.
Em Schulz: Thank you. I hope for myself too, but you know, [laughter] we could... We could go with one for now. Uh, alright, well, we'll see you all, uh, next week. And I guess another gentle reminder to drink some water because we're all dehydrated.
Christine Schiefer: That's right. We are.
Em Schulz: And.
Christine Schiefer: That's.
Em Schulz: Why.
Christine Schiefer: We.
Em Schulz: Drink.
